Game day... then and now

I meant to write this post after the first game day weekend of this football season but... things happened so I am just now getting around to it. My fellow Sooner alumni know what all goes into a proper game day. In college, game day started with me getting up, generally having to set an alarm, to watch ESPN Game Day, which at the time was on at 9am, if I remember correctly. I would lay in bed and watch the entire 2 hour show for the ten minutes where they would talk about how awesome the Sooners were. Usually Anna and I would then eat orange danishes and start getting ready for the game ( of course if it was an 11am kickoff we were in the stadium by 9am, because students had to get there two hours early to claim their seats).

Once we arrived at the stadium, 2 hours before kickoff, we met up with our friend Jeff and my brother Able ( while he was still there) and the waiting commenced. During these two hours we generally thought we were going to die of a heat stroke and/or kill the pre-game entertainment on the field who were trying to keep the students "entertained" by random competitions students participated in. Every week there was a give away of some sort, ranging from paper signs, to foam football helmets. The give aways were only in the student section and obviously made our two hour wait totally worth while. There of course were the pre-game warm ups, the bands pre-game events, ect.. (the picture to the left is of Jeff and I rocking our foam helmets) but all that started much closer to actual game time. Thinking back on it I am sure by the time the game actually started we were all completely dehydrated because I don't remember drinking anything at games, except on the rare occasions when I splurged for a diet coke ( not really helping the dehydration).

Once the game started it was four hours on your feet screaming and cheering for our beloved Sooners. I am pretty sure I only witnessed one loss, so generally the day ended with great celebration as the Sooners blew out who ever they were playing. I was there when Adrian Peterson was in his prime, so that was tons of fun to witness as well. On a side note I almost hit Adrian Peterson with my car one time. That would have been highly negative, I feel I might have been murdered by Bob Stoops or a hit man the school hired. I digress, this fun was repeated each Saturday that there was a home game. It was four hours a week I wasn't studying and in reality was the only real social thing I did in college, minus my roommates and I's trips to Rusty's frozen custard ( yes I was a nerd and trying hard to get in to medical school, what a waste of time).

When I graduated and moved to Missouri game day festivities definitely decreased, mainly due to the fact that not all of our games were on TV here and I had two teams to cheer for, Oklahoma and Missouri. When I started working I got to see even less games since I work every third weekend. The plus side to this was that I had less anxiety about the Sooners season but generally the season would end with the Sooners in a big time bowl game, frequently the national championship, and they would loose hard. Not fun.

The picture below is of Able, Dad, and I at an OU vs. Mizzou game in Columbia. They came to visit Zach and I while we were living there, briefly. Of course in true Dad (OSU alumni) fashion, he rocked the orange.

This season game day changed drastically. The first week of the season, which was labor day weekend, Zach and I laughed at the idea that just last year we had set an alarm to get up to watch game day. I laughed at the thought of how worked up and stressed out I would get when I watched Sooners games. OU vs. Texas weekend was never fun, it was just stressful. On our first game day as parents we set the rules of Zane's clothes on game day. The rule is Zane wears the outfit of the team playing at that time. He will continue wearing that outfit until a) the game is over or b) you run out of outfits (due to vomit ect), at which time he will be put back in the other team's apparel until the end of game day.  I have to say Zane looked super cute in his clothes.

We had a fun BBQ, on the first game day, with Zach's best friend Adam and his family. They were in town for the Mizzou vs. IL game. They came over after the game and everyone was decked out in their Mizzou clothes. We took this adorable little family photo, Zach and Zane look like they are part of the family.

So far this season I have "watched" two games. I barely paid attention to either game, mainly due to the cute baby playing on the floor next to me. At one point Zach came in and asked why we weren't winning by more and it was the first time I could legitimately say I didn't know and truly didn't care. I wish the Sooners well and will always be a huge fan but am glad I can not be so stressed out by a silly football game. You need that attitude to be a Sooners fan since generally our season ends in heart ache.

Our big eater!!!!

After a few nights of Zane being up way to much/getting up way to early, we decided it was high time that kid started learning how to eat. He still has about 10 days until he is officially 4 months old but he can hold his head up great, he is huge, he loves his high chair, and he needs to sleep longer at night so I thought what the heck.

