Dec. 10: Wisdom

December 10 – Wisdom. What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out?

I don't really know a specific wise decision that I made, but a piece of wisdom that I was told has been my mantra over the past few months. That word of wisdom was " Live in the truth of what you know." I don't remember who told me this or if I came up with it after many people told me that, but in more words. This piece of wisdom is what I go back to again and again when I start to play the "what if" game in my head, this is a deadly game and most be avoided at all cost if you ever want to move forward after devastating events. The same can be said for the "why" game, why me, why now, why my baby, why my family. This will get you no where but more depressed.

So when I would start to think about why Zane's heart condition hadn't been diagnosed in utero or what if I had known sooner, what if it was something I did that caused it, what if Mom had been at home with Dad, what if Able had stayed the night with Dad, what if Dad had come here with mom ect ect, I would go back to these words of wisdom and center myself back in the moment, back in reality, and back in the truth.

You can't ask yourself questions for which there are no answers. To quote Dad "why isn't a scientific question." I used that as a tid bit of wisdom as well. I would like to think that staying in the truth as much as possible has led me, through the difficult situations, to make wise decisions. To make the decision to try to be happy, to be present in each moment with my baby instead of dreading what was to come, to praise the Lord for the time with my Dad instead of be mad at Him for all that I will miss. Of course I wasn't always successful in this, but I tried and continue to strive to live in the truth and stay in the light.