There are the big questions in life that as a parent you know you're children will ask you eventually. The big stuff like what is heaven, who is God, how did Jesus die, why are we here, or where do babies come from. The ones that as a grown up you might not fully understand, let alone be able to explain them on a grade school level. As a mother of rather young children I felt like I had quite a bit of time to ponder these and work up appropriate answers. Well that is until about a year or so ago when the really deep questions in life started being hurled at me from the backseat of my car.
Sometime during Zane's final year home before school, the conversations the boys and I would have in the car got taken to the next level. Not necessarily on long road trips either. On short trips to the park or the grocery store heavy questions like "Who is God?" started coming my way, generally out of no where. I think I wrote about the day Zane asked me, "what would have happened if I hadn't had heart surgery?" That was one of the first, very deep questions he threw my way.
A lot of time the heavy conversations emerge from questions about Grandpa. We talk about Grandpa a lot and the boys know Grandpa died and that now he's in heaven with Jesus/God/people he loves. But they have lots of questions (don't we all) about the how's and why's of Grandpa's death. How did he die? Why did he die? Why did he die when he wasn't old? How do you not have a Dad but Grandma still has a dad? All the questions that have filled my soul for almost seven years and all of which really have no answers.
But as we all know children don't take, "just because" or "I don't know" for an answer well. They think we have answers to everything. So why wouldn't I know WHY my father died at sixty one verses my Grandfather who is alive and well at ninety one? So we delve into deep philosophical answers. For everything there is a season, everyone dies, Jesus needed Grandpa in heaven, it was his time to go, ect ect. All these answers are usually met with yet another why and eventually me nicely asking if we could please change the subject. For as often as they want to delve deep into the how's and why's of my father's untimely death, they just as frequently nonchalantly talk about it with tough blows like, "mom you can't play baseball with your dad because he's dead." Or my favorite, "well I miss him, but he's dead."
One of the other questions that I did not see coming AT ALL, was the day that, out of nowhere, Zane asked me, "Mom, what happened to all the Indians?" Oh son, where to begin. This question was posed when we were down by the shop so I had a solid thirty minutes to be grilled on Native American history, relocation, and the eventual death of most of the Native Americans. This question being posed by the Great Great Grandson of a man who ran in the land run, makes it all that more complicated. Not just good guys and bad guys stealing their land. There were lots of questions about who took their land, why, how, where do they live now, where are the teepees now, what happened to the buffalo. You name it, nothing easy to explain to a six and three year old.
More recently we had a deep, five minute conversation, about organ donation, how it works, who can give their organs, why people need organs, and Zane asked if he would be getting a new heart earlier this year. This stemmed from our friend Thomas, who they know get a new kidney, but had never really understand where the kidney came from. I guess Zane thought he would need a completely new heart at some time. I am not sure he was relieved or disappointed to learn his heart would just be repaired again and that he would not be getting a whole new one.
Rowan has been getting in on the questioning as of late as well. One day a few months ago, when it was just him and I in the car, he asked me "how does the sun move?" Which led to a long conversation about the sun being a star, that doesn't actually move. That we are a big planet, that is circling the sun, mind blowing knowledge for a four year old. That night Zach really amazed them both when he dropped the bomb on them that the moon was orbiting the earth, which was orbiting the sun. This all seems to have stuck with them though, because Rowan frequently tells me "the sun is moving and we are not." He got to put all his astrology knowledge to great use during the eclipse Monday.
The most recent deep question, and one I had to completely shut down, was "Who was Adolf Hitler?" This didn't come out of no where. We were talking about people who had fought in wars. I had explained that Papa worked on machinery during the Vietnam war. Then he asked if my Grandpa had been in a war, which lead to me saying yes he had been in World War II. You see where this is going. "What was WWII?" "Everyone in the world was fighting to try to stop a bad guy." "Who was the bad guy?" "Adolf Hitler," "Who was Adolf Hitler" and then I had to shut the conversation down, before I found myself trying to explain concentration camps to my children.
