Flash Back: A letter to Zane before he was born

As I close in on the end of my second pregnancy I thought I would post the letter I wrote to Zane when I was still pregnant with him. It took me a very long time to let myself re-read this after having him and all that followed. The place I was in when I wrote this was one of pure overwhelming joy and love. The place I was in after he was born were some of the darkest days I have faced. I am glad I wrote it before we knew all that was to come. Reading it now I remember how different that pregnancy was from this one. It was harder, in terms of me being sick and unable to breath the entire time. But on the other hand, we did get to sit around and ponder our little boy for hours at a time. I am pretty sure I napped and rested on my days off, rubbing my belly, anxiously awaiting motherhood. The nine months seemed to take forever, while this pregnancy has flown by, with little time to think about all the changes that are to come. We have been busy parenting Zane, and while we are very excited about Rowan's arrival, we just don't have the free time to sit around and think about it too much.

Anyway, here is the letter, and yes I was literally days away from having him when I wrote it. I wasn't blogging at the time so it was just a random word document that I had planned to put in his baby book some day. I am pretty sure that didn't happen, with all that was going on after he was born, so I will put it here for safe keeping.

Dear Zane,

As I write this I am 37 weeks pregnant. You are currently kicking my ribs and wiggling around in my belly. Now that we are only weeks or possibly days away from meeting you there are a few things we wanted to have said to you even before you were born. First of all we want you to know that you are being brought into a family with so much love for each other and for you. You father and I adore each other and already adore you. We cannot wait to see your little face and finally get to kiss your precious head. We are ready to sacrifice whatever it takes to give you an amazing life full of wonderful experiences and filled with as much love and joy as our childhoods were. We can’t wait to watch you grow and learn as we help you become the wonderful boy and man that we know you will grow to be. We want you to know we will always be here to help guide you, protect you, be a shoulder to cry on, a hug after a tough day, and to respect the person you choose to be. You are the biggest blessing in our lives and we pray daily for God’s guidance as we start this new phase of life as parents.

The past nine months have been extremely challenging but I know it will be well worth it. We have fallen in love with you while you were growing in my belly. Each day we have talked to you, your father has patted you to sleep during the night when you were up playing and keeping me awake, and we have sat for hours on the couch, feeling you kick and squirm. We prayed daily for your safe arrival into our family. I can’t wait to see you with your Dad; he is going to be an amazing father. He has so much to teach you and I can’t wait to see him become an amazing father. Our family will be one of tons of love, laughing, and fun!!! We can’t wait to meet you!!  We love you with all of our hearts!

Mom and Dad