Nova Scotia

I have had a couple questions regarding my Ten on Tuesday comment about going to Nova Scotia. Yes, mom and I are literally going to Nova Scotia, Canada. We will be getting to use our pass ports because you have to have them now to get into Canada. Last summer Mom and Dad had discussed going to Nova Scotia because mom has always wanted to go see the whales. I had talked about possibly going along as well, but now I'm the main side kick.

The reason behind this choice initially came when Mom and I were driving my belongings to Columbia, MO before I got married ( 5 years ago ). As a way to pass the time we learned all the State Nicknames, as listed in the big Rand Mcnally map. That tells you how long ago this was, we had a paper map for heavens sake. Anyway, while learning all the state nicknames, which was very entertaining, we also decided we needed to pick a meeting place in case of a major disaster or terrorist attack. I'm not disclosing the exact meeting place on the world wide web, but I will let you know that if our entire family disappears from America, you can start your search for us in Nova Scotia.

We had jokingly said that we would go check out said location in the summer of 2011, since by that point my first child would be about one year old. Well turns out that is exactly what happened! We are going to watch the whales and I am planning on sitting by the sea and reading a book, one of my absolute favorite pass times. We still have a few things we need to nail down, mainly our vacation theme and T-shirt design, i.e. our trip to Ireland was The Hope Deferred Tour, and yes we had green, St. Patrick's Day t-shirts. We tossed around some themes last night, but I am out of practice so haven't come up with one I love yet.

That is reasoning behind the Nova Scotia trip, it should be tons of fun! We will both be able to mark off "see whales in the wild" from our goals lists. Fantastic!

Ten on Tuesday

1. Mom arrived in snowy St. Louis Saturday. It snowed all day and has been gloomy and cold ever since. So there has been no garden planting or strolling through the botanical gardens. Instead we have watched Zane roll all over the house, causing great destruction. We have also made great strides on our Nova Scotia trip planning.

2. Mom and I are going to Nova Scotia at the end of July to go whale watching and relax by the sea. Today we booked plane tickets, a rental car, and a bed and breakfast right by the ocean, I can't wait. We aren't really sure what we are going to do once we get to Halifax, but I am sure we will come up with some great ideas between now and July.

3. Over the past week Zane has become 100% more destructive and mobile. Part of this, I'm sure, is because he is feeling better than he has in a long time. We are done with his antibiotics, his little cough is pretty much gone, and he doesn't have any other illnesses ( knock on wood). This means that he is crawling all over the house, pulling things off the coffee table, pulling baskets over on himself, trying to pull up on things, and eating things off the floor, all the classic 9 month old activities. I lay in bed at night contemplating how he will get his first skull fracture, that' the neuro nurse in me. I need to to start putting away all the breakable things that are within his reach. Sigh....

4. Also over the past week Zane has decided that he thinks his bedtime should be pushed back two hours, from 7:30 to 9:30. This is nice because I was able to see him yesterday after work, but it is much harder to get him convinced he needs to go to sleep. He just can't stop moving, so it becomes a bit of a battle. In good news he has been sleeping from 9:30 to 7:00 which is great.

5. Today mom, Zane, and I had Italian food for lunch, which meant that Zane got his first taste of the famous St. Louis toasted ravioli. Needless to say he loved the toasted ravs and my cheese tortellini. He is an eating champ these days and has done great the few times we've gone to restaurants lately.

6. Zane now has three teeth. His bottom teeth and one of his top teeth are officially in. The second top tooth will be here soon. His little smile looks so different now, adorable, but different.

7. Zach is busy studying for his test next week, in between his long trips for work. He told me today that he will be driving at least 3.5 hours each day all week. Not exactly the relaxing week that he needs before his test, but he is powering through. It has been great to have mom here this week to help watch Zane while Zach is studying or out of town. He will be staying over night in Peoria, IL tomorrow.

8. This week is my father in law's last week of work at Caterpillar after 30 some odd years. He officially retires Friday. Happy retirement Mike!!! This means you guys can come up and see Zaney anytime.

9. Zach and I are going to see Conan O'Brian this Saturday at The Fox Theatre with my friend Michelle. That is if Michelle doesn't go into labor first. Keep that baby in there a little bit longer Michelle, we have to see Conan.

10. I am in the process of learning how to use the Silhouette cutting machine that I'm boring from Able. I have a lot of ideas of things I want to do, but I have yet to figure out how it really works or how to down load new designs. My first order of business is to make a Happy Birthday sign for Zane. I feel like it is probably going to take me the entire 3 months until his birthday to get this done, but it is going to be super cute.