 Zane, in general, is not a great eater. Yes, he is three months old and weighs 15lbs. but he is finicky about it.  I am sure part of this is due to his little reflux issues, but I also think part of it just stubbornness.There are days where he eats great without complaint and then there are days, like today, when every time I tried to give him a bottle he would freak out. Don't worry, he ate some but just not as much as a 'feeding' day. On his off feeding days he doesn't get crabby and act hungry he is just uninterested in eating and he usually will pick back up the next day.

This evening, while we were waiting for Zach to arrive with our grilling supplies for dinner, I got Zane all set up for the big event. I brought the high chair up from the basement and was slightly concerned he was not big enough to sit in it, but when I put him in it he loved it. That is really just how Zane would like to be all the time, sitting up like a big kid, able to see everything that is going on. I got out our fabulous monkey/banana bib, mixed up some formula and rice, grabbed the camera, and waited for Zach to get home to witness his son's first "bites" of food.

This of course turned out to be very anticlimactic since, as expected, he really only swallowed a tiny amount, if any, of the tasty rice cereal. He had a great time in his chair and thoroughly enjoyed spitting out his food and grinning about it. He did seem pretty confused about what was going on, looking at me with a look like "why is my crazy mother sticking this purple spoon, with cardboard tasting mush on it, into my mouth and then getting so excited about the whole thing." 

I know he won't get even close to really learning how to eat before surgery and I am sure we will have to start over afterwards, a couple weeks is a huge period of time for a 4 month old. But this is when I would have started feeding him if he wasn't have surgery and I didn't want to put it off because of that. If nothing else it is great entertainment and helps me look forward to a time after surgery when I will have a happy baby boy in a high chair to feed.

A month gone by

I got up with Zane early this morning and he quickly went back to sleep in his swing. I decided I would try to pull myself together a little bit for work today instead of just putting on my glasses and calling it good. Keep in mind "pulling myself together" entails putting on a little make up and wearing contacts.

On the dark drive to work this morning I realized what day it was, October 7th. I burst into tears as I realized that a month had passed since Dad died. In a way it was strange because months often would pass without me actually seeing my father, but rarely would a few days go by without talking to him. I quickly tried to gather myself because I knew I had a long day at work ahead of me and I couldn't let the emotions of all that I miss creep into my head or I would be unable to do my job.

However, for the rest of my silent ride to work I contemplated the reality of all that I miss and will miss about my Dad. I tried to imagine a future where there would be no more random phone calls from Dad, checking in on me, or calling me to ask how Able or Abbey were doing. No more long emotional conversations about how proud he was of us, how amazed he was of the work I did, how glad and grateful he was that I had found a wonder husband to share my life with, or how much he loved me. All the random scientific knowledge that I didn't ever really learn because I knew that it was a phone call away, like what kind of dirt I need for my gardens, which plants grow well together ect, all gone now. These things were, at times frustrating, to my siblings and I in the past. We often had little patience for Dad's emotional rants or science lectures, I regret that now, and would give anything to have one of those conversations now.

Needless to say when I arrived at work I was fully regretting wearing contacts, as they were completely covered in make up and rendered useless. I did my job, though admittedly not well, and with a lot of help from the wonderful girls I work with. As I walked down to breakfast I thought about how much Dad would have loved Children's Hospital. I could just picture him pulling aside Zane's nurses and having long conversations with them about how wonderful they are and how they are doing God's work. He would tell them his life story and we would all have been slightly embarrassed. Now he will be watching over all of us, giving us strength, and being with my baby boy when I cannot.

Ten on Tuesday

1. Yesterday was a rough day for me, everything made me cry for some reason. It could have been the getting up at four AM or the exhaustion from working this weekend. Either way Zane and I had to get out of the house and do some retail therapy. We went and got Zane some long sleeve shirts and pants for fall (hooray). We also made a quick stop at Hobby Lobby.

2. Zane hates Hobby Lobby. Every time we go there he loses his mind, which he never does when we shop. No matter the time of day, if he is hungry or not, asleep, awake, it doesn't matter he hates it. This is probably a good thing and keeps me from wondering around buying things I don't need. Don't worry I was there yesterday long enough to buy plenty stuff I don't need.

