Ten on Tuesday

1. I worked on Thursday but hear that the boys had a good time at home without me. Friday morning we headed North to see Grandma at the farm. Since we weren't sure when we'd be back we went ahead and helped her decorate all of her Christmas tree, put up her big golden angels, and set up the Nativity Scene with all the class animals from my childhood.

 2. The new hand holds on the big mulberry tree means that both boys can climb up into this huge tree. Rowan might actually have it a bit easier since he only has thirty pounds to pull up the tree not seventy like Zane. There's not much room once you get up there, but I'm sure it's an amazing view.

 3. One of Zane's favorite things to do in St. Louis was jumping in big leaf piles. Sadly all the leaves by our house blow away, but there are plenty to jump in at the farm. It was a chilly morning and the leaves were wet, so less fun than usual, but still good times.

 4. Of course there were chickens to take care of. They are still pretty traumatized from their recent attach, but the boys took great care of them. Gathering the eggs, feeding them, holding them, watering them. They are great fun!

 5. Possibly the highlight of the whole visit was Zane's public reading of One Fish Two Fish Saturday evening. He read the book in it's entirety, which is way too long, but he did great with it. Sounding out words, figuring out the random made up Dr. Seuss words, it was wonderful. A month ago it was like pulling teeth trying to get this kid to read out loud, to anyone. Now it's a daily occurrence and he's continues to do amazing with it.

 6. Grandma's elves also helped with the Thanksgiving Day prep. Our family celebrations weren't until Sunday evening, so this cute little elf helped with bread making Sunday before we headed home. The hat was really too much cuteness..

 7. Then back home to put up our Christmas tree! This year we added bubble lights, a la my childhood.

 8. Our big Thanksgiving celebration was Sunday evening at The Richards Casa. I took all of two pics, this one of Uncle Able and MJ. And then the one of Rowan working on the turkey for approximately two seconds. It was a great time, I just forgot to document it!

 9. Our little elf friend was a little late this year, I hear he couldn't find one of his reindeer, but he did show up Monday morning after eating our turkey cookies all night.

 This morning we woke up to Gary's yearly decorating. This year he wrapped our table in wrapping paper, hung some ornaments from the lights, and added a festive garland to the playroom. He does this every year, he thinks our Christmas decorations are subpar.

 10. Monday morning was dentist day for both boys, for the first time. I am so proud to report that little Rowan did amazing with his first dentist visit. In adorable news Rowan and Zane both picked the same toy from the prize box, little bouncy balls. True brothers. Then Rowan's world exploded when we had to take Zane back to school. Sad faces, all around!

Best Nature Walk Ever!

One of Zane's favorite activities is to go nature walks. This is really just a walk where we collect all different kinds of nature to examine when we get home. We did this frequently, usually around the two little ponds near our house, when both boys were home. But since starting school we haven't really had a good nature walk. On Tuesday afternoon it was gorgeous weather so we jumped on the chance to walk around the neighborhood and enjoy the fall day. Zane rode is bike, which usually ends with his complaining about how far we've gone and him struggling to get home. Rowan of course still wants to hang in the stroller because he's painfully lazy.




Off we went! I didn't set out for it to be a nature walk, so much as just a walk over to the big lake in the neighborhood, but of course Zane had a different plan. He stopped to collect every beautiful fall leaf  and pinecone we came across. For some reason the pinecones we found we HUGE and should be perfect for Christmas crafts. We stopped to climb trees, collect leaves, talk to the dogs peering over the fence, and did eventually end up at the big lake. When we got there we the boys were ecstatic to find a huge dirt pile. Nothing is more fun than a huge dirt pile. This dirt did happen to be the bright red Oklahoma dirt, that I know will ruin your clothes if you get too much of it caked in, so they took a few climbs and falls down the hill before I convinced them to move on.







Then I taught Zane how to coast down the slight declines on the running trail around the lake. Zane quickly did a lap while Rowan and I tried to dust off from the dirt pile. When Zane returned he was very upset to find his "singing stump" (a big stump that he and Rowan stand on to sing songs whenever we visit the lake) had been covered by dirt. There has been lots of work on the little waterways by the lake, in an attempt to get the water to actually drain into the lake this year. Rowan and Zane quickly got to work uncovering their favorite stump then proceeded to sing songs, per usual. 