Ten on Tuesday

1. Zane had his 9 month doctor's appointment today. No breaking news. His ears still have a little fluid on them, but are getting better. He is 29 and 3/4 inch tall and weighs 21 lb 9 oz. I didn't ask what percentage those were since it doesn't really matter. He is healthy and happy, though I'm surprised he hadn't gained more wait, it seems like he is eating all the time. He only had to get one shot today, not too bad for a check up.       

2. Zach's parents came up this past weekend and I was lucky enough to get off Sunday to enjoy some time with them in the beautiful weather. Zach and his dad worked on putting new stone around our front flower beds. I am hoping Zach will blog about the process and his vision for our yard (hint hint). The rocks are all laid, now Zach is working on the sprinkler system, after that we can put the dirt back and start the planting fun.

3. While Zach and his dad worked on the flower beds Amy and I played with Zane. At one point Amy was sweeping off the porch and Zane really wanted to help.  Here is our little helper!

4. My mom is coming into town this weekend. Hopefully the weather isn't too bad so that we can get my garden planted. I have been waiting for her to get here because I have no confidence in my ability to pick out plants, seeds, or know where to plant them.

5. I am loving this spring weather. The past few days Zane and I have been able to take walks outside which we both have loved. It's amazing what a little sunshine will do for you. I do think Zane got slightly bored on today's walk, he started to throw his gold fish out of the stroller, leaving a gold fish trail around the neighborhood.

6. I think I need to get some new toys for Zane. He is getting bored with his teething toys and rattles. I don't know what the next stage of toys are. He loves his play table he got for Christmas but isn't able to stand by himself to play at it. Anyone have toy ideas for a busy 9 month old?


7. Zane has really started to love music. I am constantly singing/dancing around the house to entertain myself and in turn entertaining him. He plays with the wind chimes everyday, he has started to "sing" with me in the car, and now that he has his energy back has taken a liking to his new maracas. I know this is going to make my mom's day when she gets here and Zane will probably enjoy hearing some different songs.

8. Yesterday Zach, Zane, and I ate lunch with my college friends, Jeff and Tess. They were in town for Tess's uncle's funeral. I hated that they had to be here for such a sad day, but I'm so happy they got to meet Zane and we got to catch up. There is nothing like lunch with an old friend. Great to see you Jeff and Tess, love ya!

9. I realized last week that I have to work Easter Sunday. I don't know how I didn't realize this before, but I hate that I will miss Easter Mass, as it is my favorite. I guess we could go Saturday night. I already have Zane's Easter basket made ( pictures to come ) so I guess he will get that the day before Easter so I can see him enjoy it.

10. In good news Zane has been taking two long naps every day for the past week or so. It is making everyone's life so much easier. He also is sleeping 'through the night' that being until like 5:30, but it is much better than before.

Lessons from heart break

I have noticed that since the recent heart breaking events in my life I am much more aware of others who are going through difficult times. The situations are not always the sudden death of a loved one or an unexpected medical diagnosis, but they are always life changing, difficult situations that break the hearts of those going through them. Over the past month or so I have had numerous friends who have been faced with very difficult situations and I have found my heart aching for them and desperately wanting to have known the right thing to say, or a way to help them, as I know just how hard it is to move forward.

I am sure people around me have always been dealing with these types of things and I hope that before my own life changing events happened that I was sympathetic to these people and tried to be as supportive as I knew how. Now I feel that sometimes people don't want to tell me about the trials they face. Possibly because they think it can't compare to losing a father or possibly because they think I don't have time to deal with any more problems. On paper I would think that the later would be true, but what I have found is that I want to use what little I have learned thus far in my process of healing, to help someone else.

So I thought I would share the few things that I have learned in my grieving/acceptance process. I, in no way, feel that I am done with this process or that I have made it to the other side of the mountain. I fully feel that I am still a work in progress and each day I continue to strive, and work very hard, at being happy. I know this is what dad would want me to do and I know he is helping me get there. However, while reflecting on what to say to comfort my friends/family I have found a few things to be true.

• First and for most you must focus on the blessings you have. At times it was a struggle to make my list, as I felt that everything around me was falling apart. But, as I was determined to start each day and each prayer with gratitude, I found that my list was extremely long and this was what I try to stay focused on. I have an amazing family, closer than any family I have ever met. I had 27 wonderfully blessed years with my father, who taught me compassion and how to be the strong, confident, good person that I am today. His job was done, even if I wasn't ready to say good bye.

