Rowan's Two Month Update

Rowan is two months old today and is changing very quickly. Here is what we have learned about little Rowan this month. He isn't a big fan of being cuddled, much to my dismay. At least once a day Rowan will be super crabby, arching his back, flailing his little arms. After trying everything in the book I realize that he just doesn't want to be held. This is usually when he is tired, my favorite time to cuddle little babies. Rowan likes to put himself to sleep, just put him in his bed, with a pacifier and a blanket, and he will put himself to sleep. When he wakes up he will kick and play in his crib, with only a few little squeaks here and there until he finally lets out a little cry to let us know he is awake in there. On one hand this is a miracle, brought on by a lack of time to cuddle him to sleep with his crazy brother demanding lots of attention in his first few weeks. On the other hand it  makes me sad that I don't get to sing and cuddle him very much. On the off chance he falls asleep while I'm holding him I rarely set him down, so I do get some sleepy boy cuddles in here and there.

With that being said he does like to stand up on our laps and sit up with some help from mommy or daddy. He can hold his head up much better now, still a little wobbly, but he can hold it up all by himself for long periods of time. He has a love hate relationship with his gym. He either has a blast, giggling, cooing, and smiling away in it for long stretches of time or looses his mind upon being set down. He spends plenty of time both his chairs and is very content in them right up to the point that he isn't and then he makes it very clear he is done with chair time!

This week he has been working hard on finding his hands. He is getting very close to succeeding in this task, making us wonder whether he will turn into a little thumb sucker or remain a binki baby. I'm fine with either as long as something helps him get to sleep. Speaking of sleep I'm reluctant to say that Rowan is quite the sleeper. There I said it, dooming us I'm sure, but it has to be documented. For the past couple weeks his schedule has been that he takes a power nap right around the time Zane goes to bed, 7:30 to 8ish. Then he wakes up for some more play time, sans his crazy brother screaming in his face. He usually falls back to sleep for good between nine and ten. He wakes up again between 1am -3am and then not again until, what I consider morning, 5:30 to 6 a.m. That is when Zane wakes up anyway so it works out nicely. I hope I haven't jinxed this lovely schedule by publishing it here. Now if his brother would only sleep through the night we would have it made, but that is a story for another day.

His brother adores him and keeps pretty close tabs on him at all times. We are working on Zane not screaming in his face and trying to convince him that he can talk to Rowan from farther than one inch away from his face. So far he isn't believing this and only talks/yells at his face, usually nose to nose with Rowan. He checks on him when he is crying, letting me know he is crying in his room if I don't here him. We are also trying to keep Zane from standing over Rowan when he is playing on the floor or in his gym. There has only been one incident of a slight tumble, with Zane being much more upset about the whole thing than Rowan. Zane loves helping with Rowan's bath, taking his bottle's to the sink, giving him his binki, and any other helper task I give him. Zane is still adjusting to the whole situation, with some days being better than others, but it's going pretty much exactly how I thought it would go. Frustrating at times, but I know that these two boys will be best friends soon and all these struggles will be worth it.

This month Rowan celebrated his first Easter!

This is how Rowan spends a lot of his time. Here he is enjoying, his rather hot, first trip to the Zoo.

Looks wise Rowan continues to look strikingly like his older brother, but is growing into his own little face. I think his head isn't as round as Zane's, giving him a little bit different look. His eyes continue to lighten up, but I don't think they will be as bright as his brother's. The jury is still out on his hair color, currently it's an adorable strawberry blonde, but still no curls, much to his Grammi's dismay. He is getting a little chunky, and is in 3-6 month clothes. I think his little feet are big for his age. They are scrunched in his jammie's but everything else fits fine. This month we have also had to move up to bigger socks after his little ones kept falling off and getting lost.

Mostly we are loving the new member of our family. His smiles brighten our days and his little face is just the cutest thing ever. We are still working out some kinks, but I am feeling much more comfortable going places with both of them and we are settling into a new routine all around, just in time for me to head back to work next month, mixing it all up again. I am dreading it, but am trying to remember it is only two days a week, and I do enjoy everyone I work with, so I'm sure we will all survive. Over the past two months our newest family member has racked up some adorable nicknames, to go with brother's nickname of Zaney boy and Zaneable Zin. Rowan currently goes by Ro, Ro Dizz, Ro Dizzle, Ro Ro, and Zane's original nickname for him, squeaker, thanks to his squeaking when he wakes up. " Hey squeaker" said in a two year old's voice is just about the cutest thing ever.

