Ten on Tuesday

1. I'm hesitant to announce this since it isn't finalized until tomorrow, but we have tentatively secured a rental house in Edmond, OK. In an act of huge trust Zach looked at the house and I haven't seen it yet, but the pictures online looked really nice and it is bigger than the other houses we had been looking at over the weekend but costs the same amount. Hopefully it works out and is a good decision. It will take a couple weeks to get our stuff from STL down here so it will be a slow move down there, but we're ready.

2. Saturday was the Christmas Tea at Abbey's house. It was a huge gathering, for the Christmas Tea, which started with Abbey, I, and the Hladik girls at the old farm house eating meringue mushrooms, pigs in a blanket, and punch out of goblets. This year the Hladiks came which was a huge highlight and there was a lot more food and tons of kids from the next generation. I loved it! We also allowed boys in for the first time this year since a lot of the next generation is boys. The four of us that originally attended have eleven kids with Maggie being the only girl, how is that possible??

Jess and I with our babies!

3. Sunday morning we woke up with the fun surprise of snow here at the farm. The not so fun surprise of forty mile an hour winds followed. Zane and Zach ventured out, ever so briefly, to make a few snow angels then we were cozy warm, inside, the rest of the day. I, of course, sent the camera with Zach to capture these adorable pictures. Thank God for the snow suit and Zane's new rain boots, mittens, and Spiderman mask he got for Christmas. Just in time!

If we were still in STL I hear we could be playing in a foot of snow, way too much snow for snow angels. I'm happy with our two inches here. Zane has mastered his snow angel technique since last year.

 Perfect!

4. There has been lots of playing with our new toys since all the Christmas activities have died down. Everything has gotten it's own plastic container so all the pieces and parts can stay together. Zane has a fishing box, a camping box, and box for his new train. He is great about putting everything back in it's home and then putting the box back in the closet.

 Zane's new CAT train, with a very special passenger, Sam the monkey.

Here is Ro enjoying Hoody the cow!

5. Sam the monkey, who is taking a ride on the train in the picture above, was Zane's ornament that he got from the ornament exchange at the Christmas Tea. Zane named him Sam and we came up with quite the story about how Sam was waiting to be picked by a little boy all Christmas time at Target, but no one picked him. Until one day, after Christmas, when he was about to be thrown away, he was chosen and now he gets to live out his dream as a Christmas tree ornament. Zane might be loving him a little too much since he really isn't meant to be slept with (he has been the past two nights). Today Sam underwent surgery to secure his legs on his body. Thanks Jess for picking an ornament that doubles as a toy, we love Sam!

6. Rowan has decided to be a ten month old and need to be touching one of his parents at all times. He had a complete mental breakdown the other evening when I went to the bathroom at Abbey's house. I had planned on leaving him there while we went to look at houses, but that wasn't happening. I also think he might be sick as he is terrible restless, "I want to be held, put me down, I need to be cuddle, NOOO I hate cuddling." Just not feeling himself. One thing has become clear, he is a daddy's boy and would definitely prefer Zach to put him to sleep. Kind of makes me sad, but Zach deserves it since our eldest child is purely a mamma's boy. 

7. When Rowan breaks free and decides he want to play here is where he can be found, doing laps with his alligators or climbing in and out of the ball bouncing dinosaur. He's hysterical! He got stuck in the dinosaur at least three times yesterday, which was the complete end of the world in his current whiny, sad, state. 

He goes from one end of the house to the other, then crawls back to you, crying, so you will turn them around.

He could not part from his binki yesterday, way to sad. Also, never can keep socks on.

8. Zane has been working hard on his letters recently, with lots of help from our replacement iPad that we got for Christmas. Monday, after lots of practice on the iPad and on paper, Zane wrote his name for the first time. I help him with where on the page to start and reminded him which letters came next, but the writing was all him. He was beyond proud of himself and requested to write his name on the art projects and pictures he colored later in the day! Hooray!!!

