Ten on Tuesday

1.Thursday evening we had a lovely family dinner with my cousin Kristen, who is home from her year of world travels. She lived in Paris for the past year, so has definitely been through a lot and is really grown up now. She heads back to CA for her last year of architecture school this week. It was great to see her and so glad she is home safely.

 2. Kindergarten continues and is having it's ups and down. By Friday morning Zane was beyond exhausted and an emotional basket case. There was lots of stress over a Ninjago cliff hanger, where Zane (the ninja) might or might not have died. Then there weren't any more seasons on Netflix, all ending in me purchasing season 4 of Ninjago on streaming Amazon so Zane could not have a mental breakdown all day at school. He has told me his hug sack has a leek in it (so sad), so lots of cuddles have been needed. I hear school itself is going well and that his teacher told him he can start reading his words to her soon. He did tell us yesterday that the Yellow Family (his family) is "the loudest." I asked if it was the best family and that was his response. That sounds about right. Thursday evening is parent's night at school so probably will get some more insight into how things are going and what to expect going forward after that.

 Silly faces in the morning.

3. Uncle Able and Aunt Kari got Rowan a "sorry your brother started kindergarten present." I had to tell him about it to get him to stop screaming when Zach and Zane went to t-ball practice Wednesday evening. He was dying to see it and finally he got the big surprise Thursday evening. Here he is rocking his new "running shirt," as he calls it. He now frequently tells me "Suns out Guns Out" and flexes his adorable, tiny arms. Thanks Aunt Kari and Uncle Able, saved the day again!



4. Friday evening was the Chucky Cheese Fundraiser for Zane's school. I had zero desire to go, but after his rough start Friday I humored him. He had a great time and saw a few of his classmates while we were there. Chucky Cheese was much smaller than I thought it was when I was child. I never went as a child, but in my mind it was a two story, huge, crazy place. This was much more subdued and doable. Glad Zane could have a fun end to his long week.

5. Since receiving his "running shirt" Thursday Rowan has been asking to run with me. I did try to get him to run/walk during our morning jog Friday, but it was "too hard." So Sunday evening, right before bed, he told me to put my "running stuff on" so we could go "race." I tried to get away with just a tank top, but he insisted on the headband, the pants, and my running shoes!! We did "race" up and down the street and then took a little jog around the neighborhood. He was hysterical and very proud to beat me in a few races.

 First we stretch, obviously! He has watched Momma do this quite a bit if you can't tell.

6. Saturday evening we had family game night and played The Game of Life. Rowan and I won, after forgoing college and having five kids. It was lots of fun and Rowan stayed with it, helping to count, and keep track of our children.

 After playing The Game of Life we played Rowan's guy game with his old Clue board. The rules to the guy game are pretty fluid, but it is always a great time.

7. I had a baby shower Saturday afternoon so these too made cookies with Daddy. When cooking with daddy, safety is always first, both had on safety goggles just in case. Yes, Rowan wore his new shirt everyday, and made sure I washed it every evening.

8. I don't know if it's the time Zane is spending in school or if these two just have lots of aggression to get out, but they needed lots of rough play this weekend. Including this epic wrestling match, that I was confident was going to end in a trip to the hospital. No one was hurt, in surprisingly good news!

9. Zane came out in Zane's shirt at one point this weekend, hilarity ensues!!

10. Rowan was pretty devastated when Zane headed back to school yesterday. We tried to go play at the park, after the gym, but after about seven minutes he moped over to me and asked if we could go to Sonic instead. Sure buddy! Then we decided maybe doing a little Science could lift his spirits. He had a great time! Rowan really just wants to do lots of baking soda and vinegar, lots of bubbles, and the added bonus of an exploding Ivory soap in the microwave to mix in. After Science he was back to laying on his blanket, but at least we had a little fun. We also learned the letter D yesterday, which he was so proud to tell Bobo about when we picked him up. Fingers crossed this gets better soon.

How is August over? Hope everyone has a safe Labor Day weekend!!!



The First Week Without Bobo

Rowan's life is a pretty big struggle these days. For the past week Rowan has had to try to navigate the world without his best friend and big brother, Zane. Until this week Rowan has always been a very happy go lucky kiddo. He would jump in, head first, to whatever adventures or games his brother came up with. The sound of their laughter and screams filled my days off. It was the best sound. Yes, there was lots of fighting and arguing in the midst of the laughter, lots of "you not my brother anymore." "You not my best friend anymore," being thrown around, but never actually meant. At the end of the day my two boys were best friends. They would hug and kiss and all was right with the world.