•  Secondly, each day is a new day. Some days are better than others. There are days that I cry for hours and there are days that I don't cry at all. At first I would let the day I cried a lot make me depressed the day after. Now I take each day as it comes, I never know what is going to make me cry, or when I will have a good day. On the rough days the goals sometimes gets smaller, to hour by hour, such as 'ok Aud you cried for an hour, pull yourself together, and start over for the next hour.' Whatever works!

• This one I am still working on, but I know it to be true. You have to be patient with yourself and with the process. I, being a scientifically minded person, really think there should be a set plan that has been proven to work, to grieve and move forward. I felt this when my dream of being a doctor was crushed and I feel it now. However, this isn't how the world works. Everyone deals with things differently, in a different amount of time, and I don't think there will ever be a day where I can say that I am totally over my dad dying and I'm fine with the fact that I will never see him again. I will always miss him, but I am sure it will get better.

• Accept help, advice, hugs, phone calls, and food, whatever people have to offer you. I, for some reason, find this very easy. Maybe because I realize I have no idea how to deal with the situation so I am hoping someone else can give me a piece of advice that might help. I also know that this isn't always to benefit me, but often helps the other person mourn and usually helps me out in the process. I have never had so many people cook for me, clean my house, watch my child, and just all around go out of their way to make sure I that I am ok before as I have over the past 9 months. 

• Denial will get you nowhere. That is the stupidest phase of the grieving process. You have to face reality no matter how hard. Much easier said than done, but true. I did live in a large state of denial about my father while we were waiting for Zane's surgery, it was really just a coping mechanism so I would have to be committed, but under normal circumstances I think denial is a waste of time.

• One of the most important things to remember, NEVER play the what if game. Horrible idea, no matter what the situation you are what if-ing.

• Regrets will eat you alive. Learn from them, help others avoid the same mistakes, and don't let them consume you. This continues to be extremely hard for me. Again, I feel like there should be a scientific process I could use to deal with the huge regrets I have, I don't know how I am going to get past them, but I am trying.

I am sure I have learned much more than this but these where the things that stuck out in my head as I reflected on things to say to the people that I know who are hurting. I continually try to remember that my life isn't over; I have to move forward, and live each day to the fullest. To quote Winston Churchill “When going through hell, keep going." That quote has been on my fridge since I was a junior in college, I just keep going.

9 month update

Today Zane turns 9 month old. I cannot believe how time is flying by, my baby boy is getting so big. Sometimes I wish I could push the pause button and keep him at this age for just a little bit longer. Zane seems to have grown up a lot over the past month. He has a lot to say these days and gets very frustrated when we don't know what he is talking about. Currently Zane is practicing H, D, and B words which leads to some cute conversations. For example when we are in the car he often looks out the window and says ha ha ha ha over and over, it sounds like he is having a very entertaining time in the back seat. He also says da da da a lot now as well, not in context, but still very adorable. He often says a long sentence of babble repeatedly and looks at us like "come on guys, why don't you understand what I'm saying." Too cute.

He now has two teeth, the second one just broke through a few days ago. I was surprised that his two bottom teeth didn't come in at the same time, but they didn't, so now he was one bottom tooth and one top tooth ( that you can barely see ). He is still a drool bucket and chews on everything so I know more teeth on on their way. A couple days ago I gave him a little wooden spoon to play with while I was cooking dinner. It has now become one of his favorite toys, maybe I shouldn't let my baby chew on a wooden spoon, but I am sure I am not the first mother to do this.

Zane has become much more mobile over the past month, perfecting his army crawl. This works especially well on hard wood floors where he can put his hands in front of him and them pull himself forward, sliding nicely on the wood floors. I do have a blanket laid down for him to play on, in hopes of preventing him from hitting his head, but his first order of business, when I lay him down, is to roll off the blanket and begin 'crawling' around the living room. Wednesday he managed to get himself over by the TV cabinet and learned how to open the drawers. I saw a glimpse of the near future with him pulling stuff out of every drawer and off of every shelf. I can't say I'm looking forward to that stage. I guess we officially need to start the baby proofing process. Yes our baby is almost a year old, but we have been slightly busy these past 9 months. Here he is working hard at getting the drawer open, followed by laying back, very proud of his work.

