All the Happenings

We are home from our travels to Missouri. We had a great time and there are longer stories to tell about our visit, but for now here are some cute pics of my kids loving Grammie and Papa's. Rowan and Zane both got to ride in the tractor with Uncle JR as he baled round bales. This is a great childhood memory of mine, so I was thrilled they got to have that experience. Thatcher adored Shy the dog which is such a stark contrast to Rowan at this age. He toddled around saying "puppy, puppy" all weekend.

 

 Amy somehow failed to mention there is a two headed snake a mere 40 minutes from her house that has been there the whole time. Zane was over the moon to get to see it and all the fun exhibits at the Missouri conservation department in Cape Giraudo.

 

 I mean who doesn't want to see Rowan as a cone flower!

 

 We had family pictures taken while we were there, this was Zach and Trina's gift for Mother's Day this year. These are the sneak peaks of my family that we got while we were there. They turned out really well and I cannot wait to see the rest.

Zane requested to show is scar, because once you've been through hell you should really show it off.

 I never really thought I would have a family picture taken on a tractor, in front of a barn, but this was the spot where Thatcher was the most content so we went with it. I think it turned out great.

 Oh my these blue eyes.

 After a long drive home Monday, Zane had a doctor's appointment bright and early Tuesday morning. This was technically his six week follow up, with a doctor who we've never seen before since they were just trying to fit us in the schedule somewhere. I wasn't expecting any news, which is usually the point as a heart mom when things take an unexpected turn. The moment you relax and think everything is fine, there is some change that take you right back to full blown stressed out. The doctor said his EKG looked a little different (I didn't really probe into what exactly was changed because honestly I don't understand EKGs and more knowledge at this point would probably stress me out even more). So Zane had to wear another holter monitor patch like the one he had in March.

 This meant that he couldn't swim for three days and the placement of the patch this time couldn't be on his new stripe so it was uncomfortably in his armpit. He survived and we sent it off to California Friday morning and should be getting results in the next few weeks.

 Needless to say our summer has not be the best and we haven't been able to do any funtivities that we would normally do while the boys are all home. We have three weeks until school starts and we have officially started trying to mark adventures off our list. First up was the OKC Zoo. Friday morning it was rainy and overcast which seemed like a great day for the zoo. Mom joined us for a quick trip, going to see only thing we usually don't get around to see and of course the snakes. We watched the Sea Lion show which was surprisingly  good.

 My favorite part of the show by far was watching Thatcher wave and clap for the sea lions. I cannot get enough of his tiny hands and his adorable little voice.

 After the zoo we went to eat pizza with Grandma. It was well past Thatcher's naptime and it became clear to me that this lunch was probably a bad idea as Thatcher climbed out of his chair crawled around on the floor, and needed to be taken on multiple walks by Grandma and I. As the big boys and I quickly scarfed down our lunch I was dreading paying the bill since we weren't able to enjoy our time there at all. Much to my surprise when I went to go pay our ticket the waitress told me that a group of people at the restaurant had asked to pay for our meal and wished to remain anonymous. There are good people in the world and that small act of kindness was just the pick me up we needed. It also just so happened that while we were at the zoo we didn't have enough money to buy tokens for the carousel. So we gave a sweet little girl the two tokens that we had. Rowan threw a big fit about not getting to ride and I gave him the long version of how kindness matters and we were being kind and sometime someone will be kind to us in return. The universe quickly proved my point and it was amazing!
After naps our second adventure was going to be visiting the Clysdales in Yukon, but we drove thirty minutes only to find out that the stables are under construction and the horse were not on display. We stopped on the side of the road to look at these big longhorns instead, not nearly as fun, but always good to get a refresher on your horns down hand signals.

 We met up with Able and Kari at the park, where we nearly died of  a heat stroke, but we did get to say hi to the geese. Thatcher loves all birds (Bs) and was happy to toddler after them waving and saying hello. I now have a special place in my heart for geese. At the funeral for my friend's baby who died in April geese flew over the graveside while we were talking after the service. I told Jess that was Wyatt saying hello and thus a lovely miracle of my fondness of geese began. I like to think that little Wyatt and Thatcher would have been good buddies since they were only three months apart in age. Now Thatcher has a sweet angel friend in heaven watching over him and we get to wave hi to him every time we go to the park.

