Ten On Tuesday

1. We are all still trying to recover from our big weekend of celebrations. I struggled hard on Sunday, even though I only drank one glass of wine all night. I think I was just beyond tired and it finally hit me. We did manage to go watch Brendan and the Falcons play Sunday afternoon.
Here is Rowan watching the game. The Falcons struggled, possibly due to the fact that some members of the team were up all night at a sleepover the night before.

2. Mom caught the tail end of Sunday's brunch, just in time to walk back to the car with us. Rowan was apparently in desperate need of some Grandma cuddles, "I wan gwam wa" screams could be heard down the street. Here he is loving on Grandma!!

3. After the ballgame Zane reminded me that I had told him after Able's wedding we could decorate for Halloween. I was really thinking first of October, but to be fair it was after Able's wedding so we compromised and put up our indoor stuff. Don't worry there is another box of outdoor decorations still to come. 

 Zane was in charge of placing the leaves around. He did a great job and yesterday we went to the Dollar Store for kitchen Halloween decorations. PS they have great decorations there.

4. Sunday evening we met some of our neighbors. They have a two and half year old little boy and the mother was due to have another little boy today. That was me exactly, 19 months ago. Hopefully we can be friends and maybe Zane can play with the older boy. I didn't initially like our chain link fence in St. Louis, but by the end of our time there I had grown to love it. You could actually have a conversation over the fence and we met so many wonderful neighbors that way. We could even pass kids back and forth across the fence when Zane wanted to play with the neighbor kids. The tall, privacy fences, make that much more difficult.

5. I promise I have a wedding blog recap coming soon, but just for a sneak peak here are my two boys in their matching suits.

6. Yesterday I spent most of the day at the Allergy clinic getting two shots, every thirty minutes, four five hours, with two hours of observation, doing nothing, at the end. Things went well while I was there but by the end of the day my arms were killing me and itching like crazy. I've been using a lot of ice packs and hydro-cortisone cream today.

7. Ro's is into giving kisses now. His classic "Ahhh Baa" kiss is quickly followed by "more?" and then more kisses. I love this and want to remember it forever. Sometimes he tries to come in with an open mouth, on the lips kiss, which is slightly out of hand, but he has the head tilt and everything down. He is going to be a ladies man for sure.

8. In other adorable news Zane can read Rowan his favorite book. Well technically not read it so much as recite it from memory. Ro's favorite book is Brown Bear Brown Bear, it's really the only book he ever wants to read. So now Zane has started "reading" it to him, complete with trying to pinch/tickle Rowan's little cheeks for some unknown reason. Adorable!

9. Saturday evening the boys had their first non family baby sitter since we moved back. Turns out that that is stupid expensive. It was my child life friend from work, so I felt like I had to pay her well, since she is completely over qualified. The boys did well, though we did leave Rowan screaming at the door. They both went to sleep without  any crying and I got a glowing report when we arrived home.

10. Cards are officially in the post season, which mean that hopefully they are on TV here more. Zane and Rowan are both into practicing baseball in our backyard when we are outside. Rowan even had on his Mickey ears as a rally hat the other day. Here comes Red October. Go Cardinals!!

 

A Toast to the Bride and Groom

For years now, at major family gathers, I have felt that someone was missing. Abbey and I had found our other halves early in life and we felt complete. But there has been a space beside Able in pictures, that I knew would one day be filled with an amazing woman. There were many times, when Able was in the depths of sadness, after breakups, when I can remember telling him, "Able your wife is going to be amazing. I can't wait to meet her, she is going to be so much better than this girl." There were times when I know he thought I was crazy, but I kept the faith that this would be true. I remember praying for not only Able during these times, but for his future wife, whoever she might be. I prayed that she too was being patient, not losing hope. I prayed that she was safe and happy as she and Able waited to meet.

Now it feels like that hole has been filled and the member of the family that had been missing is here. Able now officially has an amazingly, wonderful wife. Someone who adores him and makes him so happy. I know they had a long wait to get to this point, but I am so thrilled that they now have found their other halves, to walk through life with.

To the bride and groom!!! We love you so much!!

