Weekly Update

Tuesday was too shocking/devastating for me to pull myself together and blog. I won't get on my soap box just yet about that, not yet soon... but suffice it to say as a woman, a mother, and a person who loves/respects people of all races, sexes, sexual orientations, colors, and creeds I am embarrassed to have the face of my country be someone who openly disrespects everyone who doesn't look like him. Ok a little soap box!




1. Well the calendar has flipped and we are officially in November. I quickly took down the Halloween decorations (mostly so I could steal all the pumpkins for the baby shower) but also because Zane keeps me on track, reminding me daily it was time for Thanksgiving celebrations. First up in our celebrating was making pilgrim hats and hand puppets.

 This night we were telling the much lesser known story about the time the Mayflower was attacked by pirates. It was Rowan's idea, Zane wanted to make a pilgrim puppet and Rowan wanted a pirate! So much family fun.

 2. Last weekend we finally got to celebrate Kari and sweet baby Alice. We had a little pumpkin shower, which I have to say has been my favorite shower/party to decorate for. It was so easy since I had a million pumpkins at my house, but also so cute and Abbey has a perfect house for big events.

 There was a pie bar, popcorn bar, and a hot chocolate bar! So much fall fun!

 Kari's two little nieces helped her with all her presents, which is always darling to watch.

 S'more party favors, yes please.

  My favorite part was the guest sign in/finger print tree. Everyone left a finger print as a leaf on the tree I painted. It had the mom to be crying within the first five minutes so I'd say it was a success. At the end it was full of lots of leaves, all people who love little Alice Pearl.

 3. Happy veterans day tomorrow to all our favorite veterans. Here is Zane's "Favorite Veteran Page" on the bulletin board at school. There are plenty more, but these are the two closest related, still living veterans. There is a Veteran's Day program at his school tomorrow, but Zane is going to go visit one of his favorite veterans instead. He's making his first trip to the famous S.E.M.O woods. I have to say I'm more than a little nervous about Zane being around so many guns and worried he will be heart broken at the sight of a dead animal. But we shall see. It is camping out, sort of, so I'm sure our boy scout will have a good time.

4. Monday was my monthly doctor's appointment. All still looks good with little man. I hear he's a squirmy little guy, who did not want his heart listened too. He is moving around a lot, kicking me all night long. The name search goes on and our big ultrasound is next Thursday. I'm very anxious about it, but ready to get it over with.

5. While Zach and Zane are in the woods Rowan and I are going to Grandma's house in hopes of keeping his sadness to a minimum. Rowan and I are best of friends these days, so I am sure we will have lots of fun.

6. Zane has officially moved on to first grade words, complete with a personalized folder with first grade sentences for him to read as well. He is taking his reading practice very seriously and has greatly improved since the beginning of school. I personally love how proud of himself he is, here is to raising a reader.

7.  After my day at home trying to sleep and pull my life together, I took the boys to Maggie's riding lessons yesterday evening. My boys really should live on a farm. They love all animals and being in nature. They got to pet the horses, brush some, watch Maggie's lessons, and then go see the big girls doing some jumping outside.



Here is Zane's favorite horse, Z!





8. I have briefly started thinking about Christmas, but quickly have become overwhelmed. Zane remains impossibly to buy presents for and in preparation for my unpaid maternity leave our Christmas budget will be tight. It truly feels like yesterday that I was planning out gifts for everyone last year. Time needs to slow down ASAP.

9. Yesterday was tough. By the end of the day I was exhausted, both physically and emotionally. My boys could sense that and were beyond loving and wonderful. When we got home from seeing the horses, everyone showered, then we rested on the couch. I ended the day, laying next to my six year old, who I am sure had no real understanding as to why I was so sad, but he sat there and gave me pats. So shines a good deed in a weary world!

10. This week Rowan has rediscovered a few classic toys/entertainment. First up he has discovered the movie Cars again. This movie comes and goes in our house, kind of like Toy Story. It's always a hit and a boy classic. Rowan loves all cars/hotwheels and is now on a mission to collect all the cars from the movie. Just check out his Amazon wishlist, newly updated with lots of Car things. Secondly he found the astronaut costume in his closet. This started as Brendan's and has been one of the best hand me downs. I think Abbey got it in the DC airport at some point, but it too is a classic and currently fits Rowan perfectly. He has worn it to the bus stop, with his cowboy boots, for the past two days. It's the little pieces of joy these days!







It's Just You and Me Today Right?

