Dear Thatcher,
What to say to you? You, my sweet boy, saved my life on a daily basis this past year. The pandemic hit just weeks before you turned three. While the rest of our lives were being torn apart everything that you loved was suddenly at home all the time. This was the best case scenario in your little life. While your brothers were trying to process loss after loss, everything was fun and exciting to you. When I reached a breaking point your little face would some how light up the whole room. When I would try to go and hide somewhere to cry, you would find me and ask me if my heart hurt. You would draw me pictures to make cheer me up, you'd be silly and have fun, because you were three and this sad scary life quickly became all you had ever known. What more could a three year old ask for? Thus began your fourth year.
As we settled in to quarantine and our new pandemic normal you flourished. When brothers were doing virtual school you wanted to be learning your letters. When they had worksheets to fill out you wanted some to do too. You have learned things earlier and easier than your brother's because you were so excited to be part of the group. You spent hours playing outside with your brothers frequently being the lighthearted entertainment they needed to break up the tension of their days. Until recently you had an amazing attitude about everything, facing every with a smile and helping your brothers getting on board. Whether it was exercise time in the early days of quarantine, school work, or doing chores (picking up trash in your brother's room is your favorite) you remained a light in the darkest of days.
While I loved that you got to spend all this time with your brothers and your dad at home there was a small part of me that was a little sad to lose that one on one time with you. Three is one of my absolute favorite ages. It is the perfect time to go on outings and do fun things together. I lost my quiet days at home with you, our fun trips to the zoo or the park, and you lost the experience of going to school and being around kids your own age. There are times I feel bad about that and then there are times when I realize you haven't had a cold or been sick at all this year and I feel like it was probably for the best.
A year later you don't remember anything from the before times. You have no memories of going to stores without masks or long trips in the grocery store. You don't remember when dad went to work everyday, so when he goes to work now you remain confused about where he is going. Not remembering what it was like before has made this easier for you, but at the same time it seems somewhat sad to me. As we slowly ease back into society you have lots of questions, such as "what is a teacher," "will I have friends besides brothers," and other various comical questions that you just haven't experienced because of these crazy times.
This year your favorite things have been super heroes, all of them, specifically super hero pajamas. You have continues to love Toy Story, riding scooters and bikes, puzzles, play dough, going to get donuts, playing with your brothers, and more recently playing games on tablet. Our months at home only solidified your obsession with pajamas. I think were solid months at a time this year where you never wore real clothes. Why fight that battle when there were so many battles to be fought. Over the past few months as we have been able to go out more I wondered why you didn't have very many real pants and the reason is you spent the entire year in pajamas. You also loved reading books with me in my bed, while we chewed gumballs. You loved playing with cars, drawing, learning letters, driving your tractor in the backyard, and doing all the things your brothers were doing. When Zane baked you became his helper and official taster. As Rowan started playing more video games you started to want to learn how to play as well.
Last year we ate donuts and cake by ourselves at home and you had the time of your life. This year all the adults in the family are officially vaccinated so your birthday marked the first big family gathering since October. You didn't understand why we couldn't just open the presents and eat the cake already. What are we waiting for? The guests son! All of your favorite people were at your big day and we went all out to make up for last year. You had a pirate party to end all pirate parties. Every single minute of it felt so special. The biggest lesson from last year is that every small thing is actually a big thing and I'll never take those things for granted again.
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| Pirate brothers |
You and your cousins had a treasure hunt, you walked the plank, there were sword fights, and costumes. Your requests for food were strangely healthy but you enjoyed your salad, fruit, pretzels, and hot dogs. You got loads of presents with your favorite being your long requested trash can for your room. You were thrilled. You take such joy in the simplest things, probably your lesson from the past year. At one point in the evening you told me you couldn't cuddle me anymore once you were four because you would be too big. I'm pretty sure this came from my crying on the way home from the farm on Sunday morning, thinking about how big you are, and how soon you'd be at school and I'd have no more little boys to cuddles.
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| Treasure hunt |
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| Treasure map |
On your actual birthday, after offering you all sorts of fun activities to do, you requested to have Alice and Worth come play with you at your house. I think this was mainly so you could wear your new pajamas and Spiderman costume which I said you couldn't wear to the zoo. You have a wonderful morning playing with them then we went to eat pizza. You napped, we cuddled when you woke up and then we spent the evening at a baseball game. You're so big you don't need a stroller anymore and spent the whole time watching Jack and the Neverland pirates. We got ice cream on the way home and you decided you probably were still little enough to cuddle me for a little while longer. We ended our evening like we always do with you requesting to cuddle me in your chair and for me to sing Dear Theodosia to you. This is by far your most requested song that you want me to sing. It's been that way for a long time now.
I know these days are moments are coming to a close. I know that this time next year your long legs won't fit in my lap. I know that you're my last boy, the one that will be my forever baby. You've grown up so much faster than the other ones and it breaks my heart. This week you we got into Pre-K. As much as I want another year with you at home, I think giving you a year to ease back into being around children your age will be beneficial for you. Since brothers have gone back to school four days a week you have asked if you can go to school everyday. I think you'll love it. I know I will cry and miss you so much. For now I am soaking up every last second with you. I am going to strive to be excited for all your new adventures instead of sad for what I'll be missing. You are so brave and kind and I love you dearly.
Happy fourth birthday sweet boy!
Love
Mom
