Last day of normalcy

Today was our last day of "normalcy," if you can call it that. Able got in late on Friday , Abbey and Mom got here today. The entire family is here, surrounding us with their love and support. Zane has been his happy self all day, full of smiles and energy. I have tried not to cry in front of him, though I am sure he can tell something is up. It is weird without Dad here, it just feels like someone is missing, I guess because there is some one missing.  I am sure at some point this will pass, but for now it is strange new reality that leaves us with a bit of an empty feeling.  However, this evening there was a big thurder storm, which I took as Dad saying hello and letting us know that he is here, watching over us. It rained the day after he died as well, which I took as a very comforting sign at the time as well.

Today was Able's 30th birthday, making me the last of the siblings in their twenties, crazy. I can't say Able was excited about his 30th b-day but we went on with the celebrations as best we could given the situation. There was cake, presents, and singing ( of course). Abbey made a delicious chicken/potato chowder with some of the chicken Able and Zach smoked yesterday. And we had red velvet cake for dessert. 

 I worked on my "Surgery" and "Heart" play lists on my Ipod for the hospital stay. The heart list is mainly for songs with the word heart in them,  just for kicks. So far Able and I came up with "Achy Breaky Heart", "Jump Start My Heart", "You'll be in my heart", "Total Eclipse of the Heart", and a few others. The surgery play list consists of pump up songs to keep me from jumping off a bridge. Suggestions for either list are welcome.

Zane has had a good day. It is sad to see him so happy, content, and playing because I know what he is about to go through. It is going to be a difficult road with few things to giggle or smile about, but I know my happy baby will return soon. He is rolling over like a champion now, but gets very frustrated once he is on his belly. He chewed on his toys, played with Dolores ( the duck) and Sophie (the giraffe), and got all sorts of hugs/kisses from his Aunt Abbey, Uncle Able, Grandma Blakley, and of course his parents.

We have to be at the hospital tomorrow morning at 10am for a long day of tests. I don't really know what to expect, but I know that this is the beginning of everything we have dreaded. Zane is feeling great ( knock on wood) so we should be good to go. They will tell us how to give him his pre-surgery bath, what time he has to stop eating, and finally what time the actual surgery is going to be. I am anticipating a long day of waiting around, not unlike the day he was diagnosed. Continue to send prayers our way. I don't know how I am going to stay standing through all of this, but I know I will be being held up by the prayers and support of so many.