Then last week Bobo finally went off to kindergarten, all on his own, leaving little Rowan by himself with me, boring Mommy. I knew it would be difficult, I knew he would miss Zane, but I'm not quite sure I ever envisioned the level of depression Rowan would experience. A week in and I can't say it's gotten much better. The only thing that Rowan has truly enjoyed this past week was making play dough, twice. I'm pretty sure he thought we would be making play dough everyday, but Monday I convinced him we could made muffins instead. He does pretty well in the morning, handling Zane's drop off with ease. He has even done great at the gym, going to Child Watch by himself without complaint. There haven't been any tears doing either except on the first day. But as the morning progresses reality starts to set in.

When we arrive home from our morning outings I can see the weight of the world falling on his tiny little shoulder, when he realizes that he's home, without Bobo. Then we spend the rest of the morning moping, wondering around the house, laying on the ground or the couch, cuddling his blanket until finally it's lunch time, followed by naps. The first day he couldn't even remember our daily routine, "What we doing after lunch?" "It's nap time honey, just like always." "Oh right, nap time." In his sadness he had forgotten the daily routine we've had since he was born. He tries to convince me he should go to sleep at nine thirty in the morning some days, "I tired mamma, I go lay down in my bed." No kiddo we have to power through a little bit longer. Then he takes epic, three hour naps, like he rarely would do when Zane was at home. Leaving me in a big, empty, unbelievably quiet house, not quite sure what to do with myself.

Rowan knows how to play by himself and does it frequently when Zane is there, but he has yet to do that now that he is here alone. He needs/wants me to play with him at all times, but also his playing usually involves laying on the ground, looking at his toys. He has become my little helper, helping me put dinner in the crock pot, clean the house, fold clothes, and sweep the floor. He needs to be involved in whatever I'm doing because he cannot figure out how to play anything without Zane. He did request that we start working on learning his letters, so we've gotten a few new learning books and done a few fun alphabet activities, but his sad little face doesn't stick with it for very long. He has also decided to fill in the missing fits from my days without Zane. I can never guess what hill he is going to decide to die on from day to day. Today's battle was I told him he had to try to sit down and poop. Yesterdays battle, that ended in a full meltdown, crying fit, was me telling him he had to wear shorts on our walk outside. He screams and ends up in his room. Today when I told him "big boys DO NOT behave this way, he said, "Bobo behaves this way." Well there is that.....

This was how our first trip to the park ended, after about five minutes.

I get asked about 100 times a day if it's time to go get Bobo yet. He's always very worried about bringing Zane a drink. On Monday he requested we leave family swim time at the gym early, so we would have time to go get Zane a drink from Sonic. The saddest part of it all, to me, happens when Zane finally gets home. Zane is exhausted from his full day of kindergarten and only wants to lay on the couch and watch TV. I've made the rule that they need to play for awhile first, and have tried to explain to Zane that Rowan has literally laid around crying for him all day. This leads to Zane  yelling at Rowan, telling him he can't possibly do any of the things Rowan is requesting because "he's been in kindergarten all day." Or last Friday when Zane couldn't possibly do anything at all because "I've been in kindergarten for three days." He talks to Rowan like he is a baby, the little brother who has no clue about the terrible struggles of kindergarten. Zane refused to go check on Rowan's 'workers guys' now because, "they aren't real Rowan, I can't even see them." And the imagination begins to fade. They argue about everything, Rowan gets his feelings hurt, Zane inevitably hits/physically hurts him in some way, and everyone ends up in tears. Not the beautiful, loving, picture I had of them reuniting at the end of the day.

Sometimes Grandma comes over and he gets to watch fun youtube videos of cats being scared of cucumbers or people cutting up watermelon. These are the highlights folks!

Rowan and I do get in some great cuddles, especially in the car while waiting for Bobo to appear from the doors his school.

So the time I get to spend with Zane during the week consists of the hour or so in the morning, which is a whirlwind of getting ready, packing lunch boxes, and trying to handle all the emotions of everyone involved. This morning, his fifth day in a row without a nap, Zane was in a glass box of emotion. There was a cliff hanger ending on Ninjago where Zane, the ninja, died. When I assured him that if the good guys haven't won it isn't the end, he fell into a pile of tears telling me, "Well it is the end because THERE ISN'T ANY MORE SEASONS ON NETFLIX!!!!!!!" Oh being six is hard. So I then had to find the next season on streaming amazon, buy it (because it was worth $14 to stop his mental breakdown) and then we had time for one more episode. Sadly that episode also ended in a cliff hanger with some clues that Zane might be a live but he still wasn't sure. How could he possibly handle kindergarten with all this stress. I spent the rest of the morning (a whole 10 minutes or so) holding my HUGE, 70lb boy. When he got up yesterday he told me that his "hug sack had a leak in it." This remained true today. Poor kid, he pulled it together and walked into school after a long huge and a big sigh.