At this point our "little walk" had turned into an hour long adventure. But they hadn't even gotten to play baseball with the green crab apples yet so we stayed a little longer. I was amazed at all the things that Rowan loves to do with his brother, but refuses to do with me. Rowan and I take walks all the time. We always go tot he park and the big lake. I always suggest tree climbing and playing catch with the crab apples. He never leaves his stroller, except maybe to sit with me on the bench. Nothing seems fun when it's just you and mom. But boy did they make up for it on Tuesday. They did all their favorite things and would have stayed there until dark, but we had to head back when Mamma had to pee.



Zane zipped ahead of Rowan and I on his bike. Not the least bit tired, riding as fast as he could the whole way home. There was no way I could keep up with him at this point, but his bike was in the driveway when Rowan and I finally made it home. He had gotten home and headed over to the lake across the street to join our neighbor, and his Grandpa, for a little fishing fun. Then we examined all our nature and made 'leaf men' out of the leaves we had created. I'm telling you the excitement never stopped! The kid never tires. It was a great day, full of fun times, and lots of adventure. I definitely paid for it that evening and the next day when my whole body ached, but it was well worth it.



Ten on Thanksgiving!

1. This week Rowan and I had another evening with just the two of us while Zane and Zach went to the Boy Scout Pack Meeting. Zane won top salesman in his little Lion Troop, which doesn't say much for the Lions sales, but he did get a little wooden car to paint as his prize. While they were gone Rowan and I made and epic car tower, the way I use to make them, with can goods and books. Rowan's attention span never ceases to amaze me. We built and played with this the whole time they were gone. We added guys from his guy box and all his hot wheels. It was tons of fun.



 2. Friday morning the Kindergarteners finally got to go to Antler Alert (the Friday morning all school assembly which they usually aren't invited to and which reminded me that there is no way I could be a grade school teacher). All the kindergarteners came in and got to sing their Thanksgiving song, The Pilgrims came to America. Zane was front and center, and literally a head taller than everyone in his class. They didn't get to stay for the rest of the assembly after they sung, but they all did a great job. Lots of cuteness to go around. We came back and brought Zane lunch as an added surprise.  

3. My kids are ready for winter. This week when temps finally dropped below the 80s, maybe into the 50s or 60s they both busted out their snow suits to play in the backyard. They quickly came inside and complained of being hot, but they are ready for a  snow storm. Rowan in his tiny Carhartts is the cutest thing, possibly ever.

4. In a classic boy mom moment, I came home from a long weekend at work Sunday, to find this sitting on my pillow. Placed there perfectly by my eldest son, who just the day before I had told I was having snake dreams from all our reading of snake books. Thanks buddy! 

 5. Also while I was at work Sunday there was big news of Rowan getting hooked up with Chick Hicks from Aunt Abbey. She had two so probably didn't realize how big of a deal Chick Hicks was to Rowan. He has been asking Santa for him and Santa was having a hard time locating one, so it was very exciting news. Rowan, in a strange turn of events, plays with his cars everyday. Still can't get use to him playing with actual toys. It's pretty amazing.

6. After working all weekend I then had three days with both boys, since Zane's school was out all week. These three days have really proven that it was a good thing that I waited until Zane was in kindergarten before having another baby. I cannot keep up with all his energy and constant, non-stop action, personality. Monday and Tuesday I tried to keep up and we did all kinds of things. But by Wednesday I had given up, canceled an adventure with Grandma and the cousins, and opted for making cookies at home instead. Then we went to the movie in the afternoon. I'm beyond exhausted and my entire body hurts, but Rowan is having the best week ever. I do love having both boys at home. They are both so happy, helpful, and have played with each other wonderfully. I miss that toothless grin when Zane's in school.  

7. One of our numerous funtivities Monday included making a popcorn turkey. It was the easiest, cutest, and most entertaining Thanksgiving craft I've seen in a long time. We had both big and little paper bags already so it was also free. Super easy and the boys got to surprise Daddy with the popcorn surprise inside when he got home.