We are few months into Zane being in kindergarten. Zane is thriving in kindergarten. He has lots of friends, he loves his teachers, he is learning a lot, thoroughly enjoys riding the bus everyday, and we hear only great things from his teacher. I'm very proud and thoroughly relieved that all my years of stress and hard work have, for now, paid off. Way to go Zane!! However, Rowan and I are still adjusting to our new routine at home without big brother. Rowan is doing slightly better and does seem to be a little less depressed over of the past month. He has even figured out how to play at the playground by himself. This is all great progress for little Rowan.

With all this being said we are still trying to work out some kinks in the system. Every morning, after Zane gets on the bus, Rowan's little shoulders drop, along with his tiny head, and we start the long walk home hand in hand. This is when the cutest sentence in the world comes in, "It's just you and me today, right mamma?" "Right, buddy!" Sometimes he follows it up with a, "I'm happy Mamma, are you happy? This is said in the fakest happy voice imaginable. He tries so hard to put on a happy face. These questions often pop up during night time cuddles as well. "Is it just you and me tomorrow?" Poor little man is still struggling.

After our sad walk back to the house Rowan usually will put up some sort of sad, pathetic fight, about not wanting to go to the gym, but he always handles his time in child watch at the gym like a champ. He doesn't really play with other kids there, now that his big brother is gone. Every time I peek in on him he's chatting up the teacher (I hear it's usually about his outfits or his new little brother). Recently he has convinced me that walks around the neighborhood can work in place of our usual morning trips to the gym. He forces these walks even on days I just want to lay on the couch, so it's really win, win.

After our morning exercise we run our errands were Rowan is happy to report that he's a big brother so he doesn't have to ride in shopping carts anymore. He can be a big helper when we are shopping or loose his mind completely, there is really no in between. When he is in the midst of loosing his mind his excuses for his craziness are always about how much he misses Zane. " I just miss my Bobo!" "Where Bobo?" "When is Bobo coming home?"  or sometimes my personal favorite, "My head hurts." He gets particularly emotional around nap time every day and begs for Bob's hugs. It's truly sad, but I'm thinking his sadness might help with three hour naps, which are a God sent at this particular stage in my life/pregnancy.

Rowan doesn't nap for three hours every day, so on the days when his nap only lasts an hour he cannot wrap his tiny little head around the fact that Zane isn't going to be home immediately. This leads to hours of, "Is it time to pick up Bobo yet?" "Where's Zane's bus, it here yet?" And on and on and on. Yesterday, he woke up at one and at about one thirty he said, "Ok mom, I'm ready to go to the bus stop to get Bobo." Sadly, we had two  more hours to go before bus stop time. So we spend our days cleaning the house, we cook in his kitchen, he helps me cook in my kitchen, we sit outside and have  snack, all in a very slow, relaxed pace. I personally am thoroughly enjoying this time with just Rowan, whether it's a living hell for him or not. We cuddle a lot, read books, look at pictures on my phone, or his most recent favorite pass time, we watch videos of him as a baby. He gives baby brother and I lots of hugs and kisses and reassures me frequently that he is my best friend. There are moments that he wants to play and not cuddle and that's when he delivers another fabulous line "I love you till mamma!" Ok Ro, I love you still too! That tiny face is just too much fun.

With all my one on one time with little Rowan I have been blown away with all that he can do by himself. He has learned to buckle himself in the car seat and is working on unbuckling himself. He can use the potty all by himself, don't you dare try to help him. He can get dressed by himself, including putting on his belt, and of course picking out the best outfit. Yesterday he showed me he knows how to zip his jacket, no idea when he learned that. We are working on learning letters, though he really just wants to be able to read like Bobo. He's begging for a big boy bike like his brothers, and no he does NOT need training wheels. I pray that he continues to thrive as a big kid once his little brother arrives. I hope he takes pride in his new found independence and doesn't slip back into pretending to be baby. Hopefully we can avoid that with the bigger age gap this time around. But until little man arrives I'm soaking up every minute when it's just Rowan and I. Soon he'll be getting on the bus in the morning as well. Then I'll miss his sweet smile and adorable little voice so much. How can I make time stand still?

Three Boys!!!

When I was pregnant with Rowan I was 100% confident that we were having a girl. Just as confident as I was that Zane was a boy. All the random old wives tales pointed to Rowan being a girl. The Chinese calendar trick, the online quizzes, the old Indian string test, everything pointed to a girl. I wanted a girl at the time and felt confident that I was pregnant with little Emerson Blakley. Then we went to get an ultrasound and the same woman who had missed Zane's heart condition told us that we were having a boy. Of course I didn't believe her because she was obviously terrible at her job. But then the doctor came in to do the high risk ultrasound and confirmed we were indeed pregnant with another little boy baby.