This past month Zane went quickly from rarely eating table food successfully to almost exclusively eating table food and hardly any baby food. I hadn't bought any new baby food, but had continued to feed him what we had left in hopes of it not going to waste. Zane took great offense to this because he is a big kid and can feed himself, always my little control freak. He now likes to hold his own bottle or sippy cup while he drinks. However, he also like to play with his sippy cup so he often forgets he needs to be drinking his milk. He got some water in his sippy cup the other day and thought it was pretty much the greatest thing ever. I never think to give him water, but now he gets a little cup with dinner.

This past month has unfortunately been filled with all sorts of illnesses. He has had a nasty cough for weeks, a runny nose that went away and has come back, his first stomach bug, and as of yesterday his first pair of ear infections. Yes, both of his ears are infected which means we wrapped up his 9th month of life up all night with a screaming baby, followed by a day of doctors appointments, cuddles, crying, Tylenol, and a very sick little boy. He refused to sleep laying down so I had to bust out his baby bouncy chair for him to sleep in. His little feet stuck off the end about four inches and the straps barely buckled, but it worked. Thanks to Grammy for picking us up some Tylenol on her way up to her Mom's. She even brought Zane some Easter maracas that he tried to play with yesterday, but just didn't have the energy.

Hopefully our little man will be feeling better soon and we can move onto more fun spring time activities. He has gotten to spend quite a bit of time outside the past couple of days ( possibly leading to the ear infections) and he has had a blast. I can't wait for him to be running around our backyard exploring.

Happy 9 month bday little man, we love you.

St. Patrick's Day then and now

Five years ago my brother, sister, and I were celebrating St. Patty's day in Dublin, Ireland. Here we are looking young and skinny. We even had Jingle Boy, God rest his soul.

Here we are at a scenic outlook in Killarney, Ireland.

 Here we are, in our trip t-shirts, at the Cliff's of Moher.

Oh my how our lives have changed in five years. There are the obvious ways that life has changed but then there is also the sad realization that I probably will never leave the country again due to having a kid and a huge lack of money. But it was fun while it lasted.

Today I was at work, dressed in green from head to toe, trying to bring some St. Patrick's Day cheer to the patient's and families on my floor. Last night I took some pictures of Zane in his St. Patrick's Day outfit because I thought he would be wearing it to day care today which means it  would most likely not make it home clean. However, Zach forgot to put it on him today ( gasp... he probably was getting pinched all day at day care) so Zach put it on him when they got home and took some cute pictures today as well.

Hope everyone had a lovely St. Patrick's Day, sure wish I could have been celebrating with my siblings in Ireland again, but looking at my cute baby's pictures was pretty great too ( no I didn't actually get to see him or play with him today because I was working, sad face).

Mr. Wrinkle Nose

There are few things that I feel I contributed to Zane's looks. Of course I feel I had a hand in his extremely blond hair and I passed on my dad's genes to give him that Blakley round face and dad's ears. But all and all he looks like my dad and his dad, which is perfect. However, there is one more, extremely cute thing, that he got from me and that is the little wrinkle at the top of his nose when he smiles. He has had this since he was little bitty, but over the past month this has become his signature look. He does it all the time and it is so darling. I am sure that this phase/face will soon pass so I wanted to capture the moment so I can remember it years from now. Here are a few of his recent wrinkle nose pictures.

His wrinkled nose face appears a lot while he is eating. He finds his new found freedom of feeding himself to be tons of fun, which leads to a lot giggles during dinner time.

Here are multiple adorable pictures of him outside this past weekend. 

I'm not sure that the pictures truly capture how adorable he is, but I love it!

Ten on Tuesday

1. It snowed here yesterday. How crazy is that?? It is also completely inappropriate because I have decided that it is spring and mother nature needs to get on board. All the snow melted today but it was still gloomy and cold.

2. This weekend Zach and I moved our flower beds so they would get more sun. I think this was a major reason why our garden didn't do so well last year. It was beautiful outside Saturday, though slightly windy, so Zane and I were able to come outside to play as well. Here is Zane in his saucer enjoying a sippy cup of milk. Too cute!

3. Today Zane and I headed to Illinois to have lunch with my friend Michelle. This was Zane's first time in Illinois which means he now has been to three states. Hooray!

4. The real reason for our visit was to eat lunch at Michelle's favorite Mexican restaurant (Mariachis, Belleville, IL).  After 4 hours of searching the St. Louis area, I finally found a chicken chimichanga without onions. It was delicious and Zane loved the rice and beans, though we did make quite a mess. 