8. Tuesday's fun included at trip to Otto's along with all the OKC school district children. It was a mad house, but we had a blast with Aunt Anna, who joined us for the fun. It was a big day for Ro who braved the huge slide with his brother, have Otto, high fives, and helped his brother beat Aunt Anna in tug of war. 

"I gave Otto a high five, TWO TIMES!" -Ro

9. By Tuesday night I felt like I might die, so I enlisted my two little helpers for some house cleaning. They were amazing and we got all the floors, swept and mopped, and the playroom picked up in record time. Zane can sweep the floor without any help and seems to enjoy it. But he was the most excited about mopping because he can dance while he does that. He had quite the dance party mopping the dining room and kitchen floor for me. What a God sent for them to actually be able to be helpful with chores these days.  I love Zane's attitude towards life, always having fun!

10. As I mentioned before I decided I couldn't face another big outing on Wednesday so we made Thanksgiving cookies with Gma instead. The kids did great and we had just enough dough to keep they interesting, but not so much that I was cutting out cookies by myself at the end.  

 Here are the toothless gang. MJ is missing all her front teeth and Zane has the gapping hole up top. They are quite the pair and were in charge of all the mixing.

 Meanwhile the little boys were in charge of measuring things with Grandma. It's hard to get a pick of the little guys, but they are extremely adorable.

I was at work all day, cuddling little tiny ones, but I hear everyone had a great Thanksgiving without me. Our big festivity isn't until Sunday, but I ate plenty of tasty treats at work today. Hope everyone had a wonderful day! 

Tales of a TET Baby: High Risk Stress and Blessings

I haven't been able to sleep well for weeks. I wake up with my heart racing, sweaty, and scared. Usually I know why I am awake. I've been jerked out of a terrible dream. Sometimes it's a dream where I have a little special needs child, that we love, but that has quite a tough life. Sometimes I'm back in the CICU, with another baby, hooked up to machines and monitors. I'm filled with guilt for putting another child through all of that, and for putting their big brothers through the stress of a sick sibling. Then I'm awake, heart pounding, head hurting, wondering what have I done, and little man squirming around in my tummy. Not the lovey dovey, dreams of my new sweet smelling newborn baby boy that you hope for.

This past few days has been worse, leading up to today's big ultrasound. During the day I'm better, with lots to do. There is the big huge one to get off to school and help with his reading/math in the evening. Then there is the little one who needs lots of cuddles and a playmate while his brother is away. And the little tiny one is kicking and playing in my belly day and night so I'm not always stressed. But yesterday, as soon as I forgot about what was going to be happening today, for a few minutes, I'd receive a text message or a call from the doctor's office reminding me of all I had to look forward to. Meanwhile Zach spent most of yesterday on the phone with the insurance making sure that we really wouldn't have to fork up close to a grand to have this nightmarish test done. Of course after talking to numerous people and jumping through all the hopes that wasn't the case. Love the added stress that always pops up.

Last night, while Zane was saying his evening prayers, I told him that we were going to see baby brother today. I told him the doctor's where going to check that he was healthy and everything was looking ok. Zane, always quick with the comic relief, said to me, "I hope his heart is ok so he won't have to have a BORING, heart surgery like me." Sorry that your birth defect isn't more interesting to you. "I just had to sleep the whole time, I couldn't even see anything." So disappointing.
Then off I went to bed for another restless night, up at 5:30 this morning with little man kicking, and my heart racing.

Then we were, back in a waiting room, remembering all the other waiting rooms we had sat in. That's something I had never imagined for us, years of waiting rooms, sitting together, waiting to hear news that could change our lives. It wasn't long before we were in the dark room, looking at the big TV, watching our little guy squirming around. With Zane ultrasounds were amazing, a glimpse at our child in utero, what could be better than that. We even saw his little dimpled chin before he was born, it was lovely. All the ultrasounds since Zane have been gut wrenching experiences. Because during Zane's twenty week ultrasound, when we were oohing and aahhing over those cute feet and tiny nose, a huge piece of the puzzle was missed.