Mrs and Mr Blakley

September 27, 2014

Ten on Tuesday

1.This past weekend was the first time in forever that I wasn't working at all over the weekend so Zach and I could both be at home to get stuff done. We were very workers all weekend and got lots of things done. We even started to hang some things on the wall of the new house. Not a lot, but it's a start. Rowan and Zane's rooms are both pretty well done so that's all that matters right?

 

2.Saturday we met Uncle Able and Grandma for an early breakfast, after Zane had proclaimed it hat day. We all whore or Cardinals hats and of course Uncle Able had a fun hat on as well.

 

3.On Sunday after lots of working we relaxed with a living room picnic. Zachand I didn't have the energy for a park picnic, but this seemed to work just as well. Judging by my picnickers laying down during lunch I'm guessing they didn't have the energy either.

4.Also, on Sunday we found a new park that is a huge pirate ship! Hooray! It was kind of a win loose situation. It was great for Zane, not only because it's a pirate ship, but also because there were three other four year old boys there ready to fight bad guys. However, the slides and climbing area is huge, way to big for a little Ro baby to explore on his own so Mommy and Daddy had to climb with Ro,who was less than enthused. Rowan was also less than happy about Zane playing with other people besides him. The life of the younger sibling, it's rough.

5.Of course the biggest news around here is that it's WEDDING WEEK!!! That's right folks, my big brother is getting married Saturday and I'm over the moon with excitement. I can't wait to see all the friends and family that are coming in for the big event and I of course can't wait for Able to marry his beautiful bride. The bride and groom came over Saturday evening for dinner and OU Football. Zane was so excited that the next time he would see Aunt Kari and Uncle Able was at the wedding. Rowan celebrated the event by saying Kari for the first time! So cute!!!! We are all ready for the big day and the big party!!!

6.Rowan has started wanted to be a big helper in the kitchen just like brother. However, Rowan's skills are not has highly tuned as big brother, so it can be a little bit messier than when Zane helps. So far we are working on stirring and not sticking our entire hand in the bowl. It's a work in progress to say the least but it is very cute.

 

 7. In other news we sold our house. That's the good news, bad news we lost a stupid amount of money on it. But we're moving forward, signed the papers this evening. Trying to be happy it's off our books, though our "books" are hurting after it. You  live and you learn I guess.

8. I have signed another thirteen week contract at my current job. That will get me up to Christmas and then I'm going to go to the float pool and work all over the hospital, I guess. I'm trying to figure it out, but for now hopefully we can save some money, now that we only have one house payment!!!

9. This week we started the Halloween decoration search and I think we are well on our way to an amazing Halloween party. Zane is beyond excited about all our new stuff. After actually shopping for Halloween stuff, Zane set up a Halloween shop in the living room and "went shopping" for days. I'm so excited for him to get to have a big, blow out, Halloween!!!!

10. Lastly, in exciting news, Zane is thoroughly enjoying his new Pre-K class at school. In sad news Mr. David no longer teaches there, I'm not sure why, but he is doing well and he proclaimed "I'm having lots of fun at school, I really like my new teacher and our projects!" They are sending home papers that tell what he is doing and learning. So far I think all the new arts and craft projects are his favorite, but I'm just glad I'm hearing some positive comments about school. Rowan also walked into his class, no crying, and just waved at Zach. Is that a good thing or a bad thing, I'm not sure. 

 

Tales of a TET Baby: Age Four

From that day, four years ago, when our tiny, five day old Zane was diagnosed with Tetrology of Fallot, instantly a list formed in my mind of the specific days in the future that I was dreading. Of course the obvious first day on this list was surgery day. Beyond surgery there were other days I knew I would be facing that filled my heart with ache; when Zane was old enough to notice his scar, when he began to realize that his scar made him different, the day someone said something mean to him about it, the day they tell us that is condition is worsening and it is time for him to get a valve replacement, and the day that he asked/figures out that he will have to have another surgery. That last scenario happened, completely unexpectedly a few weeks ago. 
 
This day I had been dreading came out of the blue while Zane and I were cooking dinner. In between chopping things up and stirring our creation he said, "Mamma, am I going to get another stripe." What a weighted question. I knew in a four year old mind, "another stripe" means literally another stripe, beside his current one. If he needs open heart surgery it'll be the same strip just cut open again, not easy to explain to a four year old. Or if they can do his valve replacement via cardiac cath, which everyone assures us will be the case, then he won't have to have "surgery" per say again, but still needs a repair. That's even harder to explain to a four year old. As these things were going through my head I found myself trying to explain how heart valves work to a four year old. Then I stopped myself and realized I truly had no idea what to tell him. I knew that this was a question he would have and that eventually I'd have to explain to my son that his heart, though it has been repaired, isn't fully functional either. But when I envisioned this conversation I didn't picture trying to explain it to a four year old.
 