Yesterday the boys did some much needed work done before heading to school.

Life is tough, lots of challenges and changes for everyone involved. But I'm happy to report that Zane was in great spirits when I picked him up this afternoon. He told me he had learned a few new people's names in his class. He still hasn't learned anything new, but claims he's having lots of fun. This evening was Chucky Cheese fundraiser night. I really didn't want to go, and had made dinner in the crock pot (having forgotten), but we had to go. Zane was so excited and needed some happiness. This afternoon Zane and Rowan seemed to play a little better, they went outside so maybe they screamed at each other while I was doing laundry, but I didn't see/hear any tears. Maybe we're turning a corner. Rowan did good today too, though still threw a big fit this afternoon, and wanted to lay on the floor with his blanket all afternoon after naps. Who knows, maybe that's just our life now.

Ten on Tuesday

1. Week one of school is going well. Zane is rocking it, though extremely exhausted at the end of the day. The boys are still working on transitioning back to playing with each other once Zane gets home. Rowan is struggling and his one joy is making play dough, repeatedly.

 There is a lot of this happening, cuddles, tears, sadness. This was our first attempt at going to the park. It didn't end well, we left after about 5 minutes of Rowan wondering aimlessly.

2. Our neighbor buddy P started all day Pre-K last week and we often arrive home at the same time. Zane loves to show him everything in his book bag. P seems to be in awe of Zane's lunch box. They are not at the same school now, but will be next year when P goes to kindergarten. Best buddies!

 3. The firsts continued over the weekend with the first day of Kindergarten Sunday school. Zane wore his first day of school shirt for the big day. As expected Zane was slightly let down by his new Sunday school teacher. It's hard to compete with Ms. Maggie. This year sounds a lot more like normal Sunday school with a workbook, a bible story, and some coloring. Good thing he learned everything he could possibly need to know last year.

4. The biggest news from Sunday was the discovery of the lost Dinosaur book bag. We had left it at Sunday school sometime in the spring and basically had given up on it, and Snoopy who was inside. Turns out it has been in the RE office this whole time. I can't believe we didn't think to look there and that they have kept it this long. Snoopy and Rowan were reunited as well has lots of trucks Rowan has been missing. There was also the famous multi-colored jacket that all the boys, in both sides of our family, have worn. It was definitely a big find!

5. Sunday we went to a Harry Potter Day celebration. It was a few little shops who turned their side of the street into Harry Potter Wonderland. There were sorting ceremonies, different classes taught by impersonators of different HP professors, tours of Hogwarts, Quittach, and Butter Beer Snowcones. We did all the things and definitely had the best costumes at the place. Rowan and Zach both posed for lots of pictures. Rowan was the only house elf  and was a big hit. It was tons of fun!

Getting ready for defense against Defense Against the Dark Arts class.

6. Yesterday, when Zane got home from school, his new Ranger Rick bag was waiting for him. I could tell Zane was in desperate need of some nature time when he asked to go on a nature walk at six o'clock at night. So we walked around both lakes in our neighborhood finding treasures and seeing how each tree makes it's seeds. Every tree had a different kind of seed/seed pod which Zane found very intriguing. Now we have a bag full of nature to take to the nature tree house next time we head up to Grandma's. We stopped by the park as well and Rowan once again was able to have a blast with his brother!



7. Last week Zane went to his first Cub Scout meeting with Zach. I was working, but hear it went fantastically. Zane did all the activities, games, and skits with the Tigers, because the pack leader assumed my huge child was in first grade. Turns out he is actually going to be a Lion, with the other kindergarteners. It sounds like it should be lots of fun, with camp outs, nature exploration, and of course popcorn sales which will be starting this week! I'm sure Rowan will love a full weekend of just momma and Rowan. Or it will be his personal hell, but Zane is going to love it!

8. Here is the latest update in the long saga that is six year old tball. We signed up for fall ball after everyone on the Red Sox assured us they would be playing in the fall. Of course that didn't turn out to be the case and we were reassigned again on to, wait for it.... The Lake Monsters!!!! I originally told them we weren't playing because I didn't want to get kicked off again in the spring and their coaches were way too intense. But after exchanging emails with the head mom I hear that the crazy intense coaches have taken their sons up to coach pitch, Zane's Red Sox coach will be coaching, and quite a few of his Red Sox team mates will be on the team now as well. Add in not having to buy a new uniform and I guess we're back on for fall ball. 

9. After a week of having a kid in school here is my take away. There are so many things to keep track of & to remember to pack everyday it kind of drives me crazy. And that's before we get to the scheduling debacles of getting him to & from the building. I hope it gets easier for me as well because I'm currently drowning in notes.