Now for his two month photo shoot that we did today. I decided to add his sheep into his photos for a buddy and size reference. He is too adorable and getting soo big, way too fast. Here are some of the many faces of Ro.

Explaining Evil and Remembering Today

I was having a very productive day Monday. Zane was at daycare, playing with his buddies, so I was getting a lot done around the house with my calmer son, Rowan. It was a beautiful day so Zane was being picked up by Zach, giving him more outside playtime at daycare. At around 4:00 p.m. I sat down to rest and wait for the boys to get home. I turned on the TV and saw the all too familiar scene of terror in Boston. Images of the first responders running into the chaos while everyone else was running away. The photos of peoples on stretchers being loaded into ambulances and the faces of the terrified crowds whose lives had been changed forever. In those moments I always replay other instances like this that I  have lived through previously. Sadly, this list is getting awfully long. You flash to where you were when you found out about each one and how life has changed since then.

This time was different than the rest though. This time, while watching the footage and listening to people's first hand accounts, I was holding a new born baby. An innocent little life that I had brought into the world.  I recalled my father's voice asking me "do you really want to bring a child into this world?" I get his point a little bit now. This time was also different because as I watching the news I realized I didn't want Zane to see any of this footage. I wanted to be sure it was turned off by the time he got home. I don't know if it was a subconscious desire to shield him from evil in the world or if I didn't want to have to answer the inevitable questions to which there are no answers.

Monday night quickly spiraled into fits, potty accidents, crying, and an early bedtime with no questions or knowledge of the events going on in the world around him. Tuesday when we got home from daycare he turned on the TV himself and there were the images I so didn't want him to see, followed by the questions I so didn't want to answer, "what that mamma?" Followed by a long silence on my part. In that moment I was trying to figure out how to explain evil to a two year old. All I could come up with was that bad guys tried to hurt people. Which led to the question on everyone's mind, heart breaking coming out of the sweet, innocent mouth of my two year old son, "why mamma?" Out of the mouths of babes came the question of the day, to which there is no answer. I skirted the question and quickly turned on Toy Story as much to get his mind off of it as to buy me time to digest what had just happened. It was maybe a thirty second exchange and I'm sure he isn't scarred by this at all, probably doesn't even remember it. But I'm slightly scarred by it. The first time your son sees evil in the world and asks why.

As I thought about it more I realized that I vividly remember the moment I knew, without a doubt, that there was evil in the world. I was in the fifth grade in Oklahoma when the Oklahoma City bombing happened. There was a girl in my class whose dad was in the building next door and I remember her being whisked away to the principle's office while the rest of us watched, for the first time, the now familiar scenes of terror and mass chaos. I was in the fifth grade but still remember, like it was yesterday, the picture of the fire fighter caring the baby out of the rubble, the two red headed children, hurt and dirty from the blast. I remember filling film canisters with rice on our living room floor, making noise makers for mom's class, as the search and rescue continued, days later, with cadaver dogs.

We lived about an hour and a half from Oklahoma City and my parent's took us down to see the sight, surrounded by a chain linked fence, covered with mementos left by people mourning the events that had happened there. I left a plastic green rosary on the fence and the images from that day are burned into my memory forever. Looking back I'm not sure why our parents took us there, but I'm so glad they did. Eighteen later and there hasn't been a year go by that I don't remember, on this day, April 19th, the events that took place. That's the day I learned about evil. I don't remember my parents explaining it, I'm sure they tried, while in their own state of shock.

What I took away from that experience was not that people do terrible things, but instead a huge, deep seated pride in my state and in my country. I took away that we will rise up together, from a terrible tragedy, and be stronger. The imagine of the devastated building isn't what sticks out in my mind now, but instead the image of the survivor tree. The tree that some how survived the blast when it obviously should have been destroyed. It was, and still is, a sign of hope for that city. That's what I remember most. My prayer today is that in the coming years, as my children become more aware of all the terrible, evil things, that exist in this world, that some how I am able to raise them so that the signs of hope, the good things, the light, is what sticks out in their memory, not the images of terror.

This is the bombing memorial sight today. These pictures were taken after Able ran the 2010 Memorial Marathon. This is held every year on a weekend in April. This year's races will go on as planned next weekend, undeterred by those who wish us harm.