We stopped what we were doing and I sat down with my beautiful blonde headed boy, who by this point had more than a bit of fear in his eyes, and I did my best, in that moment, to explain that his heart still doesn't work quite right. "Is it broken mamma? But you said they fix it when I got my stripe." And then that all too familiar feeling of my heart sinking and the realization that we can't pretend that it never happened, set in again. This feeling is followed by a deep sigh, tears welling up in my eyes, and me feeling a little bit sick to my stomach, all at once. I told him that it's much better, that he isn't sick, that everything is fine for now, but when he is much much older doctors will need to fix it a little bit more so that his body can stay nice and strong. Who knows what parts of that conversation his four year old mind heard, how it was taken in, or if he understood anything at all. However, since we had that conversation the topic of his heart condition, and his need for another repair, (getting another stripe) has come up in some shape or form everyday. So he obviously took some part of what I said into his little mind.
 
It just so happens that this past week I started the process to get him into a pediatric cardiologist here. I desperately do not want to do this. This means hurdles to jump through to get his medical records here, then more hurdles to actually get an appointment. All these hurdles involve retelling my son's medical history over and over, followed by the eventual cardiologist appointment, which judging by how Zane and I's conversation went, might be traumatic. The appointment will be a full reliving of his heart history, going over everything with someone new, who I'm admittedly hesitant to trust. As much as his cardiologist in St. Louis was the person to deliver my life's worst news to that point, I truly grew to love him. He was there through every step. He loved Zane and was a wonderfully kind man. I loved that hospital and trusted everyone in it to be the best of the best, because I worked beside them. There was no doubt in my mind we were at the best place for him and I felt beyond confident in his care there. I'm sure they will do a great job here as well, and honestly I know exactly what they will say to us. So in reality this particular appointment shouldn't be a big deal, but again, I'm always concerned for the future, hoping we are in the best place for him at that time.
 One evening, while explaining to Zach about the numerous hoops we will be jumping through, Zane heard me say the sentence, "My son has Tetralogy of Fallot." When Zane heard me say this, he turned to me with a look of complete terror on his face and began to cry. I realized in that moment that he had most likely never heard the actual name of his heart condition before. And to a four year old I'm sure those big words sound terrifying. There were no words to explain it, I just cuddled him and reassured him that he was fine, and that mommy was just working on getting him a new heart doctor here. The day after this happened I was picking him up from school and the new director asked me if I was a doctor. When I explained that I was a nurse she told me about how Zane had showed her his scar and told her he was going to have surgery again. She thought this was just so cute, I can't help but think why he feels like it's the first thing he needs to show people when he meets them. 
So four years later our TET tale evolves. I am trying to stay on my toes and be more prepared for the questions he might have. I am researching better ways to explain everything to him. I am counting my blessings that he was born with such and out going, confident in his own skin, spirit. I remain grateful that he is here with us to have these conversations, as I am constantly aware of many children around the world with his condition who don't make it to this point. There are lots of days that I never think about it now, which was a point I wasn't sure I was ever going to get to. However, a lot of those days are now abruptly interrupted by Zane's questions or conversations about his stripe or his broken heart. By the grace of God our story continues and it appears this story line is going to remain a major part of our life. 

 

 

No No Bo Bo

As Rowan has started to talk more a new nickname has emerged for his big brother. Zane is now, very lovingly, referred to as Bo Bo. I'm sure this was derived from a combination of brother, bubby, and/or bubba, with Ro Ro thrown in there somewhere. Don't get me wrong sometimes it still comes across as bubba, but usually it's bo bo. It's highly adorable, especially since Rowan screams it randomly all day long. The moment Zane is out of his sight I hear little Rowan "BO BO!!!!!" He wonders around rubbing his belly, yelling bo bo until he locates them, then he giggles so hard once he has found him. Zane loves this new found name and more importantly he loves that fact that his brother is starting to actually be able to communicate!! This from the boy that has asked me since the day we brought Rowan home, "can he talk yet?"

