There is no way to spin it, at times it is a rough, dirty, heart breaking job, motherhood. It's exhausting, stressful, and there is no handbook or set of rules that will guarantee that you are successful at it. But at the same time it is the biggest blessing in my life. It makes me happier than anything else on earth and it is the most important thing I will ever do. So today, on Mother's Day, I thought I would record a short list of the actual, true joys of Motherhood. Here goes...
- Getting Rowan out of his bed in the morning and after naps. Seeing his little sleepy face light up when I walk in the room, "ah mamma."
- Hearing my kids say mamma for the first time
-Singing them to sleep
-Sleeping babies on my chest
- When Ro sees me and runs over to give me a hug. Nothing better than the look on either boys face when they see me when I get home from work. They light up pure joy, "Mamma!!!" Then run in for hugs. There is no purer love than that. So priceless.
-Listening to Zane's stories, elaborate plans, and tales from his day. I love having conversations with him and answer his gazillon questions, even when it gets exhausting at times. We spend a lot of time discussing our days plans and Zane adding ideas into the mix of what we should do.
-Bedtime routine: There are days that this is a struggle, unfortunately tonight being one of those nights, with people crying, throwing fits, and getting sent to bed early. These nights hurt my heart because I miss my absolute favorite time of day, cuddles before bed. Zane still will sit on my lap and sing songs, tell stories, and talk about the plans for the next day. He will still rest his head on my shoulder and snuggle for as long as I let him. His brother not so much, but I do love the short snuggles with Ro and his blanket before he points to his bed.
-Normal days at home: Days when we have no plans, no errands to run, no laundry to do, nothing to accomplish. These are the best days. These are what get me through the 12 hours days when I barely see them at all. We just get to be with each other, playing made up games, learning things, playing outside, doing projects, and having time for cuddles and love all around. Days when I have things to accomplish and am rushed end with me feeingl like I've missed so much.
-Seeing ourselves in our kids. I love how much Rowan looks like Zach and I have started to see a lot of me in Zane. I love that they are the best of both of us, made into their own little person.
-Watching them learn: Zane is to the point where he is learning all sorts of academic things now, like numbers, letters, and letter sounds. I love watching him think and want to learn more. I love knowing that because of me he now knows and can recognize all his letters and knows the sounds most of them make. But it is equally as fun to watch Rowan learn things like how doors work, how to take things in and out of buckets, trying to put his shoes on, how to climb up and down stairs, and all sorts of other more general life things.
-Seeing them sleep: Every night I go and check on the boys before I go to bed. It is a wonderful moment to see them peacefully sleeping, after a crazy busy, loud, exhausting day. To see them laying still reminds me of how little they are and I usually watch them sleep for a moment, soaking them in. They both always have their blankets, cuddled tight, never in the same place where I left them when I put them down. I love to see who Zane is cuddling, usually Mooly, and he is always in some crazy position, like he went a hundred miles an hour until he finally just passed out.
-Seeing them love their daddy: Both boys adore their dad and I love watching them together, working, playing, wrestling, hugging, and loving. Rowan is quite a daddy's boy and Zane's favorite thing to do is help daddy work. Zach is an amazing father and I couldn't ask for a better partner in parenting.
-Seeing them play and love my family: Zane adores his Grandma and needs to see her often. They are the best of friends and Zane can't wait until her next visit and we call her often just to check in. Zane also loves all his Aunts, Uncles, and cousins and asks to see them all the time. This is why we moved back, so they can have this experience and I love watching my boys with them.
- Being able to fix anything: This comes with a lot of pressure. Anytime one of them is crying I know, with all certainty, even before I know what is wrong, that I can fix it. Usually I can fix it with something as easy as a kiss, a cuddle, and some mommy love. This is great power that I know want always come so easily. But for now I cherish the easy fixes!
These are just a few of the joys of motherhood. I could go on and on, Ro's backward walk, his little hand grasping for "more," Zane's super hero dances, Zane's concerts (usually in our bathroom for some reason), Ro's love of his big belly, Rowan's baby kisses, Zane's hug and cuddles in the morning before work, singing in the car, outdoor snack time, park time, walks, playing restaurant, cooking, dance parties, and all the wonderful times I am blessed with as a mom.
Happy Mother's Day to everyone who knows all the joys and struggles that make you a mom! Especially to my own mother who has been such a wonderful mother and Grandmother! I love you mom!
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