For those of you unfamiliar with the memorial, there are two huge steel walls, that you see here. One has 9:02 on it, the other 9:03. In between the walls is the memorial, where time stood still. There are one hundred and sixty eight chairs, one for each life lost, nineteen of those for children who lost their lives.

 This is the survivor tree. It has flourished over the years into a strong symbol of hope. We never forget.

Ten in Tuesday

1. After Zane initially broke his grill, Zach has fixed it, added an "ash tray" between the legs for more stability, and it is now back to being fully functional. I got Zane a big plastic steak to grill. Added bonus, it's actually a dog toy, so it squeaks too. He loves it. Here is grilling up two steaks and some cheese.

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2. Zach also fixed Zane's adventure hat, adding the much needed neck strap, to keep it from flying away during adventures. It also doubles as a helmet, which for Zane is a good thing. First adventure with the new hat, a worm hunt, which was very successful. Here is Zane with his huge, daddy worm, find. 

 3. This weekend I tried to get a picture of all the Korenak men, this was as close as I could get. Don't be fooled, Zane sat there for exactly the two seconds it took to take this picture.

 4. Look at my two adorable little boys. Zane is, at baseline, a bit of a crazy person. He is always going 100mph, but for the most part he is very gentle with his little brother. Sometimes the pats do get a little aggressive, but he gives perfectly gentle kisses on Rowan's head all the time. It melts my heart. I know they will be best buddies soon.

 5. It was summer time weather again on Sunday and Zane was so excited to get to wear shorts. He came out of his room, after dressing himself, with this fun outfit on. Actually he had on two tank tops and just his batman underwear at first, but by the time I found the camera this was the end result. Hysterical! The pirate socks are courtesy of Grammi, they are a little big, but he loves them!

 6.I'm pretty sure there is a photo of me, at this age, actually painting our old farm house, wearing one of my dad's t-shirts. Zane wasn't actually painting, so much as painting with water, but he reminded me of the photos of my siblings and I painting our house back in the day.

 7. I can't help but post these two pictures of my adorable little boys. They were both in rare form on Sunday, super happy, and fun. Zane has been having some rough days, specifically with the pooping in the potty, and throwing fits over nothing, but I try to always picture this smiling face through all the battles we are currently fighting. I'm also trying to soak in every moment with the calm, cool, collected Rowan we currently have. I'm well aware that in no time he too will be running crazy.

 8. This weekend we finally got to make ice cream. Zach's parent's got us this ice cream maker for Christmas and Zane has been requesting to make ice cream ever since. I have to say the strawberry ice cream we made, per Zane's pink ice cream request, was some of the best home made ice cream I have ever had. Can't wait to try some more flavors this summer.

9. Quick potty training update, Zane still has not gotten buzz lightyear for those of you wondering. It has been almost three weeks now, trying to get five days with no accidents. He has been a few hours away from getting him a couple days, then proceeds to poop in his pants upon arriving home from daycare. He hasn't had any accidents at daycare for two weeks, yes he poops there, no problem. This is infuriating, because we know that he knows how to do it. Trying some new methods, mainly not giving him as much attention when he has an accident. He has every form of reward set up, so I'm close to being out of ideas. Needless to say we are running out of Spiderman undies, since they get thrown away if they get poop in them. Sigh...

10. I think we are all turning the corner into feeling better again. I went through the whole list of congestion, soar throat, cough ect. as predicted last week and Zane has had a little cough and runny nose as well. I think we are both on the up and up, just in time for Grandma's arrival this evening. I am hoping the down pours of rain stop soon so we can go outside some with Grandma this week!

He Smiles

There is nothing quite as wonderful as your baby's first smiles. For weeks they look so serious and then suddenly, they start to coo, and then the moment you have been waiting for, they finally smile. Their faces change, from a serious baby, to a smiley, happy, baby boy. You get a tiny glimpse into they future and in that moment you can see them as a giggly happy 6mn old, then a wobbly, smiling toddler, then two or three years down the road, running, jumping, singing, and grinning ear to ear. Sometimes he smiles at us, looking up at us with a giggly grin. And sometimes he is laughing and smiling at the toys in his gym or at nothing at all. It's too perfect.