All our ultrasounds since Zane have come with the footnote on my chart "mother's first child had tetralogy of fallot" marking me high risk, big bold letters, TAKE A CLOSER LOOK! So we get the long version of the twenty week ultrasound with lots of pictures, lots of measuring, and lots of silence. Because they don't tell you anything while they are doing it. Today the lovely woman didn't even try to make small talk, just told us what we were looking at. "Oh here's his head, we'll measure that, make sure everything is there." Great, I'm a neuro nurse at heart, that should be the most terrifying part. Unfortunately it's not because then came, "Ok now lets look at his heart!" And a tear fell down my cheek as I tried to not throw up on the very nice lady who was smearing goo all over my belly.

After watching echo's for six years Zach and I know just enough to freak ourselves out. They turn on the colors, to show where the oxygenated and unoxygenated blood is flowing, the blue and red. And I turn to look at Zach, who has the same petrified look on his face as I do. The nice woman isn't saying anything, but at this point I'm certain I see a gapping hole in his heart and the colors aren't going where they are suppose to be going. She took lots of pictures and typed "four chambers" which was somewhat of a relief, since I do know lots of kids who are born without all four chambers. Then she went on to measuring his arms and legs, counting hands and feet.

Everything was there, all his toes and fingers, kidneys, all looking good. He was laying in the most bizarre position, sideways, with his head leaned way back. A perfect position to get a great look at his heart and his major vessels (thanks buddy) but a not so great of a position to get the cute pictures of his little feet or his face. He was sucking his thumb and was not to please with being poked all morning. The kind lady printed us a few pictures before leaving us to wait, again.

Here is our little guy. He looks like every baby you've ever seen an ultrasound picture of, but oh so darling!

The top picture, if you squint and look at it just right, is him sucking his thumb. The bottom one is him all stretched out with his head back.

After a grueling thirty minutes in came, I kid you not, Dr. Cory Booker, holding a folder of papers, with a very serious look on his face. He closed the door and went to sit down. "Well, let's talk." No, I have a TET baby sir, I need you tell me if my kid has a gapping hole in heart. Oh, so you're nervous. Well, baby looks great. Everything is fine! LEAD WITH THAT PEOPLE! He was a very nice guy and showed us all the pictures of the baby's heart. He showed us that there was, very clearly, a complete septum between the two ventricles, no holes. That's the picture that heart moms want printed off. The picture of four chambers, a complete septum, and two functioning valves. All babies toes look the same, but that heart, that's a picture I want on my fridge. Sadly they didn't print that one for me.

I left definitely thinking we cannot do this again. I cannot handle the stress and we can't push our luck. The doctor reminded us that we had a 2-3% greater chance of having another child with a heart condition than the average person. And reminded us that we could have genetic testing to discuss the plethora of genetic syndromes that go along with various heart conditions. Zach and I realize that if we were going to do that we really should have done it before we had any more children and opted out of that service. We still have to get a fetal echo for more detailed pictures of the little guy's heart, but for now we are breathing a huge sigh of relief and counting our blessings. I'm praying for better sleep this evening.

Ten on Tuesday

1. Rowan and I couldn't face the long drive to hunting weekend so we headed to Grandma's house instead. Rowan was very sad, to say the least, without his Bobo. This is the second weekend without him in the past few months and he really doesn't handle it well. This weekend was worse since it was three whole days with no brotherly fun.

This was Rowan Saturday morning, staring aimlessly into our morning fire. He couldn't muster the strength to throw some sticks in. It's adorable for a little while, then just down right annoying. We powered on and had a great day.

2. Usually Grandma doesn't get her Christmas village out until December, but we needed  some indoor, fun activities for little man. Also we had brought a few new additions with us, including a ridding stable which I can't wait for Miss Maggie to see. Rowan helped us set up all the stores, helped with the wiring, and placed all the people around our ever growing town! It was lots of fun and I personally love Grandma's village.

Here he is by downtown. I have decided that the village is probably somewhere in Maine because all the house and stores are super fancy and adorable, not unlike houses/stores in Maine. I've never seen fancier gas stations. I loved it! I think we might need a light house....hmmmm.