5. Today Zane also had his first encounter with a dog. He had a blast playing with Michelle's dog and Michelle and I had a blast watching him. No we aren't going to get a dog, but it was fun to watch him try to pet him and giggle hysterically every time he felt his fur.

6. I have been reading my mom and sister's blogs about their gardening and am getting the itch to start planting things as well, but it is still freezing here ( as evidence by the snow yesterday). We have limited space so we can't plant as much fun stuff but I think this year we are going to plant onions, garlic, lettuce, tomatoes, peppers, carrots and beets. We shall see if we have space for all of that. Maybe mom will help me plant on her upcoming visit next weekend.

7. The time change has helped with Zane sleeping through the night. He has been able to stay up later, at least until 8pm, and in turn has slept until 5:40 for two days in a row. To me that is sleeping through the night since I get up for work at 5:30. He would do much better if he could ever get rid of his cough which keeps waking him up. He was back at the doctor yesterday for it and she said it was just a cold upon a cold and he is fine, but he just sounds so pathetic. Hope he hasn't inherited my worthless lungs.

8. Zach has been studying for his upcoming professional engineering exam, which is in April. I am trying to be support and not bother him while he studies. This means I have been doing a lot of crafting and cleaning in the evening after our workouts. In good news I am able to read for pleasure again. After being forced to read for 8 hours at jury duty I am into a book and enjoying reading again.

9. Once Zach has aced his exam in April he is going to start working on building us night stands and a head board for our bedroom. Our bedroom is currently horribly boring and borderline depressing. I am hoping to make it a little more beautiful soon and the furniture is a good place to start. I'm very excited, now I just need to figure out what color to paint the room to make it look bigger.... ideas?

10. We have moved on to the second phase of P90X which means harder workouts and me being more sore. I have lost almost 10 pounds (one pound to go) which means I am buying new shoes for work as a reward. Still struggling to with eating healthy everyday, but I'm working on it.

Scrapbooking update

I have been doing a lot of scrapbooking over the past two weekends and want to share the end results. I don't know that anyone really cares, but I think Abbey might like to see my new pages so here goes.

First of all I got caught up on all of the month pages. I had sixth, seventh, and eight month to do. It usually takes me a long time to decide which pictures I want to use, but as I was working on these pages I realized I hadn't taken as many pictures the past few months, which I regret, but it made my choosing pictures much easier. ( Side note, I am trying to take more pictures this month).

I also put face pictures on the '12 faces of Zane' page ( just made that name for the page up, I think it is perfect). I love this page, even though the past few months he hasn't really changed much.

After I was done adding pictures to the pages my sister made for me, I branched out and made a few pages from scratch. The 'First Foods' page I had made a few months ago so I made the robe page to match it. I know they aren't very complicated, but I don't have a lot of ideas and even fewer supplies so it will do.

I also made pages for Zane's six month pictures. I couldn't fit all the ones I like on two pages so I made two layouts. The first layout was a bit of a struggle because I only had one of each letter, so imagine it says sixth month :) I love how the second layout turned out, again very simple, but I really like having them displayed in a nicer way than just mixed in with all our other photos.

I still have his first Christmas page to do, but am other wise caught up. I guess I am kind of a scrapbooker now. Maybe I should get something a little sturdier for my paper and stickers than the torn target bag they are in currently. Thanks for getting my scarpbook started for me sis!

Like Father Like Son

Over the past week Zane has finally started to say Da da, to Zach's great delight. We aren't sure if he truly know what he is saying or if he just happens to be on D words, but is very cute none the less. He said ma ma for a few weeks and then moved onto another letter, currently H and D. So I thought it would be appropriate to take a little photo shoot of my boys. I think it turned out adorable. Zane looks so much like his daddy with a little bit of my dad mixed in for good measure.

Happy face!

Silly Daddy!

Serious face!

Jury Duty

Today I reported to jury duty promptly at 8:30 after driving around in circles, looking for the parking garage for a solid 30 minutes. The map they sent in the mail made it look like the parking garage was across the street from the court house. This was not the case, they were really about 4 blocks apart. After parking I starting walking in the general direction of the court house and by the grace of God walked to the right building, just like I knew what I was doing ( I did not).