3. I am trying to start putting Zane in his crib for his day time naps. So far it hasn't worked so well. Yesterday I tried this twice. The first time he stayed asleep long enough for me to put the groceries away and the second time he slept long enough for me to open the mail and get a glass of water. Today I couldn't put him to sleep without his swing so... no naps in the crib today. I know it is pretty much pointless since after surgery any routine we once had will be gone, but as mentioned in yesterdays post, he is getting really close to being too big for his swing and bouncy chair so he has to learn to sleep in his bed.

4. Yesterday I wanted to take Zane outside to play a little bit in the fall weather. I could hear my Grandma Dotter yelling at me, "put a hat on that baby, he is going to catch pneumonia," but when I went to get a hat for him all the ones in his drawer were too small (including both Pooh hats that came with his magic blanket). So I had to bust out his Top Banana hat from his Halloween costume. This was the highlight of my day. Zane looks just like Zach when you cover up my Dad's hair line. Here is a preview of coming attractions, don't you love it!!

5. Speaking of which, Zane's hair looks just like my Dad's. I knew this was coming as that is just how genetics works, but now it is really difficult. I have been trying to keep his hair combed forward so I don't have to think about it, but within the past week his hair has just naturally started growing that direction. Zach thinks my Dad brushed his hair that direction for so long it became ingrained in his DNA. I know some day it will be really special but right now it just makes me miss Dad.

6. On a lighter note, how about those Sooners. I had to work Saturday and I have to say I don't think my coworkers love the Sooners as much as I do. They should, however, because the Rams star quarterback, Sam Bradford, was a Sooner. So all the Rams "success" is thanks to the great training he got as an Oklahoma Sooner. P.S. I am just a little bit bitter that my brother-in-law, Brent, got to go to the game.

7. I am excited that my mother and Aunt Christal are coming up to the STL next Monday. However, that will mark the beginning of surgery prep. This Wednesday and Thursday are Zane's last days in daycare then he will have Grandma daycare until surgery.

8. I am still having stabbing back pain. I did see the doctor and am taking a steroid pack and 800mg of Ibuprofen every 4 hours but this doesn't seem to be helping. The paper the doctor gave me about how to relieve lower back pain said I should lay on the floor with my legs on a chair for 1-2 days, but no longer or I may have muscle breakdown. So I'm going to get right on that in all my free time. This morning I scheduled an appointment with a physical therapist, however, I am only off six weekdays before Zane's surger, so I don't know how much good they can do in such a short time. I hate that I will most likely need to go to a PT appointment everyday I'm off, I want to spend that time with Zane.

9. Check out this blog post, by my sister, about Able's bean bag boards. I think they turned out absolutely amazing. Of course this led Zach to contemplate how we can spice up our bean bag boards. He drew up literally 21 different  options, all OU and Mizzou themed, one involved painting a very intricate football field and goal post set up on the board with a score board that read Mizzou 70 KU 0. I don't think that is going to be the winner.

10. I randomly decided I wanted to watch the show Modern Family because I have heard it is hysterical, so yesterday I bought the first season. This was a complete impulse buy ( an intrical part of retail therapy) but it has turned out to be very funny. Zach and I watched a couple episodes last night and it was laugh out loud, border line pee your pants funny. The families are nothing like my family growing up but still great for a laugh which I need right now.

Zane's new tricks

It seems like Zane has been doing a lot of new/different stuff recently so I thought I would document some of the recent changes.

 Zane has figured out how to take his binki out of his mouth and hold it in his little hand. He usually does this then waves it around until we look at him. Once we look at him he will laugh hysterically. I have seen him successfully put his binki back in his mouth about five times, so definitely not doing this consistently, but he is so proud of himself when he does. The picture to the left is the only one I have been able to get of this because I am usually laughing to hard to think to take a picture.

Zane also is working hard on rolling from his back to his belly. He can get onto his side pretty easily he just needs to throw that leg over, put his head back, and then he will be all the way over. I know babies usually roll from belly to back first because it is easier. This would be true if the baby's mother ever put him on his belly. We did a little tummy time today and he actually did very well so I'm going to try to work on that more.