 Rowan was in charge of turning all the lights on and off. He found all the switches and new which ones had to be unplugged and which ones were on surge protectors. He took his job very seriously. To be fair he was taking most things very seriously over the weekend.

3. He also took his egg gathering very seriously, including a couple stand off with some ladies who were taking a little too long to lay their eggs. He even was in charge of herding all the girls back into the chick house Sunday evening so we could be sure to lock them up. Mom has too many chickens and is over flowing with eggs, but I hear she may have found someone to adopt a few soon.

 4. Saturday morning we headed to town to go to Leonardo's Discovery Warehouse, but literally ran into a parade first. Apparently it was the Veteran's Day Parade in downtown Enid. It was a very short and sweet ordeal. Complete with fire trucks, motorcycles, veterans in old cars, one Jr. High band, three Shriner cars, and four horses. That was literally everything and the whole thing last twenty minutes. Rowan got some candy thrown at him and it was the perfect length for a three year old. Good, small town America fun!

 4. Then we were off to the Warehouse for more fun. Rowan, unlike Zane, happily would have spent all of his time on one activity, hammering nails into wood. He did make a few faces on wood pieces, using plastic jar lids. He pretended to saw and "worked" for a long time before I convinced him to go see some other cool things. I can't quite rap my head around his much slower pace and much longer attention span, but I love it.

 Ball Python, much less interesting to Rowan than Zane.

 5. Then there was the best surprise ever, when Rowan woke up from naps to find his best buddies, Uncle Able and Aunt Kari at the farm, just to play with him. Actually they been all over the state picking up things for baby Alice and visiting Great Grandpa, but they were ready to play with little man and he loved it. We explored and had a cook out in the evening. Thanks guys for coming to cheer up little Ro!

 6. Sadly the fun ended Sunday when we had to head home to do laundry and much less fun things. Poor little Rowan could not pull his life together Sunday. We ran errands, cleaned house, and cried. Finally he pulled up ever so slightly when he got to play with Everett in the afternoon.

 I never wanted Zane to be alone, that's why we decided to have another child despite our fears. Now poor little Rowan finds himself alone often and can barely handle it. I love how much they adore each other, but it does make for a very long, painful weekend. Zane cannot leave us for quite some time.

 7. Daddy and Zane arrived home after dinner, but of course they were tired and didn't feel good so the reunion was less than ideal. Rowan could not get enough of his brother and I do think Zane had missed Rowan and I, maybe just a little bit, as well.

 8. At bedtime Zane showed Zach his loose tooth. Zach told him it was pretty loose, but not ready to come out. Fast forward five minutes, out comes Zane, from his room, with his tooth in hand, a big hole in his mouth, and a mouth full of blood. Yep, he pulled it himself. He claimed it didn't hurt, but judging by the tooth, the hole, and the blood it could have waited a few more days at least. This kid has no fear. This was followed by the long wait for him to actually fall asleep so the tooth fairy could come. Parenting struggles you never think about before you have children.

 9. Sometimes Rowan and I visit a friend of mine's dog during the day, if she is at work or out of town. The first time Rowan had a full blown panic attack, as the golden retriever "puppy" (that is much bigger than he is) jumped and licked all over him. We went back this week with a new plan. He sits on the counter while I let the dog out, then watches him play from the window. This weeks baby step, he fed the dog a treat once he was back in his cage. Poor kid has a real fear of dogs, but we continue to work on it.

 As a bonus my friend makes amazing cookies for us every time we come over!

 10. This picture pretty well sums up a boy mom's life. These two have matching bruises, both on their outer left eye, both from injuries gotten from each other. They are a hot mess who insist on playing rough with each other, all the time, and it always ends in tears from someone. Not always the same person, strangely enough.

 11. Bonus: Cute park pictures!!! Today, after I nearly died swimming (I have no lung capacity anymore) we headed to the park. In a strange turn of events Rowan was the biggest kid on the playground. There were lots of toddling little one with their mothers and then there was Rowan, who in my mind is a tiny little nugget, but he was a head taller than everyone, and oh so much braver. He was climbing all the things, going down the big slides, showing the little kids how it's done. I couldn't believe it and it made me super sad. Where has the time gone? It needs to slow down.