I had come prepared for a day of waiting and doing nothing, after talking to a couple people at work yesterday who had recently been to jury duty. Once everyone reported to duty, a judge, not the judge we were going to be dealing with, came in and told us a, not so brief, history of the judicial system in the United States. She also told us all about how judges are appointed and retain their seats here in Missouri. This was interesting, but in no way needed. Then this judge told us that we had been selected to possibly serve on a Grand Jury. At first I thought this could be cool, as they told us this meant we could possibly hear murder trials, but after a brief G-chat conversation with Abbey I realized that actually it would be the worst thing ever.

The people that I talked to at work told me that someone would come in and call numbers throughout the day and then those people would be questioned by the judge. They also told me that it would be fun and I would make friends with the people I was sitting by. Neither of these things happened. No one came in to talk to us until 11:30. Keep in mind lunch was to be between 12 and 1:30 and we were suppose to be done by 4. They called back 30 people at that time and the rest of us were sent to lunch with instructions to return at 1:30.

As the day drew one I decided that jury duty is exactly like waiting for a delayed flight at the airport. I, being a pessimist, always go into flying prepared to spend the entire day at the airport. I bring books, my ipod, I find the vending machines, and many other options to keep me entertained. There are always the same types of people at the airport and there were these same types of people today during our wait.

There are the people who are super pissed about the situation, they are unnecessarily loud, constantly asking people what the hold up is, and to hear them tell it they know everything about everything. This person was sitting behind me today. She had been to jury duty 3 times and " had never not been chosen for the jury." She complained ( loudly) all day and at one point she asked me why nothing was happening. Without looking up from my book I said, " I have no idea, we are probably going to die in the room." I found this hysterical, she did not.

There are the people who are able to sleep peacefully in the horribly uncomfortable chairs. I wish I could be this person, but I am not. There are the ladies who can read, completely content, for hours on end. This is the group my mother would fit into. Some people listen to music the entire time or play on their ipad, which I desperately wished I had today. There was a guy who walked laps around the room all day, I am definitely not in that group. There were a few people who tried to make friends, but overall the room was devastatingly silent for eight hours.

I am the person who does multiple things. I read most of the time today, but also mixed in some ipod, some internet surfing on the phone, some solitaire, some scrabble on the phone, some texting, and of course eating from the vending machine. I haven't wasted that much time in a single day in months.

Finally at 3:00 they took us all down to the court room to see the judge. I was excited about finally getting interviewed so I could throw around the wild biases I had come up with throughout the day, in hopes of not being picked for a grand jury. Turns out there was a minor detail they forgot to mention to us about grand juries, apparently, unlike other juries, grand juries are completely voluntary. They meet every Wednesday for 18 weeks and prosecutors present evidence for different cases to them. Then the grand jury then decides if there is enough evidence to indite the person and take them to trial. If I didn't have a job or a kid it would be very interesting to be a part of. However, I do have both of those things so when the judge asked who would be willing to be part of grand jury I did not raise my hand. Here is a genius idea I have for the judicial system here in St. Louis county, come into the huge room of people at the beginning of the day and ask who would be willing to serve on a grand jury. Then interview those 15 people and let the rest of us go. Just a thought!
And that was my jury duty experience, tons of fun!!!

Ten on Tuesday

1. Lets start with a Zane health update. He still has diarrhea, though it is improving. I swear he wore more pants Sunday than I have owned over the past decade. His belly is also slowly improving. He is drinking fine but still isn't back to his normal self with baby/table food. He loves to wait until he has been bathed, dried, and we have started to put his jammies on to throw up. Then he gets to go back and take a second bath which is just too much fun.

2. I have to go to jury duty tomorrow. Zach got summoned a few months ago and was called off the night before. He assured me that I would get called off as everyone in his office, who had to go on a Wednesday, had also been called off. Due to these facts I had totally written the whole thing off. Why, I'm not sure, because I have terrible luck and of course I would get to go sit in a room full of strangers for two days. On one hand I think it would be pretty entertaining to be on jury and I have already come up with the title of my book, once the famous trial I am on is over, "Juror 134", that's me. On the other hand I have to work Thurs. and Fri. so I won't get to hang out with Zane until this weekend, sad face.

3. I am going to try to read again tomorrow since there is only so much solitaire a person can play on their phone in one day. I am hoping that I will be successful and that my mind won't wonder to depressing places, we shall see. I need to pick out a book this evening.

4. Happy fat Tuesday to everyone. I worked today and we were all very festive. One of the most adorable patients, who just recently learned how to walk again, had her own mardi gras parade, complete with handing out beads and giving the nurses a king cake.