A new, frustrating, thing is Zane's complete refusal to be put to sleep. He use to be the easiest baby ever to put to sleep. All it took were the magic B's, bottle, binki, blanket, bottom pat and he was out. Now he knows what those things mean and as soon as you start to try to put him to sleep, ultimate freak out ensues. He is generally already very tired at this point so that just adds to the crabbiness. This new phenomenon coincides with him wanting to stay up later even when he is obviously exhausted. The only thing that works consistently is putting him in his swing with his binki and blanket and he will fall asleep quickly. However, his is fast approaching being too big for the swing so we will have to find another solution. Occasionally if we lay him next to us on the couch, on the magic blanket with his binki, he will fall asleep as well. However, at night when he falls asleep either of these ways and we put him in his crib he will wake up and not make a sound. We usually find him a few minutes later when we go to put away clothes or start his humidifier, then the going to sleep process starts over. (Grandma's are you taking notes on this for your upcoming baby sitting duties?)

Zane is having a lot more fun in his gym these days. He kicks and flails his little arms around in there so it sounds like a battle is going on. He grabs things and tries to get them into his mouth, which becomes frustrating since they are attached to the gym. He tries to watch tv while he is in it as well, which the rule is he can watch all the tv he wants if he looks left. This was working well and getting him to look left, but Zach told me that this weekend Zane managed to turn himself around  180 degrees so he could watch TV looking right. The picture below is of him grabbing onto something and trying to pull himself out of the gym. He is almost to long for it as it so it wouldn't take much of a scoot to get out.

He also has a new found love for sticking his tongue out and blowing raspberries. He does this and then giggles. Usually there are spit bubbles that coincide and he loves if you participate in the fun as well. Zane also has a new found love for his sailboat mobile. I randomly set him in his crib and turned it on while I was putting his clothes away the other day and he loved it. I restarted it several times and he was completely enamored by it. So stinking cute! Overall he is just getting bigger and happier. He loves when I lay on the floor and talk or sing to him. As soon as he sees Zach or I he immediately has a huge smile on his face. These are the moments that keep me going right now and I  so treasure them.

October 1st

Today is the day I have been dreading since Zane was diagnosed and they told us "we will probably wait until October or November to do his repair." In June, October seemed like light years away. Every time I would get stressed out or depressed about his surgery I would simply tell myself, "well it isn't even October yet, we have worlds of time."

I didn't even realize it was October 1st until about 3pm when I was at my doctors appointment and the lady at the front desk corrected me when I signed the form 9/30. Little did she know, that with that seemingly innocent comment, she ruined my day. I had already had a rather large break down about October being so close, last week and had moved forward, but when I realized it was officially October today I literally felt like I was going to vomit.

Time has gone by so quickly at times and unbelievably slow at others. I cannot wrap my brain around the fact that this time next month we will be in the hospital, hopefully on our way out the door. In my mind I envision time currently as an hour glass with the sand running out very quickly now. I know life isn't ending when he goes to surgery but the unknown and unthinkable is beginning.

All and all it was an uneventful October 1st. Amy came and watched Zane while I not only got my hair cut and stayed around so I could also go see my doctor about the stabbing pain in my back. I had about an hour to kill in Kirkwood before my doctors appointment so I thought I would have just enough time to go to Target and the scrub shop near by. I can't believe how quickly I forgot how little time it takes to run errands without a baby. I did my Target shopping and got my scrub pants and it only took me 20 minutes. I didn't know what to do with myself. Zane is a great side kick on our outings. He is my happy thought in the rear view mirror, always their to bring a smile when a song makes me cry or when memory creeps into my mind that brings me to tears. Needless to say it was hard to hold it together during my travels today, as it always is to and from work now a days.

Amy said Zane was great and his normal giggly self. She had wanted to come play with him for a long time and he did not disappoint. This evening we grilled for probably the last time with Zane outside. It was rather cool so Zane got to sport his Mizzou hoody. Zane stayed up rather late, which bodes well for him sleeping late tomorrow for Zach. I loved getting the extra time to play and laugh with him since I will be working all weekend.

Zane's Three Month Pictures

Here is the link to Zane's 3 month pictures. I have probably looked at them 25 times and still can't decide which ones I want to buy, pretty much because I want to buy them all. Maybe I will just do that, why not!
Enjoy!