 The biggest news of the week, by far, is summed up in this picture. This picture was three months in the making. Zane played his last baseball game April 30th. As we walked to the car after that game, with tears streaming down my face, all I could think about and pray for was this moment. I knew we had a long battle in front of us. The next three months tested us both in ways we could have never imagined, but through it all Zane's main goal was to get back to swinging a baseball bat. Sadly, that is one of the last things you can do after heart surgery. At his appointment Tuesday they told him he could start to ease back into batting by hitting of the T. He was over joyed to start hitting Friday night. He did great, though still needs to work on his endurance. He has been working out with me at the gym (walking around the track, lunges, squats, that kind of thing) and hopefully will be in good shape for fall baseball. I never thought I would be so happy to see this kid swing a bat. Multiple miracles happened to get him here. Not every kid cheats death twice, by the grace of God his little life is starting to get back to some sort of normal.

 Lastly, I'm not sure what Thatcher is going to do when these two go to school. He adores his big brothers and I'm afraid he might fall into a depression when he's home with just me all day.

 

Next week our adventures include starting swim lessons for the big boys, mainly as a way for them to get to swim everyday. In the next two weeks we are also going to try to make it to the Science Center, Sam Noble in Normal with Aunt Anna, Cowboy museum, bouncy castle place, and  a quick trip up to Enid Thursday for all the fun Enid can offer (which really only take a day). Then Friday Zane is going to make his video for the American Heart Associations Jump Rope for Heart campaign. We were contacted by the AHA Jump Rope for Heart representative here in town before surgery and I'm very excited for him to be a part of it. Zane was much more excited before surgery than he is now, so I'm hoping he does a good job and is still proud of his story and the journey he has been through. We shall see!



Picture of Motherhood

This picture was taken at maybe eleven o'clock in the morning. I put this clean shirt on at 6:30 am when the first of my three boys woke up. This particular morning Rowan had a dentist appointment so I put on real clothes (going out clothes as it were) and was out of the house for an hour and a half.  When I got home I put this shirt back on and finished the morning struggle. Once I had Thatcher down for a nap I finally went to the bathroom by myself. On my way out I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. One look at my snot covered shirt and I said, out loud, "how in God's name is my shirt already so filthy?" Instead of changing my shirt I stopped and took this picture, because nothing more accurately sums up motherhood than this picture.



This is me half attempting to be pulled together because a child had a doctor's appointment. I like to try to look some what pulled together for doctor's appointment. At this point I feel the past six months have been one long running doctor's appointment I've been trying to pull myself together for. On this day I got so far as some concealer under my eyes before I was beckoned back to the living room by the screams of boys, an argument or fight of some sort to break up. I realized on my way out the door I hadn't put on mascara, so this is my quick, I'm about to be late mascara and eye shadow job. This smidge of makeup is all I've managed to do for months now. I'm ok with it, there have been bigger fish to fry.


The snot covered shirt truly sums up parenting to me. The shirt is covered in snot and tears from three different boys, for various different reasons, needing three different types of love and support all before noon. To be honest on any given day there is probably some of my blood, sweat, and tears on my shirt as well. In the past eight years I've had more tears cried on my shoulder and snot wiped on my chest than I could have ever imagined. Trying to keep these little lives together, their little hug sacks full, and their sweet little hearts from breaking is my life's work. This work is not easy and it is emotionally and physically exhausting. Don't get me wrong there are days that this work is the most joyous, amazing, fulfilling thing I've ever done. Those are the days that my mommy magic still works, I have endless patience, we go on adventures, I teach them amazing new things, and my social media feed is filled with pictures of smiling blonde headed, blue eyed, darlings.


Then there are other days, like the one pictured above, that are not recorded by the tons of pictures. The days when I feel like I'm just in the trenches of parenthood. Recently there have been days when I start to get concerned that I won't be as good at this next phase of parenting as I have been with parenting little bitty kids. What if I'm just bad at it? What if it's miserable and I am perpetually the bad guy for the next ten years? What if the sweet cuddles and fun adventure phase is over? A lot of my days now are filled with teaching hard life lessons, respect, work ethic, and kindness which are much more difficult things to teach then shapes, colors, and animal sounds. I'm great at the toddler lessons, I'm less sure about my ability to teach the important stuff.