I love how their little minds work and love that they are so inquisitive, but do they keep me on my toes. There is no way to prepare for these conversation because they seem to come completely out of left field. I try to go with my gut reaction and pray I don't traumatize their poor little souls. My mother always told me boys speak to you the most and the best in the dark. I think that can hold true for the car in my family as well, they can't see my face which helps hide my initial reaction to their crazy questions. I can't wait to see what gets thrown at me next.
A lot of time the heavy conversations emerge from questions about Grandpa. We talk about Grandpa a lot and the boys know Grandpa died and that now he's in heaven with Jesus/God/people he loves. But they have lots of questions (don't we all) about the how's and why's of Grandpa's death. How did he die? Why did he die? Why did he die when he wasn't old? How do you not have a Dad but Grandma still has a dad? All the questions that have filled my soul for almost seven years and all of which really have no answers.
But as we all know children don't take, "just because" or "I don't know" for an answer well. They think we have answers to everything. So why wouldn't I know WHY my father died at sixty one verses my Grandfather who is alive and well at ninety one? So we delve into deep philosophical answers. For everything there is a season, everyone dies, Jesus needed Grandpa in heaven, it was his time to go, ect ect. All these answers are usually met with yet another why and eventually me nicely asking if we could please change the subject. For as often as they want to delve deep into the how's and why's of my father's untimely death, they just as frequently nonchalantly talk about it with tough blows like, "mom you can't play baseball with your dad because he's dead." Or my favorite, "well I miss him, but he's dead."
One of the other questions that I did not see coming AT ALL, was the day that, out of nowhere, Zane asked me, "Mom, what happened to all the Indians?" Oh son, where to begin. This question was posed when we were down by the shop so I had a solid thirty minutes to be grilled on Native American history, relocation, and the eventual death of most of the Native Americans. This question being posed by the Great Great Grandson of a man who ran in the land run, makes it all that more complicated. Not just good guys and bad guys stealing their land. There were lots of questions about who took their land, why, how, where do they live now, where are the teepees now, what happened to the buffalo. You name it, nothing easy to explain to a six and three year old.
More recently we had a deep, five minute conversation, about organ donation, how it works, who can give their organs, why people need organs, and Zane asked if he would be getting a new heart earlier this year. This stemmed from our friend Thomas, who they know get a new kidney, but had never really understand where the kidney came from. I guess Zane thought he would need a completely new heart at some time. I am not sure he was relieved or disappointed to learn his heart would just be repaired again and that he would not be getting a whole new one.
Rowan has been getting in on the questioning as of late as well. One day a few months ago, when it was just him and I in the car, he asked me "how does the sun move?" Which led to a long conversation about the sun being a star, that doesn't actually move. That we are a big planet, that is circling the sun, mind blowing knowledge for a four year old. That night Zach really amazed them both when he dropped the bomb on them that the moon was orbiting the earth, which was orbiting the sun. This all seems to have stuck with them though, because Rowan frequently tells me "the sun is moving and we are not." He got to put all his astrology knowledge to great use during the eclipse Monday.
The most recent deep question, and one I had to completely shut down, was "Who was Adolf Hitler?" This didn't come out of no where. We were talking about people who had fought in wars. I had explained that Papa worked on machinery during the Vietnam war. Then he asked if my Grandpa had been in a war, which lead to me saying yes he had been in World War II. You see where this is going. "What was WWII?" "Everyone in the world was fighting to try to stop a bad guy." "Who was the bad guy?" "Adolf Hitler," "Who was Adolf Hitler" and then I had to shut the conversation down, before I found myself trying to explain concentration camps to my children.
I love how their little minds work and love that they are so inquisitive, but do they keep me on my toes. There is no way to prepare for these conversation because they seem to come completely out of left field. I try to go with my gut reaction and pray I don't traumatize their poor little souls. My mother always told me boys speak to you the most and the best in the dark. I think that can hold true for the car in my family as well, they can't see my face which helps hide my initial reaction to their crazy questions. I can't wait to see what gets thrown at me next.
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