For the rest of Rowan's pregnancy I was sort of in denial about him being a boy. Even when we brought him home from the hospital there were a few late nights when I was up feeding him that I remember thinking, "wow he really is a boy." There were times during the first few months when I was sad about not being able to buy dresses, hair bows, or use the cute tiny shoes we had bought shortly after finding out we were pregnant for the first time. Needless to say it took awhile to adjust to the reality of two boys and thoroughly embrace being a boy mom. Now three years into being a mother of two boys and I am completely sold.

While the great debate over whether or not to have another child was raging, I have to be honest, one of the things we weighed heavily was the real possibility of having a daughter. This thought terrified us both. After a solid five years with only boys and I had completely lost the desire to have a daughter. I know I would have figured it out and loved a sweet little blonde headed girl, but in my heart of hearts I really wanted another little boy baby. I often said "I want another one, just like the other ones." We had everything we needed, we knew how to do it, we were use to the loud, crazy, rough, and tumble life. I adore my sweet boys and take the responsibility of raising strong, caring, kind, men very seriously. Had there been a guarantee of a boy we would have made the decision sooner.

However, there are no guarantees in life which meant we had a few months to wait and see what baby number three would be. With this baby I had genetic blood testing, like I had had with Rowan, but this time the test tells you the gender. This meant we found out what we were having in a bit of a different way and earlier than with the boys. We weren't sitting in a dark ultrasound room together, hearts racing, waiting to hear the news. This time I got a phone call at work, then had to find time to call them back to get my results. I was standing in a supply closet, by myself, on my cellphone. My heart was still racing and I could tell the poor lady on the phone was pretty nervous. She asked if we were wanting to find out the gender and when I said yes her reply was, "Well I see you have two sons already...... so..... you're having another little boy." I could feel her bracing for my out pouring of tears. She was quite shocked to hear my utter relief and "praise God" response. Later that day Zach received an enthusiastic "IT'S A BOY!!" text message.

I'm not sure why everyone in society feels like all mothers are just dying to have a baby girl and they just can't be complete without one. Before I knew what I was having the constant questions/statements I got were, "Oh I hope you get your girl." "Oh you guys decided to try for a girl?" As though that is the only possible reason someone with two boys would get pregnant again. Even more frustrating than these asinine questions are the responses I get now when I tell people I'm pregnant with yet another boy. Looks of pure sadness and sympathy. Literally "I'm so sorry," and "Oh maybe the next one will be a girl." The same people who thought I was crazy to want three kids, now think I'm going to have four, because of course I could never be complete as a mother without bows and tutus. I'm sure there are women out there who have always dreamed of daughters and who are truly devastated to have all boys. But I do wish people would believe me when I tell them I am not one of those women.

 I am thrilled about baby boy number three. The only part about having a girl that would have been easier would have been naming her. Little Georgia Blakley would have been an adorable name, but the easiness would have stopped there. I wasn't excited about the drama, the fashion, the hair, and the crazy culture that we live in now that I feel would make raising a daughter unbelievably hard. There have been people who don't believe me when I tell them that I am legitimately excited about three boys. But I swear it's true. Not just because we have all the clothes and toys, but because I truly enjoy raising young men. I think it's a difficult task that takes strong mother's as well as strong fathers. I love the idea of three strong sons standing by my side when I'm old. I know how much grown men love their mothers and protect them. I take great comfort in that and in the thought that when they are all grown there won't be a much younger little sister who could possibly be left out of sibling fun. I don't get sad when I think about never going to ballet classes, never shopping for prom dresses, or planning a wedding. I wasn't a huge fan of any of those things myself and am perfectly fine not having to do them again. I have nieces who I adore and I am very excited about my newest little niece that is on the way. If all I every really wanted to do was buy the cute clothes and accessories I can still do that. I will have plenty of girl fun with them then come home to my loud messy house.

So now we wait for baby boy number three and debate names. With the other two by this point in my pregnancy I had a name in the back of my mind that kept coming up every time I thought about them. A name I was pretty sure we would land on in the end, while we discussed other options. Sadly our boy name list is non existent now and the struggle to find new, interesting, name is very real. We've pretty much given up on it for the time being. Zane is especially annoyed by this and asks me daily, "but what are we going to call this baby?" Your guess is as good as mine kiddo. The boys are extremely excited about a baby brother and talk to him daily. Zane was thrilled to learn that at 18 weeks (which I am now) the baby can hear them talk. Their excitement is helping me stay excited while I feel miserable and stress out about naming this tiny human. We can't wait to meet him, and I have a good idea what he'll look like!!

I am only mostly sure this is Rowan

 

Ten on Tuesday

1. Zane had a great 6th heart birthday at school this year. I was at work and missed the whole thing, but did enjoy the heart shaped cake that he and daddy made after school. Also we took a few selfies before bed. How has it been six years??