9. I am terribly tired of winter already, but know we still have a few months ahead of us. Each night I frantically look online for activities for us to do the next day. Today we had one of our most successful activities to date with our candy cane science experiment. We put pieces of candy canes in three jars then put cold water, tap water, and boiling water in the glass jars. Then we investigated what we saw. We smelled them, felt the outside of the jars to compare the temperatures, watched the candy canes melt in the boiling water, watched the red stripe slowing come off the canes in the other jars, noticed the difference in color, and then put ice in different jars to see what would happen. This kept Zane's attention for quite sometime and we left the jars on the counter and by this evening all the candy canes had dissolved so there was more to investigate. Huge success, great use for all the old candy canes, and always fun to be a scientist.

 Looking at this I realize we need to work on our wafting technique. I mastered it in Mr. Blakley's Chemistry class, we'll learn that next time.  

10. I'm back on the eating right wagon and starving to death in the afternoons after my salad lunch. I'm logging my food again and still trying to figure out when in my crazy day I could fit some exercise in. I'm hoping once I actually live with my husband again there will be some time appear in my day, but I don't know. It's very frustrating and hard to keep on track when you're living with a three year old who eats all day long. I'm drinking lots of water, tea, trying to cut out most of the caffeine, haven't gotten to all yet, but trying. It's a start...we begin again.

Blakley Christmas and New Years

Some how this post got deleted from my blog, still not sure how that happened, but thanks to my mother in law for forwarding it back to me from her email. I'm posting it again, hopefully this time it works. I'm sure most of you already read it, but now it's here for posterity. 

It has been probably four years since I didn't have to work on New Years Day. I always would sign up for it at SLCH because I'm not much of a party person so not getting to go out on New Years never bothered me. So this year it was great to have a throw back New Years Eve, like the ones I had growing up. These would include a bon fire, Ginger Ale, pretzels, burning your regrets, roasting hot dogs, making smores, and on special occasions, fireworks. This year had all of those things and the added bonus of a celebrity sighting when Farmer Tim finally came to bring Grandma more chickens. Not to mention the fun of getting share all those traditions with my boys.

Zane started the evening off with the traditional pretzels, which I explained to him we eat because that is what my dad would always eat. "This is what my dad always ate Zane, because he didn't like nice things, like flavored chips." 

 Rowan did venture outside for a little bit, all bundled up. He desperately thought he should be able to get in the fire, so he didn't last long, but came back out for fireworks. He was not a fan!

Daddy and Zane working on our massive campfire. Earlier in the day Zane had help haul wood, he loves working.

We have been talking about Farmer Tim since we got here. He is the son of the man who has the farm with all sorts of animals that is a mile or so away. Growing up we called it the Mr. Riesen's Zoo, but Mr. Riesen passed away recently so now his son, Tim, has taken over the farm and is caring for all the animals. Earlier in the day Mom and Zane went over for a visit and once it got dark, when the chickens roost, he caught three chickens for us. Zane was over the moon excited when he arrived "FARMER TIM IS HERE!!!!!!!!!!!" Zane wanted his picture taken with him and as he left Zane ran over and shook his hand, so adorable. By far the highlight of Zane's night. There was also a fireworks show from fireworks that have been at the lake cabin forever. They all worked surprisingly well for how long they have been out there. This was Zane's first experience with fireworks and sparklers, so that was a pretty big deal as well. He did go to bed at a normal time, though begrudgingly. Able Kari came up for the celebrations which made everything more fun!

Pretty sure we are going to need to print this one off and have Farmer Tim sign it!

I made it to midnight, but did miss waking up to the sound of the Downtown St. Louis fireworks, rolling over, and going back to sleep, which had been my previous New Years tradition. I'm glad I didn't have to work the next day, but staying up late is not as easy as it use to be. We are usually in bed, at the latest, by ten. I'm fine with it, I love sleep!