Praise God I have sweet baby T toddling around my house, bringing a smile to my face. Even when he cries and throws toddler fits for no reason, I'm ok with it. He's one, with all our fun toddler adventures and lessons ahead of us. I feel like I'll be able to handle the two and three year old craziness much better this last time around, as I would gladly trade eight year old attitude/fits for a three year old irrational meltdown right about now. There are still moments in which my big boys want to cuddle or need hugs. The moments are dwindling though and that is heart breaking. I'm trying desperately to sneak as many cuddles and hugs in while I still can, especially with sweet Rowan who will be off to kindergarten soon and my lap with be missing a boy. I'll happily take a snot covered shirt if it means I've had a day full of blonde heads on my shoulder.


So to my boys, who may be reading this someday, they say take pictures of your mom because she's never in the pictures, she's always taking them. I took this picture for you. This is probably how you will remember me, with a snot covered shirt, my hair a mess, no make up, and fully exhausted. Hopefully you will also remember that my arms were always open for you. My lap was big enough to hold you all. My shoulders dried all your tears and your hug sack was always full. I hope you know that I would go through all the pain, all the difficult days, battle my way through the trenches of parenthood, and cry all the tears again for you my sweet boys.

Tales of a TET Baby: Six Weeks Post Op

We made it!!!! Thursday Zane was six weeks post op and it's a miracle of the modern age that we made it this far without his incision coming open. It was six long weeks of "Zane don't do that, Zane stop, Zane be gentle, Zane don't wrestle, Zane put your hands down, Zane don't push that, Zane don't pull that, Zane get off your stomach, Zane calm down" and on and on. This placed me as the perpetual bad guy, rule enforcer, and fun killer of the summer. Everything that Zane thought about wanting to do, for the past six weeks, involved something he was supposed to do. None of this made any sense to Zane since, for probably the past four weeks, he hasn't been in any pain. That's the good news of it all, he has felt pretty much back to his old self. He doesn't quite have all his stamina back up, still trying to get back in shape from the past three or four months of doing nothing, but aren't we all.

Thursday was the big day, officially six weeks out. We woke up and went to the gym, per our normal morning routine. I don't think either of us had really realized what day it was until we came home and I needed the trash taken out. I went to do it then realized, oh wait today is six weeks post op, Zane can officially return to trash duty! I broke the news to Zane he was less than thrilled to be returning to his full chore duties, but quickly got over it when he realized he could finally climb back up into his bed!

 I don't know if I have mentioned the fact that for the past six weeks Zane has had to sleep in the guest room because he couldn't climb the ladder to his bed. After a few days of sleeping in his room without Zane, Rowan decided that he would sleep on a little cot beside Zane's bed in the office. Grandma had gotten him a tiny little cot with just this scenario in mind. The cot looked terribly uncomfortable, but Rowan couldn't bare to be away from his brother for six weeks. This meant that Rowan was just as excited about the six week mark as his brother. They then spent the next hour or so making a "fortress" in Zane's bed. From what I can tell this involved putting everything, every blanket, every pillow, every stuffed animal, they could find into Zane's bed then laying up there and laughing. Currently moments of them playing together without fighting are few and far between so I let them skip naps and enjoy their fortress of fun.

 Zane spent the rest of the day on cloud nine, frequently stretching and saying "Man I just feel so good!!" I do think that he was expecting there to be a whole new world of fun activities opened up to him now that he was magically off sternal precautions. He still can't ride his bike or climb trees, that is a solid three months until we can do that, but otherwise he is pretty  much free to do whatever. He kept asking me, "what else can I do?" You can do anything kiddo, have at it. It's amazing how hard it is to think of something to do when you have all the time and freedom to do anything. My boys struggle with this so hard. "What are we doing now Mom?" I don't know kid I am not a cruise director, go entertain yourself for a hot second. No we aren't going on a grand adventure, but your day is your own to do whatever you want, so they will sit and argue with each other, why????