Rowan's new found ability to communicate is really the first time he has been able to express his love or desire to be with Zane. Which leads to the seconds cutest part of this whole thing. Frequently now, when I'm singing to Rowan at night, he starts to cry, "I wan Bo Bo, I wan Bo Bo" (Yes, he says I want all sorts of things now) And he points his little finger at the door. This goes on to the point where I have to call Zane into the room to give Rowan hugs, kisses, and sometimes even get into the chair with us for evening cuddles and songs together. Zane loves this, giving Rowan little pats, "it's ok Ro Ro," "it's time to go night night." These two cannot wait until they can share a room. Not yet.... soon. As cute as this sounds on paper it gets old quickly since I'm sure it's really less about loving his brother and more about putting off going to sleep. He has tried this in the middle of night recenetly, which obviously isn't happening, but to an irrational 18 month old this is unacceptable and requires a huge fit to be thrown.

This new nickname is not always used in a love fest. A lot of the time it is said in a very angry, eighteen month old voice, as in "No No Bo Bo" with a little finger wag in his direction. When Zane steals Rowan's toys, or takes his binki, or shoves him to the gound. My favorite use of the phrase though has to be when we are in the car and Rowan doesn't think Zane is paying enough attention to him. That's when he starts screaming "no no bo bo" or just "bo bo" over and over. Zane has started to just start screaming Ro Ro right back at him, then laughter insues and it's lots of fun. On our recent trip Ro, who was anti sleep on the drive home, tried to wake his brother up with this tactic, it didn't work, but still was amusing.

Watching the two of them together, trying to talk to each other, laughing, chasing after each other, and sometimes actually playing with each other is my greatest joy. I love it. It's the reason we had another kid. The times playing with my siblings are my fondest memories from childhood and frankly most of my favorite times now include them as well. They have such a great time together and I know they are only going to get closer and have more fun, sharing more things. I can rest easier at night knowing that they both will have a life long friend, there when things are fun and wonderful, but more importantly there when things get ugly. They will have each others backs when they get into school and be there when adulthood gets hard as well. For now I love hearing Rowan's little vocabulary develop, his random sounds that aren't quite words yet. I love that he wants to be with his brother and they are finally, FINALLY, starting to figure out how to entertain each other. Life's good and I love my little Ro Ro and his big Bo Bo!

Ten on Tuesday

1. I left work sick for only the second time, in almost six years of nursing, on Saturday. The first time I thought I was in labor. This time I had a fever, chills, and couldn't remain standing. Turns out somehow Zach and I had gotten strep throat. So we both spent the rest of Saturday and Sunday laying around trying to somehow keep our boys alive. We are now on day three of antibiotics and are feeling much better.

 Both boys played nurse, here is little Rowan checking up on me.

2. I did finally cave and take Rowan to the doctor yesterday. His cough was getting worse and he couldn't sleep laying down. It wasn't strep, just and ear infection. He doesn't seem to feel that bad, he definitely isn't having any trouble keeping up with his brother. He is still having lots of trouble with sleeping though, but we all know that isn't anything new at our house. Zach and I admit that we are huge failures at getting kids to sleep through the night. We're over it.... and exhausted.

This little boy also had quite a few head bonks this week as well. Eighteen months is a hard age!

 But then sometimes he looked like this! Love his little face. I think he vaguely looks like my nephew Everett in this picture, maybe??

3. The boys are officially into the Halloween spirit. We got down the old bag of costumes and since then there has been lots of dress up fun. Most of these costumes are too small for Zane, but it looks like Rowan has quite a few options for Halloween. Zach also bought Zane a little skeleton to start the decorating of his room. Zane loves it!!!

 How cute is this little clown!!!

4. Last week I finally got to see Brendan play baseball. It was so much fun and the evening we went to watch the Falcons had a banner night. I think Zane will really want to play baseball come spring.

While we were there Rowan faced his biggest fear, dogs. He pet this cute little puppy, that's progress.

