We are few months into Zane being in kindergarten. Zane is thriving in kindergarten. He has lots of friends, he loves his teachers, he is learning a lot, thoroughly enjoys riding the bus everyday, and we hear only great things from his teacher. I'm very proud and thoroughly relieved that all my years of stress and hard work have, for now, paid off. Way to go Zane!! However, Rowan and I are still adjusting to our new routine at home without big brother. Rowan is doing slightly better and does seem to be a little less depressed over of the past month. He has even figured out how to play at the playground by himself. This is all great progress for little Rowan.
With all this being said we are still trying to work out some kinks in the system. Every morning, after Zane gets on the bus, Rowan's little shoulders drop, along with his tiny head, and we start the long walk home hand in hand. This is when the cutest sentence in the world comes in, "It's just you and me today, right mamma?" "Right, buddy!" Sometimes he follows it up with a, "I'm happy Mamma, are you happy? This is said in the fakest happy voice imaginable. He tries so hard to put on a happy face. These questions often pop up during night time cuddles as well. "Is it just you and me tomorrow?" Poor little man is still struggling.
After our sad walk back to the house Rowan usually will put up some sort of sad, pathetic fight, about not wanting to go to the gym, but he always handles his time in child watch at the gym like a champ. He doesn't really play with other kids there, now that his big brother is gone. Every time I peek in on him he's chatting up the teacher (I hear it's usually about his outfits or his new little brother). Recently he has convinced me that walks around the neighborhood can work in place of our usual morning trips to the gym. He forces these walks even on days I just want to lay on the couch, so it's really win, win.
After our morning exercise we run our errands were Rowan is happy to report that he's a big brother so he doesn't have to ride in shopping carts anymore. He can be a big helper when we are shopping or loose his mind completely, there is really no in between. When he is in the midst of loosing his mind his excuses for his craziness are always about how much he misses Zane. " I just miss my Bobo!" "Where Bobo?" "When is Bobo coming home?" or sometimes my personal favorite, "My head hurts." He gets particularly emotional around nap time every day and begs for Bob's hugs. It's truly sad, but I'm thinking his sadness might help with three hour naps, which are a God sent at this particular stage in my life/pregnancy.
Rowan doesn't nap for three hours every day, so on the days when his nap only lasts an hour he cannot wrap his tiny little head around the fact that Zane isn't going to be home immediately. This leads to hours of, "Is it time to pick up Bobo yet?" "Where's Zane's bus, it here yet?" And on and on and on. Yesterday, he woke up at one and at about one thirty he said, "Ok mom, I'm ready to go to the bus stop to get Bobo." Sadly, we had two more hours to go before bus stop time. So we spend our days cleaning the house, we cook in his kitchen, he helps me cook in my kitchen, we sit outside and have snack, all in a very slow, relaxed pace. I personally am thoroughly enjoying this time with just Rowan, whether it's a living hell for him or not. We cuddle a lot, read books, look at pictures on my phone, or his most recent favorite pass time, we watch videos of him as a baby. He gives baby brother and I lots of hugs and kisses and reassures me frequently that he is my best friend. There are moments that he wants to play and not cuddle and that's when he delivers another fabulous line "I love you till mamma!" Ok Ro, I love you still too! That tiny face is just too much fun.
With all my one on one time with little Rowan I have been blown away with all that he can do by himself. He has learned to buckle himself in the car seat and is working on unbuckling himself. He can use the potty all by himself, don't you dare try to help him. He can get dressed by himself, including putting on his belt, and of course picking out the best outfit. Yesterday he showed me he knows how to zip his jacket, no idea when he learned that. We are working on learning letters, though he really just wants to be able to read like Bobo. He's begging for a big boy bike like his brothers, and no he does NOT need training wheels. I pray that he continues to thrive as a big kid once his little brother arrives. I hope he takes pride in his new found independence and doesn't slip back into pretending to be baby. Hopefully we can avoid that with the bigger age gap this time around. But until little man arrives I'm soaking up every minute when it's just Rowan and I. Soon he'll be getting on the bus in the morning as well. Then I'll miss his sweet smile and adorable little voice so much. How can I make time stand still?
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