 With all that being said the smile in this picture above is priceless and melts my heart. The happiness is back in his eyes and that's a real smile. I could see that a weight had been lifted off his shoulders, or chest as it were. I was so proud of him for making it through all the hard parts! He was one happy warrior. Probably the biggest event we had been waiting on was getting Zane back in the pool. This kid loves to swim and we had prepped him for a summer with no swimming, so getting back in the water at all is a huge blessing and a wonderful surprise.


Friday was the big day. Against all my better parenting judgment I took all three boys swimming at the Y, by myself. I knew this was going to end in a wet mess of boys, but I couldn't put it off any longer. Everyone had a blast swimming for about forty minutes. Thatcher enjoyed splashing around right up until he didn't. I'm not sure what happened but after about forty five minutes NOTHING made him happy. He was fully over it and proceeded to scream bloody murder for the next twenty or thirty minutes while I wrangled all my boys, all their things, and tried to get myself, and everyone else back into dry clothes. Thatcher screamed his little head off in the family dressing room through this entire debacle and I'm sure the little old lady water walkers thought I was murdering my child. Luckily screaming one year old fits don't really affect me too much anymore, but the big boys were highly concerned about him and kept trying to pick him up, which just annoyed him and made him madder. Fun times, but the take away, Zane got to finally SWIM!!! The things I do for my children never cease to amaze me.

Now we have a few weeks left of summer to fit in all our normal summer activities. We need to make a trip to the Science Museum, possibly a morning zoo trip, and next week we make the treck to Southeast Missouri to see Grammie and Papa. I'm exhausted from our weeks of doing nothing and keeping Zane under control. However, I too feel like there has been a weight lifted off my chest. I can breath a little easier, relax just a little bit more. There are still moments of struggle, like when Zane played catch with Zach for the first time. He came inside, teary eyed and told me he wasn't good a baseball anymore. After a little cuddling and prying it came out that throwing a baseball actually hurt his chest a little bit, shocking I know. He also got tired faster than he use too, which made him sad and upset. Our next doctor's appointment is the 24th so he can hopefully be cleared to swing a baseball bat after that appointment. Easing him back into all the things he loves is going to be tricky and I am sure challenging, but hopefully he'll be back to feeling completely like his normal self soon.





Week in Review

1. Last week while I was working Thatcher managed to get his chin scar. Everyone little boy has one, he probably could have used a stitch in it, but we went with a band-aid. It's healing nicely

 2. Summer fun with a dollar store purchase of popsicle molds. So far we've tried pink lemonade and chocolate pudding. It's a nice cool treat on these steaming hot days.

 3. Over the past few weeks Zane has shown a big interest in learning how to cook with an emphasis  on being able to cut using a real knife. He is eight years old and a great cook, so I have started letting him try to do the cutting for dinners. We've gone over safety and he has done surprisingly well. He also has checked out a few different kids cookbooks from the library and prepared an entire meal Monday night. Uncle Able and baby Alice came to enjoy the baseball themed meal from the American League cookbook. Don't worry we have since found the National League version and will have another baseball themed meal soon I'm sure.

 4. We spent our fourth of July helping Able and Kari move into their new house. In the evening we had family dinner at our house complete with the viewing of the movie Independence Day. It was so entertaining watching my kids watch that movie for the first time. In the evening I thought I drew the short straw by staying home while Thatcher slept during evening fireworks. Turns out I had the best seat in the county. On top of the pirate ship in our backyard I could see for miles in every direction. I could see Edmond's big display as well as all the shows going on in our neighborhood and at the houses around ours. I do have to say I plan on being out of the state next year during the week surrounding the 4th since our neighbors shot of fireworks every night for a week until one in the morning. Mainly they did this on the weekends before and after the 4th, which is when I work. Not ok people.

 We did manage to get some smoke bombs for the boys to do after much begging and pleading to do our own fireworks.

 5. At the beginning of the school year I told Zane to make sure to talk to the new kids. To be friendly and welcoming because starting a new school is hard and we need to be kind. Well he took this message to heart and became best friends with the new kid in his class. He had told me that this kid was his best friend, but I didn't realize how true this was until he came over for a play date. Let me first say how amazed I am with myself that I managed to set this play date up as in general I'm terrible at that. Zane and his buddy played for three hours and after watching that I see that they really are best friends and have the exact same personality. I thought they would want to play the switch the whole time, but in reality they wrote a comic book and played pirates, Zane's two favorite things to do. So imagine how devastating it is to find out his new best friend is going to a private school next year. Zane was an emotional wreck the evening after their play date. Zane loves hard which means his sweet little heart is frequently broken. I hope they can remain friends and can have many more play dates in the future, but I know it's just not the same as being at the same school.