5. On that note I'm not excited about lent. For that matter is anyone ever excited about lent. It is such a depressing time in the church and honestly I just can't handle depressing things right now. I am committed to giving up potato chips, which I have done for a couple weeks already on my weight lost quest, but I will probably fall off the wagon during my hours of waiting around near a vending machine. I am excited about all the tasty fish fries the churches here have, so I guess I will try to focus on the bright side of lent.

6. During my five days off I did a lot of crafting to keep myself busy. I got a lot of work done on Maggie's ABC book for her birthday, it's going to be super cute, and yesterday I did a bunch of pages for Zane's scrapbook. I did his 6th, 7th, and 8th month page and I made a page for the pictures of him in his robe. I feel better that I am caught up and love how the pages have turned out.

7. Check out Zane in his hoodie. How adorable is that??

8. Here is Zane's post bath hair due. I think it fits his personality perfectly.

8. Wreath update: I have decided, thanks to mom, that some little bubble bees and butterflies would liven my wreath up a little bit. Something I didn't think about was that Zane would immediately grab it and pull a big hand full of moss off of it the first time we walked out the door. So I had to patch it up a little bit, but it looks good.

9. In good news I have officially lost the weight that I gained after dad died and it only took 6 months. So now I'm back to just needing to loose the 30 pounds of baby weight I gained. It is such a daunting task and is it is really difficult to fit working out into our busy lives, but I am trying to stay motivated.

10. I am excited about springing forward this weekend. This means it will be light outside when Zach gets home and more importantly it means spring is almost here. I can't wait to be able to grill and play outside soon.

Happy Ash Wednesday tomorrow everyone, I will be celebrating by doing my civic duty, fun fun!!

Spring Moss Wreath

Since I couldn't have arts and crafts day at the farm this weekend I decide to forge ahead and have a little arts and crafts day of my own in the basement. I have several crafty projects going right now, but the first one I wanted to get finished was my new spring wreath. I could just post the link to the blog where I found the instructions, but I am going to pretend like I had this original idea and wanted to share it with the world.

Supplies: These can all be gotten at Hobby Lobby or Michaels

Grapevine wreath - $4
Bag of Spanish Moss - $4
Hot glue gun and a bag of glue sticks - it takes a lot of hot glue so you will need a new bag
Wooden letter of your choice - $2
Black paint and a sheet of scrapbook paper of your choice - $1 each
Little nest  - $1 for two
Cute birds - $1 for two
Little eggs to put in the nest -$2 ( I bought a bag of eggs, you could just buy two or three little eggs)

Grand Total: Right around $15 which is amazing since I saw wreaths like this on Etsy for $65.

Assembly:
- Hot glue moss to the wreath so it is all covered. I grabbed a hand full of moss, molded it so it fit nicely around the wreath, then pulled the moss back and glued it down. I covered the whole thing and then went back and filled in the empty spots. Once it was all covered I trimmed the moss so it all looked even. This is an unbelievably messy project and it really would have been better if I could have done it outside, but it was freezing and raining here so it just required a lot of vacuuming.Once I was done with the whole thing I took it outside, gave it a good shake, and trimmed all the loose ends, before hanging it on my front door.

-Once the wreath is covered I glued the nest on and hot glued the eggs inside of of it.
-Then I hot glued on my adorable little birds. I made a little family, but no the nest does NOT symbolize me being pregnant, just part of the design.
-I spray painted my letter black last night, but it looked horribly boring so today I went and got a piece of scrapbook paper that I thought looked
classy and used that to cover the letter instead.
- I traced the letter onto the page, cut it out, and then decoupaged it onto the wooden letter. I loved how it turned out.
- Once the decoupage was dry I hot glued the letter onto the wreath. And tah dah... a new spring wreath. It was a very simple, though rather messy, project.

So far the reviews have been mixed. Zach's response was " what else are you going to put on it?"  I don't know if that means my other wreaths are really busy or if this one is really boring. I am concerned that the moss is going to fall off and get everywhere, and Zane loved it, of course! I am thinking about putting some little butterflies on it if I can find some that don't look to garish or cheesy.

Good times

Zane may be sick, but he is still having a good time. Yes, he still is having symptoms of his illness, doing a lot of laundry around the Korenak household. Yesterday we lowered the mattress in his crib down, as he had started to try to escape, and today he had a blast playing in his bed.

Here are the super cute pictures to prove it! Brightened my day for sure.

Silly little guy, he is too much fun.