Yesterday we celebrated Christmas with my family at the farm. It went much better than I had expected, with no fits over the presents being all opened. There was one fit when it was time to come back to the house from the woods, but that is what you get when you take a three year old to woods when he really should be napping. Everyone played well together, Maggie and Zane played camping/doctor in his room for most of the day, with no screaming, crying, or tattling which was a miracle. It was wonderful to have everyone here, lots of games were played, people were cooking all day (with mixed results, issues with oven/grill temperatures), but we had a delicious dinner at the end of the day. Of course the kids were crazy by that point as well and all bets were off on getting any of them to eat anything, definitely need a kids table. What happens at the kids table, stays at the kids table.

I think everyone got great gifts, the kids happily played with different things all day. Brendan got a really cool rocket launcher thing from Uncle Able and thankfully he knew what the random Lego set Zane had picked out for him was. Maggie was over the moon about her Doc McStuffins bag that Zane picked out and the little boys were pretty oblivious, but Everett did stomp around all day in his new Thomas the Train rain boots, which was unbelievably adorable. Zach and I got gift cards for a date night, courtesy of Able and Kari which we are very excited about and lots of other wonderful stuff. And Uncle Able thoroughly enjoyed his new sweater, it went great with his new pipe that he randomly has! Many thanks to everyone for such lovely gifts!

Grandma got Zane the fireman outfit so now he can be a fireman or a police man.

I found Rowan a pair of antlers here like the one's at Grammie's, thought we needed for this Christmas as well. 

As I mentioned earlier there was a trip to the woods taken with Maggie, Everett, and Zane before naps when the weather was beautiful. Everett was so cute stomping around, trying to step over branches with his short little legs, holding Grandma's hand, just darling. Maggie and Zane 'rode his dragon' again. He had decided this tree was a dragon earlier but recently watched How to Tame Your Dragon again so this time was much more fun. The house is doing great, there are plans to try to 'camp' down there when it's warmer outside. I doubt they will make it all night, but it isn't a long walk back to the house. By the time naps were over a cold front had blown through making it freezing, windy, and not suitable for anymore outdoor adventures, sad face.

Riding Zane's dragon.

 That was a big adventure for a little boy!

By the end of the day everyone was exhausted and ready for bed, or maybe that was just me. The winding down routine after such an exciting day is exhausting, but we all survived and had a wonderful time! Today I decided that my wish for the New Year is that Zane can somehow learn to do what I tell him to do or more importantly stop what I tell him to stop doing the first time instead of the fifth time. This could be an unattainable goal, but is a goal non the less. Of course the is the goal to loose large quantities of weight, but there is always that. Happy New Year to everyone! Hope everyone had wonderful holidays this year!!!

This is probably  my favorite picture from the entire day. I found Everett, posting up, in the little red rocker, watching Mary Poppins, with no pants on. So hysterically adorable!

This shot sums up just exactly how exhausted these two were at the end of the day. Mary Poppins was on, but pretty sure they were both asleep with their eyes open here.

Zane's Stripe

After Zane's surgery I worried about whether or not Zane would care that he was different with his scar. I worried about what kids would say, or if he would be ashamed of it, or confused by it. Frankly I worried a lot. As timed passed it became strange to me when I saw kids without a sternal incision because I had gotten so his to Zane's little chest. His 'stripe,' as we affectionately started calling it, was just part of who he was, something that had just always been there. He knew it was there, would play with the little horn at the end and the spot where he can feel the wire on his sternum, but he couldn't care less about it. Zane did ask about it when we talked about his heart, like at his cardiologist appointment or on his heart birthday when we talked about the doctors fixing his heart when he was a baby. Sometimes he asks to put stripes on his animals or dolls, but just so they would match him. In reality I knew that at some point this would change, but was happy with how well he was dealing with it.

Two months post op, six months old. You can see his two chest tube sites really well in this picture too. He still has though scars as well which sometimes he searches for. Oh how far the stripe has come, barely noticeable now.