 6. We are grasping at straws to find fun, cool, cheap, and sternal precaution approved activities to do this summer. One of Zach's Aunts sent us a pretty big Dairy Queen gift card which means we have had a few trips up the road for a cool treat. This trip we tried the fourth of July specials which were oreos and pop rocks. I don't personally recommend it. Thanks Aunt Kathy for providing some free fun for us!

 7. Our other main form of entertainment involves going to the library. Zane is eleven books in to the twenty book Diary of a Wimpy Kid series so we go pick up whatever we've put on hold then rinse and repeat later in the week. Sunday we stopped at the candy shop in downtown Edmond. I was less than impressed and it was highly over priced, but we did leave with some GooGoo Clusters in Dad's honor.

 8. The other big story from our house is that my children fight like cats and dogs. I don't know if that's the new stage we're in, now that's Zane is eight, or if they are stir crazy, or just terribly behaved. Whatever the reason they can't get along with each other to save their lives and I spend most of my days being the bad guy, breaking up ridiculous arguments, and generally feeling frustrated that we aren't having too much fun this summer. Luckily for me the good Lord also sent me this little ray of sunshine. His personality is hysterical and he loves to cheese for the camera. This sweet smile has gotten me through some tough days.

 Look at the face! He is carrying around his little music player. He loves music and really would prefer to walk around with my phone while it plays music. However, I cannot seem to find the song he wants to listen too and I won't let him keep the screen on, so he usually ends up very annoyed with me and goes back to this baby toy that play music.

9. Yesterday our free funtivity was checking out the new Rattlesnake Museum in OKC. Let me be clear by museum I mean a tiny room with thirty rattlesnakes and a Gila Monster in it, that was incredibly hot, and terrifying. It was past downtown so it was a bit of drive for ten minutes of fun, but Zane always loves to see a snake.

 



10.  Here is our big five year old catching fish one day while I was at work. I love that the boys get to spend so much time with just Zach over the summer, but hating missing all the fun. This fishing trip was after a big rain so the water was up high enough for T to wade in it as well. I hear they had a good time.  This kid is going to start kindergarten in a matter of weeks, what??? I am in no way prepared and fully depressed about this turn of events.





The Rest of June

I am going to try to get back on track with more frequent updates on all of our children, but until then here is a look at what else was going on in June while we tried to get our life back to normal.

June has been a very wet month here, which is highly out of the ordinary. We have had quite a few big storms bringing in tons of rain and a muddy backyard. Zach got our new drainage system in just in time and it has been working wonderfully with all of the rain. Thatcher discovered the joy of puddles, playing in mud, sitting in wagons or buckets full of water.

Thatcher is huge and turning into such a boy. He eats at the table in his booster seat most of the time now, off a big boy plate, with a fork of course, and must have his snacks in big boy bowls like his brothers. He is the funniest little guy and is thoroughly enjoying have both brothers home all the time. I am foreseeing a difficult time for this kid when both brothers are off at school in the fall.

June is a big birthday month. Everett turned six the week before Zane and our other nephew Levi turned nine five days after Zane. Lots of boys getting too old too quickly. 

Rowan had his last tball game of the season a few weeks ago and I was thrilled to get to watch him play. Mom stayed home with Thatcher so I could actually watch the game instead of wrangling a toddler. Rowan is a great little baseball player, probably the second best player on his team. He catching balls, gets outs, and occasionally will even get a big hit to the fence. The little Cubbies ended up second in the standings so Rowan has a trophy waiting for him if his parents can ever figure out how to pick it up. The Lake Monster ended the season in first place and now there is once again drama with what is going to happen with that team next year. I wish it could just be simple. 

It was a solid one hundred degrees for the last game, but the kids powered through.

 Here is Rowan getting the out at third base.

 Look at how dark this kid is already.