5. This week there was the first fall cold front came through which started the search for fall/winter clothes. I seriously feel like I just got their summer clothes out. Once again it's been a struggle to find pants little enough for little Ro baby. After digging through a few different boxes I think I have managed to round up a few pair that should work. In one of the boxes Rowan found these adorable rain boots that are almost his size. He loves them! Side note Rowan does NOT love pants. He has quickly learned to how to take them off and refuses to wear any when we are at home.

 

6. Rowan's fascination with shoes continues and he is learning how to put his new, Nike kicks, on. He also is fascinated with socks, everyone's socks, he can put those on as well, but hasn't really been able to combine the two just yet. He is getting too big way too quickly.

 Here is little Ro putting big brother's socks on his hands and feet.

 And here are his new highlight colored shoes. He loves them!! This is obviously before the said cold front.

7. Today I think I have finally purchased the last of the things needed to spiff up our family for the big upcoming wedding. Turns out it takes a lot to pull us together. The boys matching outfits are all pulled together, I have wedding heels (that I am not sure I can commit to), sparkly party flats, and as an added bonus the boys both got new fall jackets on our mall adventure today. I caved and got Zane this Ninja Turtle's jacket. He was just so ecstatic when he found it in the store, I couldn't say no, yes he is spoiled, dang it!!! Rowan got a dinosaur jacket that is a cute matching green color. Yes, big brother picked that one out as well.

There is a mask that comes down over his yes from that hood and it zips up over his mouth so he has a turtle mouth. Maye he can just wear this for Halloween??

8. This morning I did my part to help out with the Richard's kids week without their mom. We had a good morning, though Brendan still can't understand why Zane doesn't know how to play video games. He has had no desire to really learn how to play, so we just don't play them, in turn he is terrible at Mario Kart, in turn infuriating Brendan who has been amazing at that game since he was three. We all have our gifts! Once Brendan headed to school Maggie and Zane did bond over the Wii dance game and I got to do Miss M's hair. I am admittedly horrible at doing little girl hair, since I am firmly a boy mom at this point, but she requested a "crazy Aunt Audra pony tail bun." I think it turned out pretty good! And I took the crazy to be referring to the bun not her Aunt Audra, right??

I got everyone off to school safe and sound. Little Everett was such a trooper, no tears for me all morning. Love him!!

Maggie's hair is getting very long, making for a wonderful crazy, bun, pony tail!!!

9. Today I randomly decided to start trying to pull this house together a little bit more. I think this was partly due to the fact that I'm feeling much better and secondly because Zane decided he wanted to be a "beary worker" today. When Zane decided that he wants to clean, help unpack, organize, cook, really whatever, he does an amazing job almost to a fault. When I was pretty much over cleaning/organizing Zane decided we should clean his outside toys, and his room, and my bathroom. I went with it and got lots done. When he isn't in a helping state of mind things don't go as easy. 

10. In this same vein today I came one step closer to realizing my dream of my child being old enough to independently do the dishes. Zane can already take out the trash, and does without being asked, which is huge. But I hate, and I do mean hate, doing dishes so I can't wait until the day that Zane can be in charge of this task. He does well washing them in the sink, but today we had a tutorial on loading and unloading the dishwasher. Today, in his super helper, beary worker state, he loved it and it did great. We will see what tomorrow brings. I am hole heartily committed to raising boys who grow up to cook and clean just as well as they can build and fix things!!!! 

 Zane did the clean up dishes in the sink while I finished cooking. Zane made all the balls for our meatballs this evening. He is becoming quite the little chef.

Whatever Zane can do Rowan believes he can do as well, so he also got a dishwasher tutorial which ended up with him walking around with a knife briefly. Probably too soon for that little guy. 

Ten on Tuesday

1. Rowan had his 18 month appointment this week and remains a little peanut. I think he weighed in at 24 and a half pounds. He is kicking along at 40th percentile in everything. He randomly had terrible stranger anxiety at the appointment, which I've never really seen him have before. He did insist on bringing his Cardinals hat which acted as his shield between him and the doctor and the nurse. It worked well and I'm pretty sure he never made eye contact with anyone. He did get a shot and handled it like a trooper. Ro is one hundred percent an 18 month old with random fits of screaming about things he desperately wants or wants to do, but can't because they are windly irrational. Such as going outside, with his blanket, in his diaper, at 8pm. Not happening, but it was the end of Rowan's world.

 

 Me and my little Cardinal boy!!