Yesterday, at the Christmas Tea at Abbey's house, there were lots of kids there, most of which Zane had never met and who were also mostly older than him. Zane was wearing his fancy pearl snap shirt, that prominently shows off his stripe. Also, there were two other people there (Sarah, an adult, and August a six month old) who have the same birthday as he does. When I told Zane this he pulled his shirt up and said, "but you not have a stripe"  and ran away, as though his stripe had something to do with the day he was born. As the day went on I noticed his pearl snap was becoming more and more unbuttoned and that his stripe was looking a little red. There was doctor being played on and off during the day so I thought he might have been showing it off then, he is pretty proud of it most of the time.

Mr. Zane on his third birthday!

When we got back to the farm, and he was in the bath, I noticed that his scar was definitely red and when I asked him what had happened a slightly sad conversation ensued. I did take it all with large grains of salt since he is three and does love making up stories. He asked me why Rowan doesn't have a stripe, told me that "I show the girls it cuz they not know what it was." "I told them it just a stripe, but I not the same, they not have one." There was also a point in the day when he came in crying because "the girls called me disgusting" which I'm really hoping was because he was doing something disgusting (very possible) and not because of his scar. Then while I was getting Rowan dressed I heard him in there playing, listing off  everyone he knows who doesn't have a stripe. "Rowan have a stripe? No.... Maggie have a stripe? No.... Brendan have a stripe? No." This is when we had the same conversation I had had with him earlier in the day about how he is very special and we don't know any other kids who have a stripe and he how is very unique ect. This is starting to seem like a conversation we'll be having a lot.

To be fair I haven't spent much time with Zane while he is around other children that he doesn't know. Maybe this has happened before at daycare, who knows. But recently he has been lots of things that are the same, so I could see it being a new thing as well. I only really see him when he is around his cousins or other kids he has played with before. To all of these kids Zane's stripe is just part of him. Most of his cousins refer to it as such, I think Adeline might have even coined this phrase shortly after his surgery when she use to ask when 'his stripe was going to go away.' She use to always check when we came down for a visit, "his stripe is still there Aunt Audra." I'm not sure whether she was just checking to make sure it hadn't disappeared or if she was hoping it would go away, but now no one gives it a second thought. However, other kids will ask him what happened or what it is and luckily Zane isn't shy and usually displays it proudly, as he should. But for a few minutes, in the bath, he did sound sad about not being the same and it broke my heart. He asked if there were other kids with stripes and I assured him that there were lots of other kids with stripes and when he gets older he can go to camp and see tons of kids with stripes just like his. "I want to see them, where are them?" "We see them tomorrow.... maybe?"

In both of these pictures he was proudly showing me his stripe. Above, with his tank top pulled way down, and below he had taken his shirt off and was running around singing about it. So he is in now way mentally scared by it right now.

That's my sweet sweet boy. To me his scar is a daily reminder that his life is a miracle and a gift that could easily be over by now. It reminds me that he is a fighter, strong and brave, and that he has no idea all that he has been through in such a short life. It also reminds me that that chapter will never fully be over, there is another surgery, it will take him longer to fill out his medical history forms, he can't join the military (praise God), he probably won't be able to get life insurance, all things that are fine, just different. It's a part of his story that was written before he can remember and  part of mine that changed me as well, but it's our story and I, for one, have grown to love his stripe!

Christmas 2013

This year we ventured, through the ice and snow, to SE Missouri for Christmas with the Korenaks. The plan was to leave Saturday, but it was too icy, so our plan of driving it in two days, with a break in Springfield, was shot. We powered through on Sunday, with a ten hour car ride with two kids. Zane did great, per usual, watching movies, singing, and snacking, mostly without complaint. He was very excited to see Grammie, Papa, and Shy Shy ( the dog). Rowan hated his life most of the day with very little sleeping and lots of playing with Sophie the giraffe. I was pretty car sick most of the trip from turning around handing out toys and snacks, but we made it in time for dinner and wonderfully welcomed home by everyone.

Jingle Boy made the trip with us, Gary met us there, and Zane found a new elf friend, who he named Todd. We decided Todd was a retired elf, not unlike Jingle Boy, so he could be touched. "He just have a little magic Mamma."