Zane had birthday lunch with Uncle Able and Grandma complete with teeter totter rides. My boys are clothed in head to toes Cardinals everyday this summer thanks to lots of Cardinals gear from our family and friends in St. Louis. 

Able stepped up and saved the day on Zane's birthday after we had to tell him we were taking his puppy away. Able took both boys to ride go carts, play putt putt, ride bumper boats, and play arcade games. They also went to the fancy 21C Hotel which mascot is apparently a penguin and scored Zane this awesome free purple penguin for his birthday. Thanks Uncle Able, we love you!

After Zane's birthday I got to take him to a WELL child visit. So exciting. He is well, all be it huge. Time to get this kid active again.

 We exercised our civic duty and got out to the polls last week. We are trying hard to make a change in this God forsaken state. I have serious doubts about anything changing here, but there were a lot of teachers running for office who won their primaries so we shall see. Zane was excited to go to the polls after spending a few days protesting at the Capital in April. I told him this was where the real changes get made. Again, probably lying to my kid, but we have to try.

 In preparation for our weeks of taking it easy I, and various other people, bought this kid tons of new books. Tons of new books that I am now having to force him to read. For example in this picture he is reading a book that he has already read before, why?? The reading struggle has been real this past month and now there is hard, you must read thirty minutes before any screen is turned on, rule at our house. Zane has started reading to Rowan which is adorable and Rowan is working on reading as well and doing great. I can tell he'll be the kid that learns how to read perfectly over night.

Needless to say we have been going stir crazy the past few weeks. There has been lots of behavioral issues, everyone being in trouble, and everything came to blows with loss of all screens for a week and on one particular day Zane and Rowan lost playing with each other privileges and couldn't be in the same room as each other for an afternoon. This seemed to work pretty well and they have managed to find a way to get along with each other much better. Chores have been put in place, lives have been threatened, and hopefully we are turning it around. On my end of things I'm trying to think of fun, short outings, to get us out of the house before we all kill each other. Last week we went to the free cowboy museum in Edmond for a little bit after naps. It should be noted that Zane is 100% too big for this place, but was a good sport, playing checkers, and trying to not act disappointed that all the kids there were much younger than him. This place is just Thatcher's size and he had a great time exploring everything, which was all new to him.



 He let little kids put him in jail, which is always fun.

The other big fight and struggle this month has been our lack of swimming and inability to go to the lake this summer. It's a million degrees outside most days so not being able to swim also means you don't go outside for days at a time. I gave in and got some water balloons last week and invited the Richards clan over for a water balloon fight. I'm sure throwing water balloons isn't really within the guidelines of sternal precautions, but I assume it's better than full on swimming and cannon balls. A great time was had by all. Rowan and Zane also have turned the sand table into a water table where they manage to get themselves soaking wet a few times a day.  

While the big boys do that Thatcher sits in his own personal swimming pool, aka a bucket. He loves it and could sit in there all day splashing around, saying weeeeeeee, looking at birds (B's).

 

My cousin Kira got married over the weekend and do to surgery recovery and all our medical bills I was unable to fly to Portland to see it. I am so sad I missed it, but she looked lovely and seems like everyone had a great time. I wish some day we could go on vacation, but that seems highly unlikely, which is sad, but our money is being spent keeping our kids alive which is more important, if less fun. Able and Kari bought a new house so we will hopefully help get them settled when they return from Portland. I hate that we won't be able to go to the lake this Fourth of July, but such is life. My neighbors have been doing fireworks till all hours of the night for days. Thatcher woke up screaming one night and now appears to be terrified of his bed, probably because he thought he was being bombed in his sleep. 



I am working most weekends this summer, with a few exceptions for trip to Southeast MO and possibly Arkansas. It saves on childcare, but I miss weekends as a family. Time is flying by and before I know it Rowan will be starting KINDERGARTEN. I think he has something like forty four days before he starts and I just can't handle it. I think he might struggle with no naps, so we are working on him not taking naps everyday. He is also going to struggle with not cuddling me everyday, so we are working on getting lots of cuddles in as well!!! 

That's really it for June. Lot's of going crazy inside, counting down until July 14th when Zane can swim. I have them scheduled to take two weeks of swim lessons at the end of July so hopefully they get their fill of the pool by the time school starts. Surviving June has been no easy feet, hoping July is easier!