 2. Last Thursday was a very spooky, foggy, morning which made for lots of fun during our morning ride. The last fifteen minutes or so before we have to head to the bus stop this is what the boys do. Pick their ride for the day and then ride in circles until my alarm goes off. This day was very spooky so they had to stay on the side walk.

 3. Thursday was also Harry Potter Day at Zach's work. Of course Zach was The Dark Lord, but he won lots of bonus points for the surprise appearance of the cutest little Dobby in the world. Rowan made his rounds, getting lots of oohs, aahs, and candy. So adorable!

 4.This week was the make up campfire for the boy scouts who missed out on a bonfire during their camping due to rain. This was the first den meeting I had attending it and it was pure and utter craziness. To be fair this one was outside so they were less contained, but still lots and lots of boys, even for a well seasoned boy mom. Zane went around glad handing his friends and making new ones all evening. Zane's boy scout troop consists of him, Mase, Owen, and four Jacobs. Can you guess what the number one most popular name for boys was five years ago??? All very cute!

 5. Rowan has taken to getting to the bus stop in style. It is a two block walk, and that's obviously "too far away" for my lazy Ro! He has found second gear and now is not only riding in style, but riding quite quickly too.

 Friday was also dress up as your favorite Story Book character at Zane's school. Of course there is no contest for Zane, Harry Potter (from the Sorcerers stone).

 6. Rowan and I went to the Harvest Party in the afternoon, where we got to enjoy snacks and watch a magical "potion" experiment (dry ice). Zane is best buddies with everyone in his class and I'm so proud at how well he is doing in his new environment. Lots of moms told me they had heard all about Zane, hopefully good things.

 7. Friday afternoon I had a fun outing with the boys after the harvest party. We had to replace Rowan's skinny jeans that I had ruined in a terrible toilet cleaning accident involving bleach. Both boys were starving so we had an early dinner followed by pumpkin carving at home. It was a great evening with no fits, everyone getting along, and great fun. I miss my outings with both of them so so much!

 Pumpkin carving this year was quite amazing since both boys carved almost all by themselves. I helped with the clean out and a few pointers here and there, but for the most part they were fully independent.

 8. Friday night Zach and I went to his work's Halloween Party. The boys had a baby sitter for maybe the second time since moving here. She was a work friend of mine who I think felt bad since Rowan had a pure panic attach when we went to feed her dog for her earlier in the week. Rowan got all dressed up and ready for her. I hear they had a blast with her and got to stay up late!

 The theme of the party was 90s movies and Zach and I knocked it out of the park with our ode to Wayne's World, circa 1992. I was pregnant Garth and loved how comfy my costume was!

 9. Halloween morning was tough for Zane. Halloween is by far Zane's favorite day and this was his first year "missing it" at school. Nothing exciting was going to be happening, but he didn't accept that. All this sadness was followed by him nearly breaking his leg on a ladder while falling out of a tree. Needless to say Zane needed a pick me up. So I brought him lunch and surprised him with Grandma, what could be better?? It was lovely and we had a great little chat with him during our 20 minute lunch. I love this kid.

 10. Usually my Halloween party is pretty intense. Sadly the baby was trying to murder me yesterday so I wasn't at the top of my game. I have to say that I'm getting pretty sick of felling miserable. However, I did the best I could to put together a festive dinner. The menu included spider web taco dip, rice krispy snakes, donut hole eye balls, zombie burgers, mummy dogs, and of course watermelon jack-o-lantern vomiting fruit salad. That's the best I could do.

 Before we knew it the sun had set and we had to rush to get into costumes and get pictures taken before we headed out to trick or treat. Zane was Daniel Son from Karate Kid! I am confident that there is a picture of Able from our childhood that looks exactly like this. Big props to Grandma for getting him this outfit for his heart birthday.

 Little Rowan, my pumpkin head, was a pumpkin! Grammie's pumpkin costume was used once again, it's a classic. Rowan was adorable and rocked it with cowboy boots, which really pushed it over the top.

 We went trick or treating in Aunt Abbey's neighborhood so we could see the super spooky house and trick or treat with our cousins. Zane got a glow stick at Sunday school so spent a lot of his trick or treating singing "The Light of Christ" a la Easter Vigil Mass. Classic!

 Our little pumpkin trick or treated at his very own, slow pace. He didn't keep up with the big kids, but trick or treated at all the houses mostly by himself, sometimes with little E. He was very brave, spoke to everyone, and had a great time, minus that one time he walked straight into a mailbox while looking in his candy bag.

Here he is braving the very scary witches house. When she asked if she could make him into a pie and responding "Ummm, NO I'm going with my Mamma!"

And his evening was topped off with his favorite candy, Sour Patch kids!!! A great time was had by all.