The moment doesn't last long, and it's next to impossible to capture, but thanks to the invention of digital cameras you can keep taking pictures until you capture that wonderful moment forever. This week Rowan started to smile and I got quite a few wonderful pictures of his smiling, baby face.

The ornery grin, sure to resurface a lot in his future.

 Chubby boy smiling face.

Big open mouthed grin!

 The smile coming from his coos of goo.

Be still my heart, I just adore this little one. Time is going by too quickly.

Ten on Tuesday

1. It was a beautiful weekend here in STL, leading to lots of family fun. First up, Saturday picnic and kite flying at the park. It was a perfect day to fly a kite, with just enough wind. We weren't the only ones with this idea. There were a couple other people there flying kites as well. Rowan and I sat under a big elm tree while Zach and Zane ran around trying to get our kite to fly. Zach also helped a couple other children with their kites. Zane was very nice and shared his kite with a little girl whose big brother was flying a much cooler Spiderman kite. We might want to invest a little more money on another kite as this one is shot and didn't withstand the wind very well.

2. Sunday was even warmer so we busted out shorts and swim suits for the afternoon. Zach and Zane washed all the cars, including Zane's Cozy Coup.

He started with this spray bottle he got for Easter.

 Then moved on to the hose.

 Scrubbing down the his car.

 Eventually he lost his pants and moved on to swim suits. 

3. It was finally nice enough to plant a little garden this weekend as well. I didn't plant much, due to my constant failing at growing things, but just enough where Zane could plant a few things, hopefully at watch them come up, and have some flowers to water this summer. He has mastered the technique of planting onions and is, of course, a master at watering things already.

4. Zach and Zane's building project this weekend was a toy grill. I have wanted one for Zane for awhile, but couldn't pull the trigger on the $40 plastic one. I found these instructions on pinterest and Zach easily put it together Sunday afternoon. The plastic bowls were suppose to be twelve inches across, but couldn't find any that big, so it's slightly smaller than advertised, but I think Zane will enjoy "cooking outside" with daddy. I have ordered a large plastic steak, which should be perfect for play grilling.

5. Rowan got to wear shorts for the first time this weekend and it was beyond adorable as expected. Here he is taking in the world around him and mastering lifting up his head in tummy time. After the fact I realized that I had taken a picture of Zane, in that spot, in that shirt a few years ago. So more side by side comparisons. They aren't looking as much a like these days, but definitely brothers.

Rowan

Zane

 Rowan, working on the head lift.

6. On Friday, before it had gotten warm, Rowan rocked his puppy hat. Grammi made him this for Christmas and it is still a little big, but wanted to get it worn since next year it will most likely be too small. It is quite possibly the cutest thing I have ever seen.

Zane wanted to take the puppy for a ride. It didn't end well, as you can imagine. 

7. The dollar store find of the week was an adventure hat. It isn't a great adventure hat because it doesn't have a string that goes under your chin, to keep it from being flown away during an adventure, but the price was right. Zane wore it everywhere, looking for bugs, watering the garden, and while playing the iPad (a great adventure). We will have to invest in a better adventure hat before this years farm camp.

 Finding a worm.

8. Yesterday was the Cardinal home opener so Rowan got to dawn his red birds shirt for the first time. Well, technically it was big brother's baby shirt first, but it is his now. This led to some adorable photos to compare with those of his brother in the same little shirt. The main difference, I have a much better camera now.

 And a different nose.

Opening day ended with the wheels completely falling off in the ninth inning, but we are choosing to forget that minor detail. The Clysdales ran, the Budweiser song played, and for once I wasn't working!!! 

9. Thanks to the beautiful weather and time outside my allergies are in over drive. You know the drill, first the scratchy throat, then an actual sore throat, then my sinuses feel like they are going to explode, then moves to my lungs. Today we are on actual sore throat, minor sinus pain. I have started the regimen of vitamins, excessive amounts of water, tea, and trying to rest. Wish me luck. 

10. Today was my six week postpartum doctor's appointment. This is quite possibly the worst doctor's appointment you can have, baring a terrible diagnosis of some kind. You are cleared to exercise and in that moment have no more excuses for being so fat.  Also, very strange to take Rowan back there, but everyone was very excited to see him. The up side to this part of my day was that Rowan got extremely excited about the new toys that I put on his car seat. He has been smiling more lately, but this was the most smiles I have seen so far. That little smile makes him look so different and unbelievably cute.