2. Speaking of outside, I had bought a new umbrella when we moved into this house because there are zero trees in our yard which means zero shade. Well the lovely Oklahoma wind blew the umbrella (which was in aweighted stand) and our glass top table completely over, breaking both. Yes there are shards of glass all over our backyard just in time for the weather to cool off. Somehow Zane managed to fall down while taking the trash out and scratched up his leg. We have yet to figure out the best way to clean up this mess, but I'm thinking we might have to dig up large portions of grass. Fantastic!!! I can't win for loosing.

 

3. Rowan and Zane seem to being having lots of fun together this week. At one point I was distracted for a few minutes and found Zane having a grand time giving Rowan shopping cart rides. They also spend lots of time chasing each other, falling face first on to the couch, and yelling at the top of their lungs. I love to see them actually starting to play together, with it ending in tears, bites, or fights possibly a little bit less. 

 

 This was Rowan later in the day, in a tiny wagon that he found at Aunt Abbey's.

 

4. One day this week Rowan randomly woke up before Zane at nap time. This never happens and usually means Rowan's afternoon is going to be a disaster (that was true on this occasion). But before things went down hill he is initially super stoked for some one on one mommy time with me. This particular day he decided he wanted to try on brother's underwear, all of his underwear, at once. He couldn't figure out why he couldn't walk around with them all on, very disappointing, but oh so cute!!

 

That's right people, he has Ninja Turtles and Minions

5. This year Maggie is getting to stay home an extra year before starting kindergarten, which I highly support since I myself was a 6 year old kindergartener. This means that some days Maggie gets to go do fun things with Zane and I during the day. This week, on Thursday morning, Grandma happened to be in town so we took all the littles out to the park and lunch together. It was lots of fun, complete with Rowan and Everett starting to figure out how to play with each other and not try to kill each other. They were stinking cute. Everett was climbing all over the playground with Rowan following close behind.

 

 Yes, Rowan brought his duck whistle with him, which made him easier to locate so I was ok with it.

 I know this was about Maggie getting to hang out with us, but somehow I have no pictures of Maggie and Zane, just Rowan and Everett, who are equally adorable.

6. This past weeks big activity was the celebration of Zach's birthday. Rowan and Zane made adorable cards, outside, prior to our table breaking. We had a great birthday celebration Sunday evening, at Aunt Abbey's house. The entire party was planned by Maggie, who is five. It was a book theme complete with book covers hanging from the ceilings, a book shaped cake, and a party 

outside. Maggie lined her hallway with books and so nicely labeled all the rooms of her house, just incase we forgot where things were. It was really adorable and we had a great time. Thanks Maggie. 

 

 

 The party planner and the birthday boy by the party tree.

 Yes, Zach and I both had personalized crowns made for us. We were obviously the king and queen of the party!

 Here is the cowboy dance crew. They were the entertainment and were actually much happier than this picture portrays.

Book cake, obviously the decorating was done by the party planner herself.

 

7. I made a point to take a family photo at this party after being asked to send my mother in law family pictures and realizing that we NEVER take pictures as a family. When we do they obviously involve one of my children looking away or being crazy, but we need to make a better effort at it. So here we  are, yes, Rowan does have a huge cheesy puff in his mouth, but it's the best we can do at this point. 

 

 Love this picture of Zach and his mini me, again with a cheesy puff.

 

8.There was lots of baseball played at the birthday party, since Brendan is playing little league this fall. Brendan has gotten pretty good at hitting of hit T, to the point that it might have become a little dangerous in the backyard for little kids. There is one helmet, but five kids, so things got a little interesting and I think he might have switched over to a softer ball by the end of the night. 

 Rowan chilling with Aunt Abbey in the out field.

 9. Here is yet another, hysterical photo of Rowan. This is Rowan in my swim cape, looking like Mikey P!

10. One of our new, semi regular, activities is going to meet Uncle Able for breakfast or coffee before he goes to work and before we head out for our daily errands. The last time we did it I took this adorable pictures of Zane with Uncle Able. This particular day Zane was reading a news paper for the first time and asking Able and I what a news paper was. It was pretty comical trying to explain news papers to a four year old who had never seen one before, because all my news is on my phone of course. How crazy is that? However, there are few things as cute as Zane in Uncle Able's hat.