10. Lastly a quick prayer request for a friend of mine from work. After struggling get to get pregnant for over a year she finally got pregnant with twins. She's 27 weeks along & the babies aren't gaining weight like they should so possibly might have to deliver next week. Please send up lots of prayers for her sweet boy & girl that they can have some more time to cook in there.



To Zane on Your 1st Day of Kindergarten

Dear Zane,

We have talked about this day for two years. When you were four you started to ask about this mythical place, where you would go to school, all day. Last year at this time, when your friends from daycare were leaving your class for kindergarten you cried and begged not to have to go. You weren't ready then, but you were completely confident and prepared today. Over the past year you've grown up in so many ways. As the months passed you grew more and more excited. You've counted down the days this past month. When the calendar flipped to August you were ecstatic that the day was almost here.

Today was the day! Yesterday we met your teacher, Mrs L. You introduced yourself and spelled your whole name for her, like such a big kid. You took it all in and your only concern after all the excitement all you were worried about was whether you would learn how to play basketball. Last night you made sure that we read The Kissing Hand, giving me a kiss in my hand for today. Last night after singing you a song, you grabbed my neck and gave me a big hug, "I'll miss you tomorrow Mamma." Your such a sweet boy, but definitely ready to head to school by yourself.

 This morning was late start Wednesday so we had quite a bit of time to kill before your drop off at 9:20. Briefly I prepped you for the possibility that I wouldn't be allowed to walk you inside, after reading and email from your teacher this morning. You kept your cool and said, "Well, I'm sure there will be a teacher there to help me find the playground, but I'm just a little nervous. It will be ok mom." You were ready for anything! We had biscuits and gravy for breakfast, your brother cuddled you, and you picked out your "fancy outfit."

You picked out your first day of kindergarten shirt and bought it with money that Grammie had sent you for back to school things. It had spaceships on it and I think I saw at least one other kid with this shirt on at your school today. Possibly a kindred spirit!

The wait to get in the car was brutal, but you humored me with lots of pictures and hugs. When we got to school you got out and were ready to roll. You were so excited that after months of waiting you finally got to use your new book bag and lunch box. Rowan and I walked you out to the playground, where you gave me a big hug and kiss then you were off. Some teachers confused you with the second graders, but you corrected them, telling them your teachers name. I hear you didn't play much because your back was still hurting from your monkey bar injury from last night, so you talked to your teacher instead.

Rowan didn't realize you weren't still walking with us until we got outside, then he turned around and looked for you. When he realized you weren't there he fell apart, "Where Bobo go? Why he not with me today?" I didn't cry until your brother cried. We both missed you so much today. Rowan was lost without your sweet smile. He wasn't sure what to do with himself all day. He laid around, waiting for when we could finally go pick you up. Our day was long and sad here without you. I'm sure things will get better, but your energy, smile, and love was dearly missed today.

 Your brother's reaction when he got back into the car.

Here is a look at your brother's day. It was a little rough, but I'm sure it will get better.

We picked you up in the car pick up line, where we found you confidently waiting with the rest of your kindergarten friends. You looked perfectly happy and confident after your first big day. I thought you might be horribly tired or sad after a long day, but nope, you were great. Rockstar of kindergarten. When we got home your brother couldn't stop hugging you. You wanted to rest for a little bit before all the cousins arrived so Rowan served you play food for as long as you'd let him. You asked him about his day and what all he did while you were gone, it was so sweet to watch you two miss each other and reconnect.

Jingle boy met you in the car when we came to pick you up.

This evening Aunt Abbey and Grandma brought you first day of kindergarten presents. You played with your cousins and ran out some of your built up energy. After everyone left you sat down and told Daddy, Grandma, and I a detailed play by play of your day. There was lots of lining up, learning rules of different places, eating lunch (with plenty of time Mom), sitting on the carpet, playing in the stations, rest time,  you became part of the yellow family (with Aaron and Olivia), and you "didn't learn anything." You told us about the four different special classes that you rotate through. Today you went to art class, with the red family, and drew/colored a square of some kind. You knew every piece of your day and boldly told us all about it. You haven't learned anyone's names, but I'm sure you'll soon have new friends to tell us about.

I am in awe of your bravery, your confidence, and your strength. Today you walked into a new world with no fear. You chatted up your teacher, you met new people, you learned lots of rules, all of which you could repeat back to us. You towered over your classmates and were wonderfully prepared for this big day and this next chapter in your life. I am so happy we got an extra year with you here at home. I am over joyed that the extra time has paid off so well. You could not have had a better first day of kindergarten. What a blessing you are. I cannot to see all the amazing things that lie ahead for you this year.

Love your very proud Mamma!