Monday we made cookies with Grammie and played with the Prance kids in the evening.  Zane is officially taller than Levi and they had lots of very loud fun together. Christmas Eve we had a big, delicious, lunch at Aunt Trina's with lots more fun with all the Prance kids. Adeline and Clay took turns holding, walking, and feeding Rowan. They are great big cousins, very gentle, and always making sure Rowan was alright, with lots of toys to play with. In the evening we went to Christmas Eve mass, which prior to children was my favorite mass of the year. The church was beautiful, everyone was in their Christmas dresses (not my boys obviously), and all the best Christmas carols were being sung. However, with children it's like a marathon. We got there early to get a seat, which we ended up not using because the attention span of our kids was pretty well used up by the time mass started. Zane was excited to see Baby Genius, who was carried in during the processional, but we couldn't see them from our seats, so the long wait was on to go to see him after mass. There was lots of walking around in the back of church, checking out the Christmas trees, and pictures of Baby Genius. All told it took over two hours but Zane got to go see the baby in the manager with daddy and papa after mass.

 Very serious about decorating Christmas cookies. 

Rowan's new friend, Miss Adeline.

 These were Zane's fake smiles for the evening. 

As good of a Christmas family photo as we could manage with two busy boys.

Once we got home there was lots to do, dinner, baths to take, matching Pjs to put on, cookies to put out, a video from Santa to watch, good byes to say to Gary, and then off to bed so Santa could come. The boys looked amazingly adorable in their matching pjs. Zane got to hug and kiss Gary since it was his last night, then set him out to go back with Santa.

 Santa called in to update us on his night. He was headed our way!

 Final hugs and kisses for Gary.

The Korenak boys in their matching PJs. I'm definitely doing this again next year, way too cute!

All ready for Santa!

And then there was Christmas day, Rowan's first Christmas. The morning went well, Santa had come, filled the stocking and there were a few presents for the boys. I didn't go over board this year because we don't have lots of extra cash, we were going to have to transport them to and from MO, and I knew that the rest of the family would also be getting them things. So the morning present opening only lasted maybe twenty minutes, after a month of build up. So there was a minor breakdown, which I had expected. However, the rest of the day, with multiple huge screaming fits about wanting more presents and all sorts of not fun or appropriate things, I had not expected. It was heartbreaking on numerous levels. I hated that he was missing Christmas, which he had waited so long for and was so excited about. It was sad that during all the craziness I totally missed Rowan's first Christmas and Zane didn't pull it together enough to enjoy the toys that he gotten. Needless to say it didn't go as I had envisioned and my apologies to Grammie, Papa, and the Prance clan for all the screaming and craziness. 

 These two pictures of Ro are about it from the day. The big bouncy cow, Howdy, was his big present from Santa.

 The little alligator at the bottom is Snappy, my personal favorite toy of the day. 

 Although Zane wouldn't believe it, he did get tons of fun stuff, like matching Spiderman's with Levi and a super cool Police costume. Multiple people gotten taken to jail throughout the day. There was a fit about daddy not going to jail when he was busy setting up the Prance kids new X-box.

Aunt Trina got Ro the ball bouncer which was a huge hit for all ages!

It was wonderful seeing everyone, lots of good food, fun times playing with our niece and nephew. As happy I am that I get to see Abbey's kids more now that we are in Oklahoma I am equally heartbroken that I don't get to see Trina's kids more often. I miss them and adore them all. They are growing up to be such lovely people. We had a great game of Sorry with Adeline and Levi, while Zane was napping, too much fun! I did get to hold Rowan while he was sleeping, but other than that not sure how he spent his first Christmas. Such is life I guess, but still sad. Thanks to everyone for all our wonderful presents they are greatly appreciated. 

Not sure why we even allowed Zane in this picture since he was pouting/crying, but there he is. 

Clay (10), Blaine (9), Levi (4.5), Adeline (nearly 7), Rowan(10mn), Zane (3.5)