Well shucks

Yesterday I didn't get home from work until almost 9p.m., if that tells you anything about my day yesterday. Zach told me that Zane had thrown up a little after his night time bottle, but I wasn't that concerned. I proceeded to run around like a crazy person packing for Zane and I's trip to Oklahoma. In the midst of this Zane woke up again, I fed him, and soon saw that whole bottle come right back up. I tried to remain positive, but as the night unfolded it back clear our five day visit to Oklahoma wasn't going to be happening.

I will spare you the gruesome details about the vomit and diarrhea, but I will sum it up by saying by 5am there were no clean sheets or baby blankets in the house. We had used all the crib sheets by 2am and moved onto queen size flat sheets. All the parents out there have a clear picture of how the night went, because they have all been there. This was our first go around with the stomach bug as parents and I have to say it was everything that I had dreaded it would be, preparenthood. I just kept thinking, what happens when there are more kids, to which Abbey told me, it means more laundry and well ... more everything as too. And yet again my respect and gratitude for my parents grows.

So instead of a fun filled day of flying to Oklahoma and visiting with family, as previously planned, Zane and I took a trip to see the NP at the doctor's office. Zane took lots of long naps and occasionally sipped on some Pedialyte. I napped a little and tried to pull myself out of a deep depression. I'm pretty sure that now I won't be able to go back to Oklahoma until May. It took lots of work and I called in a lot of favors in order to get five days off in a row. I guess I will have to try again. I suddenly feel like I live much farther away from my family and again I only have one kid.

Zane seems to feel a little better this evening, though still pathetically cuddly and tired. I guess we will have a fun five days off here at home, doing nothing. Well shucks!!!!!

Ten on Tuesday

1. It has been a pretty boring week, as evidence by me not blogging all week. I worked this weekend while Zach and Zane went to southeast MO to see his family. Zane got to meet a few more family members he had yet to meet and of course they all fell in love with him immediately. Zach said a good time was had by all, wish I could have been part of the fun.

2. I had a busy weekend at work and an even busier day today. I am so tired of RSV season! We did have a fun baby shower for my friend Michelle on Saturday, who is having a baby in April. This meant tons of tasty food and me not doing so hot on my eating healthy kick. I am sure I will continue to be off the wagon on my upcoming Oklahoma trip, but going to try and workout with Abbey.

3. Happy Birthday to my sister, Abbey! I hope you had a wonderful birthday. I miss you, I love you, and I can't wait to see you and your adorable children this weekend! Hugs from all of us in the STL.

4. When I got home on Sunday, after crying about the rain, Zach showed me a quote from a book someone gave use when I was Pregnant, Baby Beatitudes. The quote was "Blessed are laughing babies, for they repair hearts." Cue more tears, but that has been so true over the past few months. I read through the rest of the book yesterday and the other quote that rang true was "Blessed are the mothers of ailing children, for they will never be consumed by what is trivial."

5. Zane is doing worlds better with eating real food. He gets better everyday and apparently fell in love with mash potatoes over the weekend, a boy after my own heart. He also is enjoying gold fish crackers, well actually chickadees ( target brand gold fish crackers) these are really tasty which isn't good because then I eat them along with him, unlike the nasty plan cheerios that I have no desire to eat!

6. In terrifying news, Sunday night it, apparently, it was super stormy here complete with tornado sirens, tornado warnings, strong winds, and I hear that the weather people actually knew what was going on. I don't believe this because weather people here are horrible and have no clue what the are talking about. The terrifying part was that Zach and I completely slept through this, oblivious to the wind damage that was happening outside. Keep in mind we completely wake up every time Zane coughs, but we don't even stir with high winds and tornado sirens.

7. I still have a cough, not bad, but still a cough non the less. What if I have pertussis or TB? This happens every year, maybe I should see a pulmonologist, in all my free time.

8. I am planning an arts and crafts day for Saturday at the farm. We are going to make spring wreaths. I can't take mine home on the plane, but it will be fun to help everyone else make theirs. I can't wait for spring time!!

9. I have started trying to plan my garden. Last year was an epic failure, but I have high hopes for this years crop. We are filling up our raised beds with better soil, Zach has all sorts of sprinkler ideas, and I am trying to prioritize what I really want to grow this year since we don't have much space. I know we need tomatoes and squash for sure, neither of which did well last year.

10. My goal for this trip home is to learn how to make white gravy. No I don't know how to make this, even after numerous tries at learning. However, I am dedicated to learning all my mother's cooking tricks, so get ready mom because this is a must have recipe if I'm going to be a real life mom one day.